Should pregnant woman have complete control over child's fate?

Question

Is it right to let a woman who entered a relationship with the intent to get pregnant and share a life with the father, suddenly change her mind and have complete control over the lives that surround this child?

Your thoughts please.

Answer 1

Hi Lori,

I believe the father has the same rights as the mother. Sorry, i can't elaborate cause i feel its straight forward.  Both parents have the same rights to the child.

Answer 2

I don't know how to answer that.. I am torn (really). Control over the child's fate after it's born? No, I guess not. I think the other person who said she should of gone to a sperm bank is right.  Why get more ppl involved than she wanted? If she wants that much control she should make better choices.

Answer 3

No.  Two people made that baby, they should both have say from the time of conception on...unless one is unfit of course.

Answer 4

I believe that both the mother and father should have say so in the childs life - However I do not know the reason that her mind might have changed - maybe some of his attibutes have been exciting when you are dating and he is thrilling as a boyfriend may not be such a good canidate as a father and maybe he is showing a side to his charater that is more risky to be around - but unless there is abuse of any kind - or drug issues - he does have some kind of say so - I am sorry if that is not what you want to hear.

Answer 5

Hi Lori,

Good question.  Parenting is often mistakenly mixed in with reproductive rights.  Two separate things with two different answers.  

Yes, a woman should have the say over her own body, her sexuality, birthing options, birth control methods, & whether or not to continue a pregnancy.   Those are legitimate issues which directly effect a woman & her reproductive health.  She is entitled to privacy there & she may change her mind.  Medical issues between a woman & her doctor are separate issues from the later ones of parenting, custody, & child's rights.

Once that pregnancy is over & the child is born, the woman's reproductive choices are also over with respect to that pregnancy.  That child is now a person in his/her own right.  The woman's medical privacy does not apply to the child's future, & certainly does not extend into their permanent adulthood.  That new person has all the SAME human rights that each other human has, including support from BOTH parents, rights to information on BOTH parents, & relationships with BOTH parents.  (Assuming no abuse to the child.)  

Regarding your question if being pregnant entitles the woman to then have complete control over the child's fate, I believe it does  not.  There is no rational justification for anyone to infringe upon the child's rights to both sides of his/her family.  One parent should never have the option of taking away a child's right to support from his/her other parent or a relationship with that other person.  This goes for both mothers & fathers.

To sum it up, the woman's reproductive rights & medical privacy, as used for a reason for control, stop at the time of birth.  Then the child's rights kick in.  Nobody has the right to take away the child's rights, not even the mother.  Thanks for asking our thoughts.

julie j

reunited adoptee

Edit to add:  This also relates to why I do not believe that either parent should be allowed to give up babies to adoption without the other's consent.  Having given birth does not give one the right to take away the other parent's rights or the child's rights.

Answer 6

I think you have a personal agenda, and until I know it, I'm not comfortable with your questions.

cw

Answer 7

Because we live with an archaic court system that views all fathers as "dead-beat dads".

What I find sad is that good fathers have to bend over backwards to prove any abuse or neglect (or even fight to be the father to his child) but all a woman has to do is pick up a phone and claim that he beat her or claim the father is unknown.

Answer 8

IMO, Women should have the personal choice to carry a fetus to term or not. However once the mother decides to bring the fetus to term and suceeds in bringing a child (PERSON) into the world both parents have equal rights and responsibilities to that child unless proven to be unfit.

Fathers, their parents and even mother's parents all have genetics and history in common with the kid - all of them played a part in creating the child and all should have different degrees of responsibility to each other - its called FAMILY. Families are supposed to love and support each other and do what is right for each other, EVEN when its hard or someone is being difficult.

I also that believe that as a child IS a person should have it's own rights to his or her family and history - even if it is against the wishes of it's caregivers. Adults should not be allowed to falsify or hide the truth about birth and history. To prevent children from seeing their families or determine a child's relationships (barring dangerous circumstances) because a caregiver cannot seperate their feelings from those of their child or uses a child as a weapon against a person as a method of control is sick. What is best for a child is not always what is most comfortable or easiest for the adults in that child's life. Keeping children from the people who have an interest in its development and well being is to alienate a child from love, learning, history, emotional support, etc.

I say, shame on those who prevent children from receiving all the love and support they deserve.

ETA: Lori, I hear you on this. One of my closest friends is dealing with this. It makes me LIVID when parents don't have enough respect for their children to not taint them with their own personal issues. IMO, telling a child that one of their parents is a dirtbag, scumsucker, jerk or whatever is saying that about 1/2 of the CHILD and is a vile way to treat a child's psyche!!

Answer 9

If she just slept with him to get pregnant then she should have just gone to a sperm bank.. The father has as much right to be in that childs life as she does and she owes it to her child to give it the chance to have its father in its life...