Should my sis give her child up for adoption?

Question

MY SISTER JUST HAD A BABY ABOUT A MONTH AGO AND SHES ONLY 14. MY PARENTS DONT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE BABY SO SHES TAKING CARE OF IT ON HER OWN, SHES BOROWING MONEY FROM FRIENDS. SHE CANT GET A GOOD JOB CUS SHES ONLY 14 AND IS IN 9TH GRADE. I BABYSIT SOMETIMES BUT I HAVE SCHOOL AND HOMEWORK. SHOULD SHE GIVE UP HER MONTH OLD BABY ALYSSA?? =(

Answer 1

Wow!  This is a hard decision.   I'm assuming the father of the babe doesn't what any thing to do with her and the babe??   If she isn't going to be able to really take care of the babe well I would have to consider it.  But what about anybody else in the family like aunts, uncles, cousins???  My heart goes out for her and the babe.  And wow.   You are an excellent sister.   If she really wants to keep her she has to find out a way to support the child and make sure she gets every thing that she needs.   But hey I just thought of something.   There are programs that will help out the family or what ever but its for the people that don't have much money.   I think it might be called a head start.   But trust me there is a program that I would suggests looking into.  She would have to drop the babe off there for the amount of hours and all go to school try to get as much money as possible to take care of the babe.   But look for what that program is call we went over it in my child development class.   Sorry that I can't think of it but I do hope that information helps you a little bit.   But please do allot more researching then this.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Head_Start

I hope this helps.    I really wish the best of luck and hope that every thing comes out good in this situation.

Answer 2

it,s better for the baby to be in a blood family like an annt or uncal but if no one can take care of it then it,s better to give it up for a doption, jest becareful of how gets the child because i was adopted and i ended up abused.

Answer 3

That would be up to your sister. If she does like the idea, maybe Open Adoptions is a good choice for her. Like the agency called Adoptions from the heart (look it up online) We just adopted our baby from there. The good thing is that she can choose for an open adoption. That means that the people that adopt stay in contact with her, and she can see the baby twice a year (that can be different) If she doesn't want to have her baby adopted, then that's a good choice too. That means she is willing to grown up much faster then any other 14 year old. Maybe you can help her find some help besides you. Go to a counsler at school, they always can find people that can help her out. There is help out there just help her find it. After all she is just a child herself, and you are apparently the only one she has got.

Answer 4

your sister would be making the ultimate sacrifice by giving her baby up for adoption.  it is a gift that not many women can claim to have given or received.  she is an admirable and smart girl.  you can be honored to have her in your family!

Answer 5

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

UNLESS SHE CANT MAINTAIN HIM,

Answer 6

Since she loves Alyssa, she should consider open adoption. It is the ultimate sacrifice and she cannot be selfish. It will be hard for her and for you, but you know what, I had only myself and my adoption worker/counselor for support when I decided to give my daughter up for adoption. Your parents, I can't describe the anger I have for that kind of treatment to a young mother and their own grandchild. Your parents should not be the basis for your sister giving Alyssa up for adoption. The emphasis should be for the love of that baby. She does deserve a good life, right? With all kinds of opportunities, that your sis won't be able to provide, because she'll always be ten steps behind. Your sister also deserves a chance to grow up and experience life, not be tied down with enough stuff that most 30 year olds can't even handle.

For the love of Alyssa, ok. tell your sis I said that. Email me if you want, or is she wants to. send it to me,my real name is Heather.

Answer 7

Your sister shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place.  Now she has ruined her life.  She should put the child up for adoption and grow up before she has any more unwanted children.

Answer 8

What's wrong with your parents!!  THey are after all the GRANDPARENTS!  They will regret this dearly in the future.  Why should the baby suffer and not have a relationship with the grandparents because they can't get over their child having a baby at a ypung age.  Talk to them!  Instill some common sense into them.  They are acting very immaturely.  You are actingmore mature and helpful than they are, they should learn from YOU.

Answer 9

I don't know. It depends on how willing your sister is to take care of the baby. To me it sounds like she is struggling, but she wants to do it.

I think before your sister decides on adoption, she needs to make an informed choice. There are many programs that can help her out, especially if your parents aren't.

If you would like, I could find you a list of places to contact for financial, medical, and emotional support for your sister.

I am very interested in this, I would love to help. If you could email me your state and possibly city, I will do all I can to find out all of the options for you.

Best of luck!

Answer 10

Your sister needs to decide this for herself.  I find it very sad for your parents that they are not willing to help her.

If your sister wants to keep her child, she should go sign up for Foodstamps and WIC to help her feed herself and her child.

Answer 11

she should contact her local social services and explain her situation. They will get her into counseling to help her make the decision to keep it or give it up. And they will offer her some assistance with daycare and parenting classes. And if needed, offer her foster care for her and her child with a family that would be supportive and help mentor her to be a good Mom. Either way, her and the child will benefit. If she believes adoption is the answer, that is a wonderful, very unselfish thing to do.

Answer 12

As difficult as it is to say, I really feel that she should consider adoption for her daughter.  She could specify that she would like an open or semi-open adoption, that way she can still have a preset amount of contact and know how her girl is.

Of course it is possible for teens to parent, many do it.  However, without support from the Father, or the Grandparents of the child, not having any income and being very young, it seems like she is going to have an extremely difficult time, not only her but Alyssa too.

Best wishes and I hope everything works out well.  Jenny

Answer 13

That is something that your sister really needs to decide on her own.

But if you want to know what I think she should do. I would say that they baby would be better off in the long run if she was to give the baby up. Since she doesn't have the help from your parents it going to make things all the much harder as time goes on. I wish her the best of luck with whatever she decied to do.

Answer 14

Where is she living? Your parents are responsible for her until she is 18 years old, baby or no baby. Contact social services and let them know the situation.

Answer 15

Only if she wants to do the very best thing for her child.  Then, yes!  

Have her call an adoption agency for phone counseling.  If you need a referral to an ethical one, you can email me through my profile.  I'm glad you care about her!

Answer 16

sounds like she doesn't havea good support group (besides you) and she can't provide for this baby financially either. She should consider an open adoption! There are many loving parents out there trying to find children when they cant have their own. Yes I think your sister being so young should consider adoption. It will be hard but it will be the best thing for the baby in the long run. Good luck to her!

Answer 17

YES!!!  There loads of people who can give your sis baby a loving home

Answer 18

its is her sacrifice and also it is her own decision. but sometimes when you do give up a child you do it for there good and can help them later instead of having a  young adult mother and be raised right. not to be mean or anything.also she could go back to school and not worry about money so much and so on. As i said before it is mostly her decision and she knows what is best for both of them. i hope you all good luck though with her decision.

always,

Kristine

Answer 19

yes and she should not be having s*x at this young age.she doesn't want this to happen again.she needs to stay in school and get a good education.it is not her mom or dads job to raise her baby that she is too young to have.she must get on birth control and always use a condom too if she is going to keep having s*x.but i really wish she would not..babys cost a lot of money and are a lot of work your friend needs to grow up first.good luck.

Answer 20

Hmmm, she should. But she also needs to learn from her actions. She shouldn't have had s*x in the first place, but at least she should've practiced safe s*x. I think you should give it to your grandma or a relative who lives nearby. I she can take care of it but can take ownership of when she has matured.

Answer 21

I agree with many of the answers that she should contact social services and start there. At 14 she should be concerned with school, and herself, not a young baby. I am personally appalled (perhaps spelled wrong) that your parents seemed to have just left your sister, high and dry. She only has you for support, and you still have school yourself. Personally, I think it would be in the best interest of the child to be adopted (maybe an open adoption, if that it what is deemed best). Counseling may be in her best interest for some time, in order to deal with the loss of her child, but in time she will see that it is the best decision for her, and her baby. I wish you, her, and the baby, all the best.

Answer 22

yes she probably should ... and your parents shouldn't be parents either ... how can a 14 yr old girl get pregnant and they do nothing about this.  yes your sister should have a child hood and she should look into adoption & then counseling for herself ... your parents should be helping her out since this partly their fault.

Answer 23

She should only give the child up if she wants to or feels she needs to for the child's sake.  It is not up to you or your parents or others to decide that unless the baby's healthy or well-being is at stake.  If you feel she should consider the option, then talk to her and tell her how you feel and why you think it is a good route for her to take.  Discuss the various options for adoptions (such as open adoption).

Answer 24

This is a personal decision that only your sister can make.  But first, she needs someone to talk to.  There are programs out there to help young mothers and children.  It is important that she is receiving the help that she needs to care for this child.  If she does decide to make an adoption plan for her child, she will need a lot of support as well.  Is there anyone she can talk to such as a guidance counselor or teacher since your parents are not supportive?

Answer 25

It would probably be a good idea, yeah. At 14, she simply can't raise a kid, especially if her parents don't want to help her. And don't forget, she needs to go to school AND her friends will want their money back eventually. How's she gonna pay it back if she isn't educated enough to get a job? I think it's awful that your parents won't help, though. They'll regret it soon, because your sister won't trust them anymore, and may not even want to see them when she grows up. If your kid is in trouble, you don't get all mad and hurt and leave her to deal alone. You suck up your pride and help!

Answer 26

Hmmm, she should. But she also needs to learn from her actions.

Answer 27

Whether she decides to place the baby for adoption or not, she needs to contact social services right away. She definetly needs help and it is unfair and unreasonable for your parents to expect her to care for her child and herself at such a young age.

Answer 28

that's a hard one to answer ....

IF I WAS IN YOUR SHOE I WOULD HELP OUT. CHILDREN ARE BLESSINGS, THEY ARE THE FUTURE. I WOULD'NT WANT ANYONE ELSE TO ADOPT MY NIECE/NEPHEW OR HAVE MY SIBLINGS GIVE THEIR CHILD UP FOR ADOPTION.IF YOUR SISTER IS HAVING DIFFICULTIES FINDING A JOB MAYBE YOU CAN HELP HER ON THIS. HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDER HOME-OFFICE BASED OPPORTUNITY? MAYBE IT WOULD HELP. JUST LET ME KNOW ....

RAISING A CHILD IS HARD WORK BUT ITS A BLESSING.

Answer 29

Have your sister contact Social Services as she needs an advocate.  Your parents don't have a choice. The costs associated with her baby are now your parents costs until she is 18. It is no different than if she had an accident and they now have to pay to help her buy special equipment for a disability.  Your sister is inexperienced both at life and caring for a baby. Give her all the support you can!

A tip for you. Your parents suck as parents. Don't count on them to be supportive of you in future either.  I don't have a lot of respect for people who throw away their grandchildren because they are an embarrassment or inconvenience.

Answer 30

I’d have to say yes I know it may be hard. But she doesn’t seem to have much support, there is only so  much cash  her friends can give her assuming they  are in her age bracket and also don’t have jobs. Where is the baby’s father and his family? Perhaps they would be willing to help her out. If not adoption would be the kindness thing if she can’t provide for the baby. Of course it still important for her to get her education very difficult if she does not have a core support group. She could even do an open adoption if she wanted  or a kinadoption where she has a family member adopt the child.

Its too bad your parents are not supportive and dont want to have anything to do with this innocent soul whom did not ask to be conceived.

Answer 31

can you please email me at [e-mail]