Should my 2.5 year old struggle in his independance or should he be told no everytime he want to help?

Question

My 2.5 year old son think he is super man or some great hero. when I go grocery shopping he wants to help carry bags, which is okay, but sometimes he struggles with the bag but he is determined that he wants to carry the bag. Today my husband, my son and I were coming back from the store and as usual my son grabs the bag with the juice in it weighing about 2 or 2.5 pounds. My husband tried to take the bag from him and my son had a fit screaming, I got it daddy. My husband told him no. I told my husband it would not hurt him to carry a bag, if it become to heavy he will put it down. My husband disagreed, saying he do not need to struggle with bags, he is to young. My 2.5 year old son weigh about 31 pounds. Should we allow him to be independent although he may struggle or should we continue to tell him no, he is too little to carry bags. (he do not want light bags)

If we get milk he want to carry the gal. of milk. what do you think

Answer 1

Let him carry the bag. There are certain things that I would fight with a 2 year old about. Carrying a grocery bag is not one of them.  

Answer 2

I think when your bagger bags your stuff tell them my 2 yr old wants one to carry (wink)

If you go to stores that don't bag for you do it yourself. "Wow this one is heavy"

He can take pride in helping and clearly you don't want to discourage that trait but also don't want him to hurt his back.

It's ok to be a bit manipulative, " Take this one it feels so heavy for mommy".

Answer 3

I think before you leave the store you need to grab a bag or two and repack them so that they're appropriate for him to carry - nothing breakable, nothing too heavy.  Then don't wait for him to grab - OFFER him the bags and acknowledge that you value his help.

If you don't let him help NOW, when he wants to, and continue it throughout his childhood, you will NEVER teach him to help when he's a teenager.  Hey, my nephew at 2 1/2 would take the broom and sweep the front porch, and did a GREAT job of it.  So oh yeah, we let him.  He was scrubbing the toilet and vacuuming the carpet by the time he was 6.

Answer 4

As long as he can carry it alone with minimal struggle I would allow him to do so, if he gets tired of it he will put it down...it doesn't take much effort on your or your husband's part to pick it up.  When it comes to a gallon of milk you can tell him he can "help" you carry it and allow him to "hold" the bottom of the bottle of milk, make sure you let him know how big of a help he is.   Tell your husband that it helps him develop his self esteem by "helping out".  

Answer 5

Little boys always want to help carry the "big" things.  Try having him carry a box of cereal, so he can think he's carrying something big, but it won't be so heavy that he really has to struggle.  Tell him mommy needs help with this BIIIIIGG box, and will he help?  My nephew is the same way, loves to help, and he usually tries to get the bigger things, so my sister in law lets him carry the cereal.

Answer 6

this is something u and ur husband need to talk about more

Answer 7

Let him carry it, he is being independent and you should let him learn his limitations

Answer 8

if he wants to carry the heavier bags i say let him...but i wouldnt let him try the milk for a while yet since those tend to break very easily when dropped. i see no harm in him carrying heavier things...they will know when it is too heavy and they will put it down..just make sure its nothing breakable that you will have to go and buy again if it were to be dropped.  

Answer 9

Let him help. It's so cute and he's trying to be a big boy. I usually let my son carry the lighter bags so he didn't strain himself. Besides I didn't want him to drop the juice or milk and have it bust open and make a mess everywhere. Let him do what he can even though it may take longer to complete the task. He's learning to help out and it's important that you encourage the behavior, not repress it.  

Answer 10

my granddaughter likes to carry a bag too. I just pick which one for her to carry. It's good for them to help. I don't know about milk, that's about 8lbs isn't it?

Answer 11

I personally believe that you allow a child to do as much as possible -- so what if he fails?  It won't damage his self-esteem if he has to put something down, and dragging a 2-lb. bag isn't going to give him a hernia!  It takes patience to allow them the time to do things that we could do in moments -- but encouraging a helping attitude is NOT a bad thing!

Answer 12

let your son carry the bag , it'll hurt his self esteem if you do not and it will hurt him becoming more independent like he is supposed to be doing.