Should my 3 year old still be sleeping with me? And how to get her to stop?

Question

She's turning 4 in mid-july, and i'm trying to get her to sleep in her own bed. she only sleeps in it a couple nights a month. At night we put her into her own bed, but around midnight; she comes and crawls into bed with us. Which scares me and my husband that we might get... caught, and that my daughter will lose sleep. She says she's scared of sleeping alone, and I feel sympathy for her. Her day care teacher also told me she gets tired a lot, and i think it's from her lack of sleep. So, should i just let her sleep with me? How do I get her to stop? My sister-in-law told me to stop her around 4 or it'll become a habit, and her son didn't sleep by himself until he was 6 because she didn't do anything about it.

Answer 1

Get her a nightlight and a favorite toy! And shut your door!  Tell her that you are in your room and if she needs you that she can call you and that you and daddy need your special time together.  She is old enough to understand that.  I never let my son sleep with me because I see both of my sister in laws letting their kids sleep with them 2 1/2 and 4 years old and new babies that have to sleep in their own beds because the big kids have the parents bed.  I would put an end to it but thats just me.  Obvioulsy it is already a habit, so you are going to just sit her down and maybe get her a lamp that she can turn on on her own or one that goes all night and dont close her door so she doesnt get as scared until she falls asleep.  Make sure you give her a drink of water before bed and tuck her in and read her a story!!!! good luck

Answer 2

My husband and I had this problem but if you just keep putting them back in their bed it really does the trick.  The hard part comes when you're exhausted and don't feel like getting up to put them in their own bed.  At this point I usually just tell my son go back to your bed and I will see you in the morning.  He cries a bit since I won't take him back to bed but then he stops and falls asleep.  It took a month or so, but he eventually started sleeping in his own bed through the night.

Answer 3

I have 2 and they never got into the habit of sleeping with me. First of all, do you know how dangerous thats is? How many babies under the age of 2 die ever year from being rolled on by a sleeping parent?

Moving on, thats not healthy. A young child should be able to sleep alone. And you want your privecy and space right? If shes scared by a night light and offer to sit out side her door for a few nights til she sees everythings ok.

Answer 4

If you don't mind your child sleeping with you, then it's not a problem. If it is a problem for you all you can do is keep taking her back to her own bed. try giving her a night light and a special blanket or toy she can take to bed with her.

Answer 5

Don't make it feel like you're kicking her out, make it into more of a fun thing, like now that you're older, wouldn't it be fun to have your own space?  Do a special little shopping trip for her to pick out a couple of things for her room, maybe a fun pillow for her bed or a neat night light.  Also if the problem is her being scared at night, maybe use a baby monitor for a week or two and show her how it works to let her know that if she's scared all she has to do is ask for you and you'll be right there, so she's not really alone.  

On the other hand if you're okay with her coming in and spending the rest of the night with you, I wouldn't worry about it.  She won't be in your bed until she's 8, eventually kids want their own space and privacy and will transition on their own as long as they have their own bed available.  Parents who say if you don't do it now or they'll still be there when they're teenagers have never coslept, it doesn't usually last nearly that long by the child's choice.

Answer 6

Make a big deal about her big girl bed. Have her go to the store and pick out some bedding and such and then put her in bed, read a story and keep a night light in the room. Let her know shes a big girl in her big bed. If she gets up in the night bring her back in her room and comfort her for a min and keep putting her back even if she gets upset. It may take one night of hardly any sleep for all of you but it will work out in the end.

Answer 7

I let my kids sleep with me whenever they want ..dont worry about it its not like they wont want their own room eventually..I have no problem sleeping with my 9 yr old..my 24 yr old moved on LOL of course

Answer 8

It sounds like it's already a habit.  Tell her 4-year-olds sleep in their own beds.  You could consider telling her that if she goes a month without sleeping in your bed she can have that toy she wants.  If she comes in to sleep with her, just remind her of that toy and nudge her back toward her room.

And realize that you don't really do her any favors long-term by allowing her to sleep in your bed short-term.  Sometimes what's best for your child isn't what's easiest.  If she's upset or losing sleep, eventually she'll learn to cope.  She needs to learn to comfort herself.

Good luck!

Answer 9

I have 4 children. My first always slept in her own bed. after my 3rd was born i was nervous he would wake up my 2 year old and started pulling her in with me, my fault. She is 6 now and for the longest time loved to sleep under neath her daddy. What harm does it do? She is 6 now and sleeps all over the house wherever she falls and so do all the other kids. sometimes all in one room sometime in thier own bed. the world wont stop either way you want to do it. best thing trust your heart, and ask your doctor...

If my daughter told me she was scared I would not leave her in a room alone...I am a mommy...

Answer 10

You should have never started it at any age. All you can do is keep putting her back in her own bed when she comes to your bed. I don't think I would take any advice from your sister in law.