Should my wife be doing more?

Question

My wife is 7months pregnant with our first child (a boy!) In March we decided that she should get out of the military(she had been in the army for two yrs) to be a stay at home mom. In the begining she used to cook at least 3 nights a week and clean. Now the cooking is none existed. She still cleans but all she does during the day is watch TV. I try to get her to go out more but she's always complaining about how her feet are swollen and her back hurts and she's tried. She even got mad at me the other day because i had just come out of the field and i wanted her to walk with me to my office and watch me work. To be honest i have noticed that her feet and hands are swollen and that she doesnt sleep at all (the baby is very active) but i still feel like she should be doing more? am i being selfish?

Answer 1

Give her a break.  She's pregnant, retaining water, sleep-deprived, hormonal, exhausted, and the heat of summer is kicking in.

Answer 2

uh yea, your a jerk. i think YOU should be doin more. if you noticed her feet are swollen give her a foot massage or a back rub. all i know that if i was pregnant i would certainly want a better partner than that! come on you are being selfish

Answer 3

a little bit. went i was pregnant I was really lazy too. I like to sleep and rest. the thing is you never know, women who are pregnant, they have very bad temper. sometime they don't even knows it. don't take it by heart if she scream at you. the swelling feet really are alot of pressure. it wil not feel good standing on her feet. It 's the change for you to take care of her. messaging her back will help alot. try using ice packs for her swelling feet.

Answer 4

Wow im so glad to have my partner. He wakes up every morning to get our son breakfast, cleans the house, cooks dinner, walks to the shop if we need anything. If he can see im tired he will make sure I sit down and he will take over from what I was doing. Some woman don't take being pregnant well. Our bodies take a beating! You should be letting her rest.

Answer 5

Expect her to be even more irritable, do what my hubby used to do to me throw me some donuts and run lol. Pregnancy is hard and i am sorry men will never understand.

Answer 6

Some women start nesting later in pregnancy to prepare for the baby, and others get too tired to do anything but lay around.  At 7 months (ecxpecially in the later weeks of 7 months), you get heavy, hot all the time, and just want to relax before the baby (who will be up all night and day) arrives.  My first pregnancy, all I did was clean and cook becasue I had so much nervous energy.  But my last pregnancy, after 7 months, all I did was sleep.

If she normally cooks and cleans, then that tells you that she isn't lazy--just tired because of the pregnancy.  Talk to her about it, don't yell, though.

Answer 7

She's pregnant , you should be the one who helps and understands her, you should do more. Give her a nice massage, rub her feet, she's carrying your child, she should rest while she can before the baby comes.

Answer 8

yes you are selfish

or a troll

one or the other

Answer 9

Try to be understanding, pregnancy is absolutely exhausting and toward the end uncomfortable.  I'm sure she is doing as much as she can.

Answer 10

Take it easy on her.  At 7 months I wasn't cooking either and we have two other kids.  We began eating out a lot, lol.  It wasn't from being tired or lazy but more because the handling of raw food or smelling the food while it cooked made me ill.  As far as the swelling, for me personally, if I walk or do a whole lot on my feet my ankles swell huge.  So I try really hard to stay off my feet right now.  I am two weeks away from delivery and I can't do a darn thing.  With my first two I could but this baby, also a boy, is just huge.  I can't sit, stand, walk, bend over to pick up toys, I can't do anything without being uncomfortable.... and I mean in pain kind of uncomfy.  The only way I am comfy is to lay on our bed on my side and stretch out as much as possible to give him as much room as he needs where he isn't kicking my lungs, trying to expand to the space on top of my ribs, or sitting low pinching nerves that make you want to pass out.  But, laying down too long gives me headaches and I also have a family to run.  I am just saying that her complaints are totally valid and it really gets frustrating when my hubby gets this attitude like I am making things up when he can move freely and do what he wants, ie walk or work, tie his own shoes or whatever.

The best thing you could do is to rub her back and feet, help clean house and just for now take over the dinner making.  If she was in the military for two years, those habits wont die.  In fact it is probably driving her nuts not to be active right now.  Being a mom is a very selfless job... and that only gets moreso as time goes on.  This quite literally will be one of the only times where it is about her.  Dote on her now and let her know that she can let go a little and relax.  In a few months she won't be getting any sleep, her eating routine will be way off and she will probably only have just enough energy to kiss you good night and nothing else by the end of the day.  

Congrats on your lil guy!!!  They are too cool!!  I hope this helped some...   :)

Answer 11

Exercise would be good for her as long as it is not too strenuous.  She will feel better if she gets out.  If she is sitting at home in front of the television without coping with the regular regimen of cooking and cleaning and preparing for the baby, she may be depressed.  After the baby is born, she will be even more sleep deprived and will have even more chores that need to be done on a daily basis.  Speak to a counsellor to uncover what the problem is.  Being a stay-at-home mom may not be the answer for her.

Answer 12

Yes, you are. Sorry, but how would you feel if you had a human being inside your tummy for 9 months? Pregnancy will be rough on both of you. Cut her some slack, she's in bodily h**l right now.

Answer 13

leave her alone. she is the best juge at this time. if she does not want to walk then let it be.