Should my child have to share school supplies?

Question

My daughter started kindergarten yesterday. She is my last child of 4 and I am very excited for her. While I have struggled as a single mom for the first 13 years of parenthood, I am finally in a position where I can afford nice school supplies. I spent quite a bit extra so she could have some nicer things. When she came home today I was shocked to find that her take home folder was not one I purchased. Instead it is a cheap paper folder that is already tattered. I don't want to be selfish but at the same time I was not asked to share and no one asked for help for other students. I feel as though my daughter’s nice things were stolen from her.

Answer 1

No - it saddens me that socialism like this is forced upon our children - if community supplies are needed for a class - then the teacher should come out and ask - they no doubt will get supplies from eager parents (including myself) - but why would this be forced on a kid... the answer is simple most teachers belong to a union, and most unions are democrats/socialists - who won't let good honest people make decisions about how and where to spend their hard earned money and resources.

Answer 2

the same happened to my daughter and i confronted the teacher and told her that i wanted the items to be used by my daughter. she was kind of upset but i didn't really care, i bought her supplies and she would use them.

Answer 3

A lot of times teachers tell everyone to put everything into a big pile and then it gets split up. But I agree, I would be upset if I spent extra money for nice things and my child came home with something else.

Maybe it's selfish, but I would definitely tell my child not to put their things into the pile when asked and if the teacher had a problem with it, they could come to me.  

Answer 4

Ask the teacher, more than likely these are folders given to all the kids from the teacher for some other project. Just check with the teacher.  

Answer 5

some kids really cant afford it. as you said you had been in that position also.

besides a kid in kindergarten really doesnt know the difference and what you are teaching her by sending her something else is wrong.

schools have different policies and sometimes teachers do that for the less fortunate. really depending on where you live.

they should have informed you but...pick your battles really : /

Answer 6

Maybe the teacher used the take home folder for something else and every child has the same folder that is for take home things. I would ask her, there is no reason to feel selfish for making sure she still has all of her nice things, there could have been an accidental mix-up.  

Answer 7

My son's school supplies for the past three years have been for the entire class and not for him directly. It makes me angry because when you buy the nice things and find out your child is having to use crappy things or supplies not the quality you purchased is upsetting. I don't think there is a way to fix it. I also have to say be ready at the end of year to not see any of your unused supplies retruned to you!!

Answer 8

I had this problem when my eldest daughter went to kindergarten, All you really can do is talk to her teacher and try to sort these problems out. I know how you must feel but a other child may of taken it home because they thought it was nice and some of them don't know any better.

Good luck and take care

Answer 9

It's much easier in early grades (kindergarten, first and maybe even second) for many of the supplies to be put together in one place for certain activities. Imagine the chaos of "everyone find your red crayon" versus "everyone get a red crayon from the crayon bin". There is really no need to buy "nice" supplies for school until kids are older and use their own things. This is more an age/maturity issue than anything. My 1st grader is starting tomorrow and I didn't label anything. The school provides a take home folder and I'm sure she'll have everything she needs. Teachers of younger students usually set up stations for certain activities. The glue might be on this table, crayons on that, folders over there. I think as long as your child is in a great learning environment it shouldn't matter.  My older children don't share supplies because they're responsible enough to take care of their own things. This typically isn't the case with younger children. If you're that upset about a folder, talk to the teacher about it and find out what the process is. She might have your daughter using that specific folder for something to keep at school.  

Answer 10

I think that a lot of schools are moving to this method.  It can be shocking if you're not notified ahead of time that supplies will be divided between the children.  I, however, seem to be of a differing opinion than most of the other parents that have posted a response so far.

We're by no means well off.  My family isn't even middle class, we struggle.  A lot.  When I buy supplies I go by the list.  I do get everything on it.  The crayons I buy are Crayola, the glue is Elmers.  If my son is the one to use them that's great.  If he's not?  That's great too.  There are a lot of children who attend public school who show up without school supplies.  Or perhaps they show up without the complete list of school supplies.  I'm happy that I'm able to supply something that may help those children.  I teach my son that helping others who are less fortunate than we are is a GOOD thing.  And when the teacher sends home a list part way through the year asking for parents who are able to provide additional supplies I do that too.  More crayons?  Extra scissors?  Glue, garbage bags, yarn?  Done, done and done.  My son may not be the one to use them, but some child is, and that's enough for me.

Answer 11

Well, our kids classes are basically the same in the fact that the schools provide the same take home folders for each child. My kids got special folders but the take home folders are c**p. They just use those for art work they want to save. You might want to ask the teacher where her folder is, because she still wants to use it, even if she can't for take home stuff.

Next, put your child's name on EVERYTHING. I swear, you must do this. I put my kids names on tupperware that they pack for lunch, not kidding. There have been issues (not with my kids) but kids I know getting stuff stolen. The teachers can't do a thing if a name isn't on it. Even a box of crayons.

Kindergarten is a weird time. You will find a lot of things you disagree with in the schools practice. Most of it, you will come to accept. Some of it (like this) you will talk to the teacher and ask for supplies back. Some of it will be lesson learned. I suggest you make friends with the parents in PTO. If you have a concern and you let other parents in PTO know about, hopefully, they will back you in school meetings.

You might find out your daughter left her good supplies and folders and such in her school *cubby.* Take her to school tomorrow and ask. It will be a long year. I went through it twice with 2 kids. I know how frustrating it is at first.

Answer 12

When I was a kid the schools provided everything. I had to bring myself. Period.

As a parent when I buy my daughter school supplies I expect them to be for *her* to use. They are not community property and they are not donations for the classroom. She picks folders and other items that fit her personality and taste for the purpose of expressing her individuality. I would be highly perturbed if her teacher gave *her* stuff that I purchased (it belongs to my daughter, not to the teacher or the class) to other students.

But with those teachers who "redistribute" supplies, I have gotten to the point that I buy some of her stuff, like pencils, with her name embossed on them (they have them at WalMart in most common names, or you can get custom names online). Every box of crayons, every folder has her name prominently written or printed/embossed on it.

If there was a real problem and they wanted donations for the classroom I'd be happy to buy some plain, generic stuff in bulk at Costco for that purpose. Redistributing just to make sure that some kids' stuff isn't "nicer" or "fancier" than others is just wrong.

I'm just glad my youngest starts middle school next week. No more shared supplies. What is hers is hers and is kept in her locker or backpack.

Answer 13

My kids always had to have everything labeled, right down to each crayon and ziploc baggie.  Labeling took FOREVER, but they never lost their stuff or got it mixed up with someone else's.  Ask the teacher about it.  Say, "I was just wondering if I was supposed to label all of (Molly's) things because I noticed she brought home something I didn't buy".  

You might find out that it's too late to change it now and I'd be upset too but next time the teacher asks for something, go cheap.  

Answer 14

I would talk to the teacher.  Get your daughter's folder back, and print her name and phone number on it.  That way, you can avoid it getting stolen.

While we're on the subject, I had to buy school supplies for the teacher in addition to supplies for my son's personal use.  He does go to an independent (private) school, but I still didn't realize I had to purchase the teacher's materials - yikes!

Answer 15

You sound like me!

My son is now in third grade, but last year they gathered all of the school supplies the kids had brought, and then passed them back out(how STUPID!). Anyway. My kid comes home with his journal...not the one I bought, plus it has some other kid's name written on the back of it.

So this year, I made sure I labeled EVERYTHING with his name. And I swear, if he comes home with some other supplies other than what I myself bought him, the only thing I can say is I feel sorry for his teacher.

It's the dumbest thing I've ever witnessed...piling it all up just to give it back out to the wrong kid. Senseless.

A little trick I've learned though, is to send in what's on the list on the first day. Wait a few days before you send any little special things in...like my son wanted the little pencil grip things. I kept them at home and then stuck them in a little compartment on his backpack so only he would know where they were. Pretty sad I have to hide his stuff, but it beats someone else getting it for free.

Answer 16

I would call and ask her teacher about it. I am also single mom has well. My oldest son went through kindergarten last year. We put a folder in there but the teacher sent it back. She used those gallon storage bag to put his home work in and paper to bring home in. I notice end of the year last day of school he came home with his school supplies and it had his name on it. This year my oldest in first grade. I only got part of his school supplies waiting to get some more money. I wrote to his teacher saying sorry I get them soon has possible. She told me not to worry because she had extra school supplies and he has all he needs there. I would talk to her teacher to see want had happened.

Answer 17

Pretty much all the schools are now having parents provide supplies that is divided in the classroom.  I know I was a little upset too when i spent $60 for school supplies only to find out that most of it is to supply the actually classroom so all the kids use the stuff and they didn't know if my son would get any of the stuff.  The supply list had specific stuff down and it had to be that stuff so that there wouldn't be really a difference but my son picked out blue for the school supply box but of course you know the girls (or most of them) picked out pink or purple and some of the boys got red or green and my son really wants to be able to use the blue one.  That is just how the schools are now though, it saves them money so they have the parents bring in the supplies then they will use it in the classroom.  Not sure why your daughter would get a tattered folder though that part doesn't make any sense to me, I would think that all the students would have been required to bring in the same kind of folders.  

Answer 18

If there were certain things you did not want shared, I would have put my name on it.

When my first son started kindergarten last year and we received the "supply list", I was furious. When I went to school, supplies were provided. Now I understand school budgets, etc., but my superintendent gives himself a raise every year, yet we are on austerity budgets.  If it was something (like a smock) that I didn't want shared, I sent a note to school saying it was not to be used by anyone that didn't have my son's name and I'd be in to check.

I, too, find it very unfair that I bought decent supplies, thinking they were for him, only to find out that they were to be shared by children whose parents couldn't - or didn't - buy better things, and didn't understand why certain items (like scissors and smocks) weren't returned at the end of the year - and if you keep getting them every year, why do you need more from other kids?) So this year for both my boys, I bought them less sexpensive items for school and bought them nicer things for home, when we do homework or play school.

Answer 19

No, it's not right, it's Socialism.  I label all of my kid's things down to the last pencil because I know they hand them out to the kids whose parents didn't bother to buy them anything.  It makes me angry but there's nothing you can do about it.