Should parents spend about equal amounts on their kids for birthdays?

Question

If one kid gets 120$ for their birthday, and the other childs birthday is 1 month later, should the parents try to spend around the same amount on the second child?

My birthday was in july and I got 120$ from my father and step mother to spend on what I wanted (My dad usually buys me gift/s that I want but this year he even admitted that he forgot and didnt have time to go out and get anything -_-) My younger sister's birthday is in september and of course they remembered hers and I found out theyre going to be spending around 400$ on her. Im a bit peeved, I know its not about the money or anything but... I have alot of hatred twords my step sister and step mother for various things. Especially the fact that I do alot to help out around the house and baby sit almost all day every day (and never even get a thank you) bugs me alot. She sits around, plays video games, and doesnt do any chores but clean her room after she's been told to 5 times and she gets treated like a queen. bah sorry to rant Im just so stressed. I know alot of people are going to say 'talk to your parents' but Ive tried and I always get yelled at or called selfish. I never used to be like this until after they got married and everything changed. Anyway... Should parents spend hugely different amounts on their kids for birthdays?

Answer 1

they should spend the same but they also need to do it based on the Kids age.

Answer 2

YES THEY SHOULD.  THEY GAVE YOU 120 THEY SHOULD GIVE YOUR SISTER 120.

Answer 3

I raised four sonz I always tried to balance there gifts and two of them had birthdays weeks apart. Christmas same thing balance. Your situation is different. Your dealing with steps. Its hard to justify why this is happening as you say. Nope talking didnt help and you got screamed at. Somethings wrong. You need one on one with Your Dad and discuss your issues with him without having to feel like your being petty or jealous. I believe in being fair. My youngest is 17 he will b 18 this month he now has a stepfather who is the same way. Also depending on ages makes a factor towards gift giving in some cases. If your of working age and your step is not or your many yrs older. They may feel the older you get the less gifts or $$ are spent on you. I spent the same amount on all the boyz til they were the age of 18. I felt I was responsible for there happiness and treating them all fairly. The age of 18 says by law you are old enough to be out in the world and make your way. When my kidz hit 18. The buck stopped here. Others are different in there approach on Christmas and Birthdays, just my opinion... My gifts and Christmas's on spending have decreased for the boyz they have other lives except the one still at home.

Answer 4

This obviously runs deeper than money for a birthday.  

However, I think spending that kind of money on any child's birthday (unless you got it like that) is a bit excessive.  I try to treat all my children the same, which also means...I TRY to buy items that are comparably equal.  That is not always possible due to age differences and preferences.  Even during Christmas time I TRY to buy equal number of toys or items for each child.  However, my older boys now want more expensive things, whereas with my younger son, I can buy more because his items usually cost less.  What's the age difference between you and your sister?

If you have already attempted to talk to your parents and things just got worst as a result of...you may need to just let it go.  I wish I could offer more words of encouragement.  Just remember...eventually you will be able to move on with your life.  Love your parents for who they are and try not to let it get to you, too much.  I know...easier said than done.  I've passed my childhood years and I still have issues with my mother.  Good luck.....

Answer 5

I ask this question to your parents:  Why do your children know how much you are spending???

I ask this question to you:  If you got what you wanted for your birthday, why do you care what she gets?  

Answer 6

Give your Mom a copy of this post.  Parents should ALWAYS spend equal amounts on children!  My Mom was so precise that at Christmas you may find extra candies in your stocking because she spent more on the others presents than yours.  She was equal to the penny!  When she remarried I remember waking up to an argument of her telling my step father that he had to spend the same amount on all the children, not just the one he fathered.  This was just before my birthday.  There was a watch from him that year that I never wore and I never forgot that he felt that I was not as good as his child.

So if you want to have one child feel inferior to the other and think that you do not love them as m,uch then go ahead treat them unfairly.  But most parents want their children to know that you love them all equally.  We may not think the children notice but they do and it has a profound and lastinf effect on them.

It is not to difficult to treat them all fairly.  Set a specific amount and spend all of it.  If there is a $5.00 difference put it in the birthday card.  The children will remember it and will be thankful that you cared enough to show that you loved them all equally!

It is also not too late to make up the difference try giving the slighted child an "Unbirthday" card with some cash in it.  Explain to the others why you did it.  They will also know that you will alway do the same for them.

Good Luck!

I hope your parents realize what they did wrong and right the wrong!

Answer 7

It's not fair but there's nothing you can do about it.

My half-sister is 15 and has 4 horses, 6 dogs, a car, a motorcycle...need I say more?

Meanwhile, for the past three birthdays and Christmases, my mom has said, I'm gonna have to send you something...I'm not holding my breath.

Answer 8

I kind of agree with Kathleen, but I do think that kids should get the same amount. But maybe one gets some huge exciting thing and the other gets a bunch of little things, that's still even. I'm a little sister to a 19 and 21 year old. They get a lot of cool stuff, but that is good for them, I get more of the random stuff for me, which I like. My advise to you would be if you don't have one, get a job, that way you can't babysit her because you are working, and you're parents might be proud of you. Also, you will get money, and she won't :-P Good luck!!