Should men and women have an equal opportunity to opt out of potential parenthood?

Question

Depending on the jurisdiction, a woman can decide up to 24 weeks post-conception whether or not she wants to accept the responsibilities of being a mother. A man has no comparable time period post-conception to decide if he wants to accept the responsibilities of being a father, rather, the woman makes the decision for him.

Should there be an equal time period (say, 24 weeks or whatever the legal cutoff is for an abortion) during which potential fathers may waive parental rights and responsibilities?

Answer 1

I think MEN and WOMEN should take a bit more responsibility for the actions they take and the lives they create.

With all this opting out of parenthood no wonder why so many kids are messed up.

Answer 2

Absolutely...and thats a point I've made several times.  

Because I believe that it is a woman's final say about her body and pregnancy, I also believe that men should have equal say about their involvement/participation/support.  If a man makes it abundantly clear that he does not want the child, but the woman chooses to have it anyway, she should then have that child ON HER OWN.

Answer 3

How about couples actrually talked about the consequences BEFORE they dropped their pants.

Answer 4

Simply put, if the father wants to have no responsibilities over any potential offspring, he should get a laywer and have a "prenup" of sorts worked out.  This "prenup" would state that he is dessolved of any and all responsibility that would arrise in the event a pregnancy/childbirth.  He would then refuse to have s*x with her until she agreed to the terms and signed it.

I don't know how realistic this is, but in an ideal world, it would always work this way.

The simple fact of the matter is that her uterus is not any man's property, even if she invited him in for a stay once.  That would be like me visiting you at your house once, then suing you for throwing out a rug I gave you!  The man's s***n is a gift to the woman, and it's up to her to decide what to do with anything that may happen to her body as a result of her acceptance of it.

Answer 5

I agree in theory. Equal rights means equal rights.

However... in practice and reality, it is simply not the best option. Think of this case, which is not that rare: A woman accidentally gets pregnant without financial means to take care of it, but she has moral objections to getting rid of it. The father wants nothing to do with her or the baby. It's "her problem." (Also not rare) The woman is left in quite a predicament here. Should the option be given to him to voluntarily not support the child, the woman and a helpless child are pretty much screwed. Stop thinking about theory, and start thinking about what is best for the children of fathers who don't want them. Children are expensive. The very least he can do is provide financial support to a woman who is shouldering 100% of the responsibility for the consequences of his own actions.

Answer 6

Yes. I think there should. If women can kill their children in order to escape parenthood because "they're just not ready/it's not a good time/I don't want a friggen baby!!!", men should too. Equality means equality. Fair is fair. Men should be able to walk away too. Two people created the baby; both should have the choice to not raise it.

If we don't want men to have that option to opt out, then women should not have it either.

*note - I don't condone people opting out of parenthood....would to God that people took responsibility and either made sure they didn't get pregnant in the first place, or raised the children they do conceive! But if we want equality......

Answer 7

I think that a man should have equal time to decide he wants nothing to do with the child and I see nothing wrong with that.  As of right now that right doesn't realistically exist so before you have s*x with a women you will want to ask if she is pro-life.  If she is then don't have s*x with her unless you want kids. 2 to 1 she will not be using birth control and she will expect you to pay for her and the child.

Answer 8

I've been trying to ask this question for months, but I couldn't get the wording right. EXCELLENT wording.

YES... men should have an equal opportunity. Either give women less rights OR give men MORE rights. Its only fair.

IF men can't have equal rights in reproduction.. THEN men should NOT have equal responsibility AND the WOMAN should have 100% responsibility for a child since having it was 100% her CHOICE.

Answer 9

You do.  The minute you decide whether or not you're going to have s*x.  That's an equal opportunity to "opt out..."

Answer 10

If the woman can opt to murder the child, why shouldn't the man opt to not PAY for it. But when push comes to shove, I think that if BOTH females and males are too lazy and irresponsible to take precautions then BOTH should have to PAY while the child is adopted out. Some cases such as rape, incest or minors should be viewed on a case by case basis.

Answer 11

I often think that a man should be able to say early on that he does not want anything to do with the pregnancy and sign away his responsibilities and rights as a father. I think this should be done early enough so that women can then make an educated choice about whether or not they want to continue with the pregnancy and choose to be a single mother or put the child up for adoption. Other times I think that this ideal is not realistic given the fact that most people are stupid and that is unfortunate especially for the offspring of these morons.

Other times even still, I recognize the biological differences between men and women and realise that 'equality' is not even an ideal (who wants to be equal??) and that the rights women have will not be the same as the rights men have, but we should all have high standing.

Answer 12

I believe men CAN opt out -- they can sign away parental rights, and thus not have to take responsibility of being daddies.

What they (rightly) cannot do is force a pregnant person to carry the pregnancy to term.

Answer 13

Ideally, yes, they should.  Unfortunately, in practical terms, there's no realistic way for a father to opt out of parenthood.  He could sign away all parental rights and responsibilities, but the child might suffer for that.  There is no easy answer to this question.

Answer 14

I am going to completely bypass the debate, because really, it can go on forever -

My thought is that a lot of people - men and women - do relinquish their rights.  Before and after the child is born.  

If you can't handle the possibility of parenthood, then don't have s*x.  Or have the "what if" discussion before you have s*x.

Answer 15

I agree with Mutters... I doubt the bleeding hearts of the pro-lifers are the majority of care takers for these unwanted children...

anyway, this is a very hard subject to build boundaries around... men are not facing the physical changes that a women goes through, the "motherly" hormones/feelings make this huge decision much harder for a female vs. a male. BUT... if we are going to press for equality in modern society, then men should have a time-line to opt out of being financially responsibly.

The dynamics of this debate will ultimately change if abortion is banned though.

Answer 16

Eh, it works in theory; in practice, who the h**l is gonna take care of all of these unwanted babies? Not the pro lifers ranting and raving, that's for d**n sure...

Answer 17

only if they're forced to take emetic drugs and hormones for about 4 weeks and then have a doctor ram something up their ****  if they decide to 'opt out' :-) oh, and then have to wear pads for a couple of weeks and be given drugs causing cramps and lethargy. we should keep things equal after all!

if this were the case, they should have to decide asap as their decision may affect the woman's > and abortions should be carried out asap preferably before around 12 weeks > so e.g. if the woman found out she was 7 weeks pregnant he should have say 1 week to decide