Should my husband help pay for our vacation?

Question

My hubby and I have been married 3 years, and we keep all our money seperate. I have my own account and he has his. He makes more money than me, but he blows all his money on video games and electronics and guitars, etc. I tend to save my money. So I have more money in my account than he does in his, even though he makes more than me at his job.

Anyway.. my question is, we want to go on a cruise this fall, but he says he doens't have enough money to pay for his half. I technically do have enough money to pay for both of us, but I kind of think it's unfair that he doesn't pay for his half just because he decides to blow all his money on video games, etc.

What do you think, should I insist he pay his half, or should I just suck it up and pay for the whole thing?

Answer 1

That's always such a tough decision, when it has been half on everything all along.  And he is definitely not thinking of anyone but himself when he is out buying all these toys for himself.  So I find it kind of hard to say you should pay for both, I think you shouldn't be responsible to save for both.  Maybe you should planned ahead and he should have given you money every time he got paid, by now you would probably have enough for the cruise, without you paying up out of YOUR savings. It's not fair!!

Can you wait till next year? make him save up his half.

Answer 2

Seperate money , thats just not practical. The whole idea of being married is being a partnership. Do things together, own things together. What happens if you have kids and you take maternity leave, will he pay for your personal things then. Hope you get these issues sorted out before that happens. As for the cruise thats the least of your worries IMHO.

Answer 3

ummm...in a marrige, you dont keep things seperate. you pay for some stuff, he pays too. if you want the cruise, then pay. if not, then dont. simple as that!!

Answer 4

No way!!  I would tell him that you have booked passage on this crews and you would love it if you could find a way to join you.   He will always act this way if you allow him to.

Answer 5

start with him giving you $100 a week to help pay for it and then tell him the spending money will be his responsibility. if he cant afford it then tell him that you understand its not that important to him ,so youll ask you mom or sister or friend to go.that might change his mind.and then if he really wants to go he wont think you should pay and he will come up with the money. im sure he has some in his savings.

Answer 6

Did you not say you was married.  How long???  By know you should know he has different standards then you do..  He likes his games you like to go on trips and save your money???  Does he pay his part of the bills?  I would say it is totally up to you but it sounds to me like you want the trip more then him so you might just have to suck it up...  

If you find yourself paying the bills and him not helping he needs to get the h**l out....

Answer 7

At first I was like Id leave his butt at home to teach him a lesson but then I got to thinking. If it was him going and you didnt have half of your money, wouldnt you hope that he would be willing to pay your half. I would ask him to help with what he could though. It may not be half but it every little bit will help

Answer 8

As a husband he's normally looked at as the provider and I am sure if he had it he would pay for the both of you. It's kinda funny that you guys have separate monies, I mean I know a couple of other couples that have this arrangement and actually they are not together anymore cuz the separate money issue was a big issue.  

Answer 9

You have a strange situation.  Most couples share responsibilities even if they have separate accounts.  He needs to get with the program and help you out!  A serious confrontation is what you need to do.  He is undermining the whole point of being married and might as well be a friend living with you.  Good luck

Answer 10

Ill let you in on a little secret ............there is no 'mine and yours' when you are married. Once you tie the knot , it all becomes ....OURS.

Your marriage will be doomed for failure if you keeps things such as money separate.

I'm not saying that you should not have things of your own, but money is right up there at the top of the list when it comes to marital arguments.

Answer 11

You can pay for it yourself unless it's always you who pay for the family stuff and he spends all his money on his personal stuff.

Why don't you create a joint account where you put aside money for family needs and also keep your separate accounts?

Answer 12

I'm sorry, how odd.  Seperate money??  Ok, anyway, if you want to go on vacation and he can't go because he can't afford it, if you want to go with him, you will have to pay.

I don't think you can complain about how he spends his money if you two keep seperate money and it isn't joint.

JMO.