Should people adopt when they already have kids?

Question

I know a child that is being passed around like a bad habbit.

My cousin has two girls of her own. They are both well into the school years. A friend of a friend has come to her (not knowing her) and started hanging out with a 2 year old boy. Next thing you know she is keeping the boy for this worthless mother. The mother is young and wants to be with this guy that doesn't want kids. I hate to talk about my own cousin this way but she thinks a lot of herself. She thinks she is the best mother. Not saying she is a bad mother but lets just say she thinks too much of herself. She has a limited income. From what I have been told this little boy has been passed around his family a lot. It is just killing me knowing people would kill to adopt a baby. Many people wait years. She somehow thinks this boy belongs with her. He has a lost look in his eyes like he doesn't know where he belongs. Do you think it is right she try to adopt him or let others have a chance? People that can't have kids?

Answer 1

i have three kids of my own and we are thinking of adoption now. i dont think that there is anything wrong with people who have kids of their own going out and adopting others if they can afford it and have the love to share. you know that your cousin apparently loves this little boy and is doing what a mother would anyways so why would you not want her to have him. if the mother doesnt want him and is willing to sign all rights over to your cousin then that is what would be a lot better than putting the boy into the system. most kids that go into the system have so hard of a time getting parents that they wind up troubled. right now it isnt good that he is passed around like a used book.

Answer 2

My mom has adopted 4 times and is now trying to adopt two more. I think there is no shortage of children. the shortage lies in the people willing to take the children.

Answer 3

If she wants the child and the child is already building a bond with her then is it right to break that bond?

Also while we are on the subject of adoption, why are there so many people who WANT to adopt and yet so many kids that have NOT been adopted OR the celebrities that are going to OTHER COUNTRIES to get kids?

There lots of kids in the US that need a hope and lots of parents that want to adopt.  The catch is they all want a BABY!!!

But for you question, if she wants to adopt the child and the child is bonding, then leave them alone.  If he has truly been passed around like a "bad habit" and is now becoming attached to her it would be CRUEL to him and her for SOMEONE else to adopt him because "they don't have kids and she does" when there are MORE kids out there in need of homes!!!!!  He needs a home where he feels safe and loved and if it is with her then THAT IS THAT!!!!

Answer 4

Social services should have been called a LONG time ago.

Answer 5

Sure, people can adopt even if they have kids already. It is a wonder that Social Services do not step into this particular  situation. The child is the one that is getting hurt. Obviously the child is not wanted at this time, as his mother is totally immature. It is too bad, that children can be made so easily and it takes a lifetime to raise them. Too bad that people who do not understand how to raise a child can have kids so easy and others who would make terrific parents have such a hard time sometimes. The child should be with grandparents or put into a good foster home so he can have a start at a good decent life instead of being passed around like a bad habbit!! All kids need structure and good parents. This does not always happen!! This kid was dealt a bad hand to begin with!!

Answer 6

I don't think you what you think is important.  If the parents relinquish this child to her for adoption there is nothing you can do.  CPS or DFS or whatever the state agency is DOES NOT have to be involved.    The child needs a secure home right now!!

Answer 7

I personly wouldn' give my child to parents who already had them. I love to give parents who never had one a chance insteated.

Answer 8

People have every reason to adopt if they have kids or no kids. I have a sister that was adopted. My parents have been married for 23 years and have a middle income. They have 4 kids togeather and one adopted. My parents adopted her when I was 18 my brother travis 17 and my brother brian 15. My sister died when she was a baby from Sids. Thats 4 kids they had biologically. Then one of my cousins got pregnnat with her 3rd child and she was only 20 on drugs a stripper and she had the baby and left her with me when she was 2 days old for like a week. Someone was always taking that baby. When she was 2 months old her mom finally decided she didnt want her anymore and called my mom and asked if she wanted her. My mom said Yes and 30 min later here she came. My parents officially adopted her and she is turning 4 in a week and she is a very happy little girl. Very spoiled. I know she is loved as much as a person with no kids. We did what we thought was best. This baby wasnt a stranger she was family and we needed to keep our family togeather. I love her to pieces and I have a 3 month old of my own and the age difference between us kids is big but she is happy and thats all that matters. The baby your cousin is helping raise needs a solied home with real parents.

Answer 9

What's "right" is for someone to take charge of this little guy's future soon, and make sure he has love, security, and stability -- provided permanently by whoever is BEST able to provide it.  Be that a couple with no children, a couple with children, a single mom, or a single dad.

Answer 10

We've been trying to adopt for a while now, and we want school aged. They keep giving us preschoolers for emergency foster care. I want the kinds of kids who talk about something other than green poopie and understand that the shoes come off in the kitchen before they walk on the carpet.

If someone has room in the home and their heart for additional children, why shouldn't they give an orphaned child a home? There are so many children who need parents.

Answer 11

Your sister would not be able to adopt the boy unless the court terminated his parental rights, and that would take a long while.  The child would have to be in custody of the local DFS and in foster care for that to happen, or the mother AND the father would have to agree to him being adopted. It does sound like he needs a permanent home, poor guy.

Answer 12

i think it doesn't matter whether you have kids or not. as long as the adopted kid is comfortable with the original kids. it will also let that kid not feel lonely and be loved.

Answer 13

Children come into our lives when we least expect it.  And believe it or not, when they do come, we try to think how we will cope because we don't ever have enough money and yet, we somehow manage to feed those little mouths.

It's unfortunate what is happening with the little boy and you never know, he might just lose that lost look in his eyes after being with your cousin.  It's not unusual for people with their own children to adopt another child or two.  Some couples want more children than the wife can physically handle, and so adoption is an option.

Sometimes I think things happen for a reason.  Maybe she was meant to have this little boy.  I just can't get over the worthless mother just passing the boy off because the guy she is with doesn't want children.  Man, that's sad and you are right, she is worthless.  I wonder if that idiot guy she's with will someday drop her like a hot potato and will she want her little boy back?  I guess there's all kinds of people in this world.  If you can, help your cousin take care of this boy.

Answer 14

I see no reason that people who already have children can’t adopt in fact I applaud people who do so. There seem to be a misconception that people only adopted when they are infertile. This is far from the truth there are many people out there that already have their own children and decide they have enough love to give a child(ren) who need homes a home; there are people who don’t want to have natural children and just adopt.  

I feel bad for this poor child. If the child is bonding with her I see no reason she shouldn’t adopt him but as said his mother would have to sign away her rights to him, and the father if he is known. Then it could take a while for her to legally adopt him, he might even be placed in foster care.  There is no shortage of children that need to be adopted.