Should i write more and what do you think?

Question

For love is true

And love is rare

That’s why I’m glad you’re always there

At first I was so blind

You were always on my mind

For I did not think it could be love

But you were truly sent from above

When we are together nothing is wrong

Though I fear the day you’ll be gone

You cheer me up when I am down

For you are a diamond picked from a grown

People like you don’t come around every day

So I hope together we will stay

For love is too precious

To throw away

Answer 1

This is bloody fantastic! You have a rare talent. Oh my, this is just so evocative!

Answer 2

It's beautiful as it is.

I'd say that the line "Though I fear the day you'll be gone" makes me wonder if the person whom this is written for is planning to go away - If that is the case and it is your intention for it to sound that way - then it's great.

If not, and you intend to give/read this poem to the person,consider a slight change,from something that sounds almost like you expect them to go away,to something that sounds like you couldn't bear it if they went away.

Like: "Every minute apart feels like a minute too long".

Answer 3

It's good, but I would make a few changes to make it flow better:(my changes)

For real love is true

And real love is rare

That’s why I’m glad that you’re always there

At first I was so blatantly blind

Because you were always occupying my mind

For I did not think that it could be love

But you were truly sent from up above

When we are together, nothing is wrong

Though I fear for the day that you’ll be gone

You cheer me up when I am down

For you are a diamond picked from a crown

People like you don’t come around every day

So I hope that forever, together we will stay

For love is too precious

To throw away

But poetry is freedom of expression, so I think what you wrote is good if YOU like it!!

Answer 4

leave it like that sounds good. if u add anything else it will over do it and just be dragging on. but yeh very sweet :)

Answer 5

Its kind of naive but cute.

Dont over egg the pudding.

Is it poetry or is it songwriting - if its songwriting - where's the hook?

Answer 6

Vomit

Answer 7

It's nice but your syntax is bizarre here: i hope together we will stay

let's hope, together, that we will stay

Answer 8

wow boy!it's great as a beginner!well done!

keep up good work and never get down and remember

none of the superstars were born superstar ;)

hope to see u releasin an album.i'll be the first one who buys it ;)

Answer 9

good work sucky boy

i love "love "peoms

write one more on the same topic

Answer 10

Poetry is a releasing of the soul.

If you have the ability to write you continue it. It's not about what we think you should, it's what you think that matters and how it makes you feel.

I used to write poetry, in recent years I've developed a block. Long as you don't have that block......write on!!!!!

Answer 11

What does "you are a diamond picked from a 'grown' mean."

I think if I was her I would run like h**l. Don't give up the day job at least until you are 65.