Should i tell him he was my first?

Question

I'm 24 and i lost my virginity to my current boyfriend a few months ago after 2 months of dating him. I've dated guys before but i never really liked any guy enough to go all the way with them until i met him. The thing is, i never told him i was a virgin so i don't think he knows that he was my first. I may have led him to believe that i wasn't a virgin b/c i tried to act more experienced than i was. The reason i didn't tell him was because i didn't want to make it into that big of a deal (even though it's a big deal to me) and i didn't know how he would feel about it; i didn't want to scare him off b/c some guys might find that too much of a responsibility and i also didn't want him to think i was inexperienced. But now, we've grown even more close and i'm wondering if i should tell him or if it's too late because i haven't told him all this time. I don't know if he'll be mad that i never told him in the first place and led him on to believe i wasn't a virgin.

Answer 1

there is no reason to tell him if you are a virgin or not when he had made love with you. he had probably knew when he tried it. and it's not about having experienced or not, it's about being satisfied of what you had done to him. if he is ok about the s*x he had with you, then there is no problem. don't overthink that experienced ladies are more proud than the virgin ones. in fact, you're guy must be proud of you and himself being the first one in your life. you may tell him about it if you are already married. the most important thing to focus is your relationship with him now if it will last long and probably to get marry with him in the future.

Answer 2

honestly is the most important thing in a relationship. If you think that this guy is someone that you could potentially spend the rest of your life with than I would def. tell him. I don't think it would scare him off. He might even think it is kind of s**y and flatter him. who knows. but i think you should tell him. if it does scare him off than you're probably too good for him anyway. kudos to you for keeping your virginity so long until you found the right one!

Answer 3

i think you should tell him.

relationship will never last without complete and utter honesty

i think if he loves you, he will feel privilaged and you should become more special to him just cause he is your first and it will show him that you loved him enough to go all the way with him.....

really i know it is a big deal but trust me it will turn out fine.

Answer 4

i doubt he'll be mad i think he will understand your reasons why you were afraid and will feel very proud that you chose him to be your first.

Answer 5

What are you going to gain by telling him now ?...and what is he going to gain by being told this ? ...Why take a chance on ruining a relationship just because " making yourself feel better " is the real reason you want to tell him.... Telling him is a no-win thing for him and you that you could regret after its too late.

Answer 6

yes, you should tell him. honesty will make your relationship stronger and las longer. you never know what'll happen.

Answer 7

I think it depends on where you want the relationship to go.  If you are going to escalate the relationship you can't do it by keeping secrets.  

Answer 8

yes definitely tell him and explain to him why u didn't tell him and if he's any sweet and outgoin man then he'll luv u even more. i wish i wuz in ur situation.

Answer 9

You should tell him, at the right time. And be sure to mention that you lost your virginity to him since you felt that he was more important than the other guys you dated. Also, even though you act more experienced, chances are that he could tell you were inexperienced.  

Answer 10

of course you should tell him! and if hes this kind of guy that gets "scared" over it then he isn't the one for you! and that's cool that you stayed a virgin till 24. he might feel special :)

Answer 11

No,There isn't nothing he can do about it.

Answer 12

If he doesn't already know, then he's not very experienced himself.

Answer 13

you should have told him.

it all depends if you told him that you weren't a virgin then he might be upset if you tell him that you were his first.

but i doubt it... he'll be flattered that you chose him as your first don't worry about.. just tell him.

and good luck!  

Answer 14

i think you should tell him and also tell him the reason why u didnt want to tell him

Answer 15

I think its ok to tell him if you want to. It might bring you two closer. And might show him just how much you trust him. Question is when do you bring that topic up?  

Answer 16

i think you should ask around the bush, ask him how would he feel if he knew he was your first. then depending on the answer it will be eassier to tell him the true or to keep it to yourself. hoped this helped =]

Answer 17

Tell him over a romantic dinner or something. I think he'll be thrilled!

Answer 18

i dont think it matters anymore. if it comes up just tell him. its not like you still arent a virgin. because you arent. if he gets mad then there is something seriously wrong with me.

Answer 19

you should have told him from the start.  by you saving yourself for him, he should appreciate the fact that he was special enough to your for him to take your virginity.  if i was your boyfriend, i would want you to tell me that i was your first.  who knows, maybe it was his first time too...

Answer 20

I thik you should tell him. He might even be impressed with your natural abilities.

Answer 21

He maybe shocked and honored if you told him.~*~

Answer 22

i think it would be ok if you did whichever because unless he asks, he probably doesn't care or doesn't want to know, but if you want to tell him, i don't think he will break up with you, it'll probably make him happy to know that he was your first.

Answer 23

Yes tell him.

Answer 24

yes, you should have told him.

Answer 25

Be honest and vulnerable with him because it may make him feel closer to you and if he doesn't understand, he's not the one.  

Answer 26

it is best to be honest from the beginning but to be honest with you I could have written this question verbatim and I was lucky enough to have someone who appreciated the fact that I had waited for "mister right"  If he loves you as much as you love him he will understand, but don't let him go on thinking you slept around before, and he is just another one of you conquests, That could backfire

Answer 27

I do not think he will be angry, just be honest with him.  Its only as big of a deal as you make it out to be.

Answer 28

If you intend on continuing a relationship with this fella, you better be, trying to be something you are not is just no gotta work out in the long term

Answer 29

Yes, dear, you should have told him, so tell him now.

By the way, if you don't feel comfortable telling him you were a virgin, how can you know him well enough to be having s*x with him?

Answer 30

Umm i think he was a virgin to.