Should my ex's mother be invited to the wedding?

Question

i knew my ex's mother before my ex. for years actually. we went to the same catholic church and we both work there. And my mother has known her for 30 years from the same church. 6/7 years ago i started dating her son. She considered me her daughter and we were very close and heavily involved in eachothers family. my ex and i broke up after 3 years. But me and his mother maintained our relationship. she still calls me her daughter. i see her 2wice a week. (not by choice) she talks to my mom occasionally. and shes always calling me and inviting me to go places with her or do her hair or fix something for her. Now she knows me and her son are never going to happen. esspecially since he's moved across the country a year and a half ago.

Now my fiance of 3 years are getting married and i dont know if i should inviite her to the wedding. Now she doesnt know im officially engaged. she sees him around and knows we are together. My fiance despises my ex. but i invite this woman to every event me or my family has and vice versa.

and i should mention, her friends are close friends of my family as well and will be involved and invited to the wedding as well as a great deal of people from the church. so she would be the only one not invited.

Im doing the guestlist then giving it to my fiance to look over. He will see her name on it, but probably not say anything even if he doesnt want her there. I dont know what to do. I dont really care if shes there or not. id probably like it better if she isnt there & she probably deep down wouldnt want to come either. but i dont want to seem 2 be rude/mean to her.

Answer 1

Yes you have knowen each other for a longtime..and if you have a bond why not?your ex has to evole and except your happyness.shame he cant be there to see you are with the 1 you want to be with... have a happy day and life with the 1 you want to be with.. take care..

Answer 2

Ask her if she wants an invitation.  Say 'I'm getting married soon, to [fiance], and I was wondering if you'd like to come to the wedding.  I totally understand if you'd find it too awkward though.'  It gives her an out if she doesn't want to go, but lets her know she wasn't ignored or forgotten.

Answer 3

Ex boyfriend's mother or Ex husband's mother? Ex husband, then no but ex boyfriend yes. But make sure you talk it over with the fiance first. Also, if she is a friend of your mothers, she may want her included in her list of invitees.

Answer 4

First, it sounds like you have a lot of good reasons for wanting to invite this lady to your wedding.  It seems clear to me that (for you) the fact that she is your ex's mother doesn't matter.

But for some reason, you are concerned that your fiance will not want her there.  It also sounds like you are reluctant to let your fiance know that she is your friend.  Are you just afraid that your fiance will not approve of your friendship with her?  Or do you actually know that he has a problem with her?

Either way, it seems to me that it would me smart to talk with your fiance about this.  Find out for sure whether he has a problem with her.  If so, work out together what to do about it.

Answer 5

This woman has been an important part of your life and a close friend for a long time, you should invite her.  I would tell your fiance, not have him find out by looking at the list and seeing it there.  If he has objections, he needs to be a big boy and speak up, if he doesn't don't worry about it, he should have said something.  If he does have objections, explain how close to her you are and how it has nothing to do with your ex.  He can't pick your friends.

Answer 6

A friend for years?  You enjoy each other's company?  Your idea of friendship is showing.  Do invite her. It is

her decision as to whether she will attend or not. OR you shoud have a sit-down...honesty would be best, let her know you would be uncomfortable...how would she feel? If you do not invite her you risk the richness of a friendship that has endured for many years.

Answer 7

You said your fiance hates your ex, but does he hate your ex's mother? Keep in mind that this is his wedding too; you wouldn't want him to invite someone you hate! That said, I have another question. Do you like your ex's mom? It's clear that she's very fond of you, and I am sure she would be very upset if she weren't invited. If you want her out of your life, then don't invite her and she will probably take the hint. But if you are as close as you say you are, then it shouldn't matter who her son is as long as he doesn't come to the wedding.

Answer 8

Yes I would invite her.  You will definetly hurt her feelings if you don't.  

Answer 9

If you and she have a close relationship then yes of course invite her.

Just as I am going to invite YOU to use capitals letters, and some punctuation so you sound like an adult. As opposed to a child who can't be bothered to write properly.

Answer 10

Invite his mom and don't worry about it. She isn't her son and if you have maintained a relationship with her where you are inviting each other to family functions then invite her to your wedding.  

Answer 11

yeah if she wants to come or if u still get along with her:)

Answer 12

If you have a relationship with her yet, then ask her how she feels about the situation. She sounds like a fine lady and it would be very mature of you to discuss the situation with her. Maybe she will opt to stay home, but at least that would be her choice. And your fiance really shouldn't feel threatened by an older woman that has been involved in your family for years. If you had not been with her son...would she be invited to the wedding? Remember, she is not her son and should not be held responsible for anything he did or did not do. Tough decision, but not the biggest decision you will ever have to make in a relationship. Talk with her, it will certainly clarify everything instead of wondering/guessing what any reactions would be. Good luck!

Answer 13

Normally it wouldn´t be a good idea to invite your ex´s mother. But since your families are so intertwined, she would probably be very offended if not invited. If you explain the situation to your fianceé, and he agrees, then the problem is solved. Since you say he can´t stand your ex, you have to make it very clear to your fianceé that you would only be inviting her so as not to offend her, etc. I think he will understand such a decision, and she will be spared the embarassment of not being invited.  

Answer 14

If she's still your friend, then yes.

Answer 15

You need to discuss this with your fiance. He is going to be your husband. He has to approve. On the other hand.. this is not your ex who would be invited to the wedding but his mother, which should not really bother him... it may bother her also to see you walking down the aisle with someone else.. the most important person is your future husband whom you should discuss this with and mention to him that you knew this woman long before you knew your ex and that she is a friend of your mom's... if then he still has misgivings.. let it go.. if he says.. ok the mom can come you still have to ask your ex's mom if she wants to come to your wedding.. then you have done the appropriate thing.. but you should not put her name on the guest list without consulting with your fiance.. all guests should be approved by the two of you... xx

Answer 16

u can invite her long as ur ex isn't there