Should my parents still be talking to my brother?

Question

I, now 21 recently let my parents know about my brother molesting me when i was eight and he was 13 and it lasted for a few years,anyways should they still talk to him and let him in their home or is that part of unconditional love?

Answer 1

Yes it is.  They are his parents and he is their son.  I would think this situation is very painful for everyone involved.  The fact that they do not cut contact with him does not mean that they do not believe you or feel for you too.  You have lived with this for years but you say you just recently told your parents, perhaps they feel guilt and feel they somehow failed with your brother and are not turning their backs on him now.

I can see how you might feel, can you see how they might feel?  You are their child  and so is he.  Where does that leave them?

Answer 2

No matter what any of my children do I will always talk to them and still love them.  Thats what most parents do.  It's hard to push a child away.   I agree that you all need to go to counsling.  You need to bring this out in the open and address what happened to you.

I know what your going thru my father molested me  when i was about 6.  Its something you will never get over and will always remember.  If you don't want to talk to your brother then I don't blame you.  But you do need to talk to someone about it so you can try to move on in life.

good luck

Answer 3

It was 13 years ago and he was 13 years old. So he is 26 now. Is he the same person he was then? I wouldn't consider him a predator at 13. I don't think this is the first time in history that a brother and sister messed around when they were young (experimentally).Why don't you ask him why? If he says "I was young and stupid and I didn't know it would impact you that way" forgive him or if he says  "I like little girls and I sit outside the playground every afternoon and I'll rape if were alone". Never speak to him again and get a restraining order. I doubt its the later.

Everybody's a victim now days.........

Answer 4

Yes your brother should be allowed in your home, but you should never be alone with him again, all of you should be getting counseling. he is still their child and your brother no matter how wrong he was.

Answer 5

Yeah. It sucks. But it is. As the victim you may have more leeway than your parents in terms of not talking to him or being near to him. Don't take it out on them, though perhaps they should have known something was wrong.