Should one withhold one's anger in front of his or her children?

Question

The anger cannot be related to the spouse or the children themselves.

Answer 1

no, you should feel free to express your anger in healthy ways in front of your children.  This will help them learn how to express their anger in a healthy way.  If you are always hiding anger they will not know how to deal with their own feelings of anger and will think something is wrong with them.  

This does not mean, yelling, screaming, hitting, swearing profusely and other extreme reactions.

Answer 2

Yes, absolutely...you will fail from time to time, be strong and learn to control...

Answer 3

I think it's  good to let children know that it's normal to get angry, as long as the parent models appropriate ways to handle it.  Of course, not all situations would be appropriate for discussion in front of children.  But if it's something that could be discussed around the dinner table, we should by all means show our kids how to manage anger.  

For instance, a parent might say, "I was angry with my boss today, because she messed up the schedule and now I have to work on Saturday, when I had asked off."   The message is that other people make mistakes, and sometimes we get angry.  Then the parent can go on to show the child how to handle that.  Did she yell at the boss? DId she hit her?  Did she quit her job?  Of course not - she'd very likely say, "I talked to the boss and told her there may have been a mistake, but that I might be able to work Saturday if I could have the whole weekend off next time."  The child learns that the best response was to stay calm and negotiate.  

Children need to know that emotions such as anger are normal and to be expected.  What's important is what we do with them.

Answer 4

Although its totally normal at times to show anger towards something making you angry, as in something simple children can understand like grr.. we are outta milk and i really wanted some.. things like that are okay because i would want them to express themselves as well. With being angry at hubby or friends like arguments and stuff like that where anger can make you a freak outta nature should be kept away from children it will only upset them and confuse them.. they wont understand and you don't want them to be afraid of anyone.  

Answer 5

Well your kids shouldn't be exposed to such behavior. If you must scream in order to vent, scream in a pillow. Now if it's anger towards the spouse, never fight in front of the children.  

Answer 6

I don't think so. I think its important for children to see emotions and to know that expressing them in a healthy way is okay. Anger should be controlled, no one should go on a screaming rampage or something in front of their children if they can help it ( really if they cant help it too...but no one is perfect all the time) But if you become angry I think its okay to say something like " I am feeling really angry right now and I need a few minutes to myself to calm down before I talk to you." If you get angry with a stranger, control the anger and handle the situation in a calm and collected manner. Anger should be controlled in other situations too, like if someone takes the parking spot you had been waiting for, I think cursing at them in front of a child would be inappropriate, but there is nothing wrong with saying " well that was really rude" So I do think in most situations anger should be controlled in front of children, but not withheld.  

Answer 7

yes. anger only upsets your children. remove yourself from the situation, calm down, and then return.

why would you want your kids to think of you/ remember you as angry?

at the same time, your only human. a very rare situation is an entirely different matter. by rare... i mean 2-4 times a year.  

Answer 8

Yes, they should. Anger management is an important skill that we should teach our children. How we cope with our anger is passed on to our children.

Answer 9

Kids know when things are wrong, but just don't understand. I think if you are that angry you should tell them and why, but only in terms the children can understand that way your kids don't get scared or upset because their parent or caregiver is acting out of character.  

Answer 10

Yes.

Your anger is not their responsibility, and you should not make it their responsibility.  It will only upset them, or make them think they did something wrong to cause you anger.  

It's not fair to them, at all.

Answer 11

You should try your hardest not to lose your temper in front of your children.  Its our job as parents to lead by example.  We wouldn't want them losing their tempers, so we need to try our best not to lose ours.  We're human though and it happens.

*In that case, no, I don't believe in completely sheltering a child from the emotion of anger.  My children often get angry about something and I encourage them to talk about it.  Anger is just an emotion that naturally happens in certain situations.  It needs to be controlled, but it doesn't need to be completely withheld.

Answer 12

Specially for your children's sake do not stuff it in, but rather show them positive ways of dealing with it! Like "Mommy is a little frustrated, I am gonna shoot some hoops or take a walk." THey need to know it is OK to be angry sometimes, but that there are healthy ways of dealing with that!