Should my 4 year old go to the birthday party?

Question

My daughter has been invited to a preschool classmate's birthday party. This particular little boy is rambunctious. He's really sweet to adults, but he just plays too rough for the girls in his class. He's quite a bit more rough than the other boys. Well, my daughter doesn't like him. She calls him "bad" and "mean". I know he isn't, at all. But he doesn't exactly want to play "princess" like she does.

So, should I make her go to the party? Or give her the choice? The class is mostly girls, and I'd feel terrible if hardly anyone showed up at the party. All the moms are a tight knit group because it's a co-op. I'm friends with the boy's mom.

What if my daughter goes and ends up yelling at him, calling him a Mean Head on his birthday?

thanks!

Answer 1

if she is your friend then you go. If he is mean and she does call him names then just remove her from the situation. Birthday or not he needs to behave and he needs to learn how to play with girls as well as boys. Let her go. She will be more upset if she finds everyone went but her

Answer 2

Kids are mean..if she wants to go let her. Leave it up to her and if he picks on her and she calls him mean so what ..he is. She needs to learn to stand up for herself.

Answer 3

I had a similar situtation with my daughter, I don't think you should make her go if she doesn't want to, try not to worry about what (if anything) the other parents would think, just send a birthday card to preschool instead.  Maybe your daughter will surprise you like mine did by choosing to go, must kids don't want to miss out on a party!

Answer 4

In my opinion..you should make her go. First you don't want to have a fight with the boys mom over something small that could have been prevented. Second, I am in high school, and I can not tell you how many times I wish my mom would have pushed me to make new friends, especially guy friends who will eventually grow up...it will become important later on. Thirdly, lay down the law..tell your daughter she is not allowed to say anything mean to the boy because it is his birthday, and then stick around and mingle with the other moms to make sure everything goes according to plan!

Answer 5

give her the choice chances are she will throw a fit if you make her go somewhere he doesnt want too

Answer 6

I think you should gently urge her to go but still leave the decision up to her.  It would be terrible if no other children showed up to the boys party.  

I agree about letting her pick out a present for him.  I think since you are friends with the boys mom you should still pick out a present for him even if you don't go.

Just ask your daughter how she would feel if she wanted someone at her birthday and they didn't come or if someone was mean to her on her birthday.

Good Luck.

Answer 7

I think that if you are friends with the boys mom you might be able to find out what is going to be planned for the birthday party. Sometimes there are activities for the kids so there would be no chance for him to play too rowdy with your daughter.  I also think that if your daughter doesn't want to go she shouldn't have to. If I tried to make my four year old go when she didn't want to then I could almost bet on her doing something naughty like telling everyone that she didn't want to come and I made her.

Answer 8

if you are experiencing so much stress that you have to post this question online, have your daughter make a nice card for the kid and spend quality time with her instead of going to the party.  parenthood really doesn't require this much work.

Answer 9

She doesn't like the kid, why should she go to his birthday party?  Why would YOU feel terrible if hardly anyone shows up at his party?  So what you would want to teach your child is that she HAS to attend every party she is invited to because you would feel terrible if no one shows up.   If, when she is say in high school and is invited to a "keg" party are you going to make her go because she was invited and you would feel bad if no one showed up?  Or would you rather she use her better judgement and not go to a party where alcohol will be consumed?  Your daughter seems to have more common sense than her mother.

Answer 10

I seriously think it should be her choice. She doesn't like the boy  for a reason. Don't force something on her she doesn't want to do. She might be mad cuz she was forced to go but she might take it out on the little boy.  

Answer 11

give her thr choice... never make them go to parties that tey dont want to

Answer 12

Explain that everyone wants to have fun on their birthday, and isn't it sweet that the boy wants your daughter there? Have her pick out a present on her own to give him, and then let the mom know when you get there that you have another commitment later, and only stay about an hour. And hey, if your daughter has a melt-down and yells at the boy, moms should know, kids will be kids! He'll get over being called a name by a girl, after all, don't they have cooties at that age??  :)

Answer 13

Sooner or later your daughter will have to learn nicer ways of dealing with people she may disagree with. I would have her go and be on her best behavior. Chances are, this boy will be in a good mood at his birthday party. If not, she can just play with the other little girls there.

Answer 14

Well in Mexico most parents go to the party with their kids so that would probably be the best idea. If you can´t and she doesn´t want to go then you probably shouldn´t make her or she might end up calling him that (haha) hope this helps.