Should my husband and I be together?

Question

We have had tons of problems, and really, I feel like he is immature. He always wants to spend time with his friends (drink, hangout, play video games) and I have been wanting him to grow up. I know you cant change a person, so I told him to get out. I have faith that God will change him, and I am afraid that I am interveining with God's plan. I love him to death and I want to be with him so bad, but I really am stuck. He does not always treat me with kindness. When he does not get his way he is destructive and he yells. Usually I ignore him, but I just do not want to put up with it! He does not see how important I am. He makes promises to do things for me, but he often reverts to his old ways within a week. As a christian wife, am I suppose to stay and deal and allow God to work on him, or do I make him stay away until he has changed?

Answer 1

Trying to change the person you are with is not a healthy relationship.  IF you love him, then you will love him for who he is.  Not for who you want him to be.

Answer 2

Any time you have to ask the general public this question, the answer is no, you shouldn't be together.

Answer 3

You can't change someone.  They have to want to change and it's not something that they can be bullied into.  You don't say how old he is, but he seems like a young guy and the stuff you mention is typical of a young man. You can either accept him how he is (because I'm sure you want him to accept you, how you are)  or leave him.  You can't hope that he'll become a better person.  I would recommend going to some marital counseling (they offer it through your church a lot of times) and work on your communication skills.

Answer 4

show him whos the boss once in a while... also if u truely love him you should stay maried.

Answer 5

would god want you to stay with this fool?  Good christian wife married to LOSER!  He is what he is and yes you can wait for god to change him but I wouldn't hold my breathe!!!

Answer 6

alittle to late for that honey. you should have thought of this before

Answer 7

you walk away ...If he wants to fix things he will ... if he don't ..then yes ...Gods plan ...takes effect!

Answer 8

I admire your faith...and I share it.

But God is already at work on him. He's sent you.

So I believe you're going to have to get your husband to grow up a little. As a Christian, you made a commitment. It's time to live up to that commitment.

I would talk this out with your pastor/minister/father/reverend and see if there is a couple's counseling course through the church. Perhaps even you will be counseled by the pastor himself.

I'm not sure why you married this man, but you should give it 100% before you let it go.

And for now....no kids. Just wait a while before bringing kids into this mess if you can help it.

Answer 9

Sometimes we grow past people if they are not willing to grow to , it is all you can do to go . regardless of how these guys have been raised it should be a 50/50 thing , they just think they can move out and get someone to mom them forever . We eventually need better than that  

Answer 10

thats a good one. my advice to you is, chances are if you have to ask us if yall need to be together than probably not. Sometime you have to love a person from a distance. Now I kno its easier said than done, but it can be done. I know you love him and all that but you came into this world by yourself so you'll be okay if you do decide to make him stay away until he gets himself together.  

Answer 11

You sound miserable. have you been putting your self through this?

Leave him!! gosh!!

Every female derserve better!!

let him and leave him. you can change him. he is probably cheacting on you too, cuz it does not sound like he cares too much.

you will find happyness somewhere else, dnt let love drives you blind!!

Answer 12

No !

Answer 13

You know, God does not want you to be in an abusive situation. Now, he is apparently not hitting you, but don't you consider this abuse? Mental abuse is sometimes harder on one than physical. I am proud that you made the decision to let him go and move on with your life. God cannot send the lifeline unless your husband wants to reach for it. Your prayers and steadfastness will do more for your hubby than letting him continue in his ways. He will not grow up if you let him continue with this behavior in your home. God loves you and he wants you to respect yourself as well as look on him with your faith. End your prayers with thy will be done. Because what we want and what God has planned for our lives may be very well two different things....God Bless and keep you in your time of need