Should relationships be based on sacrifice?

Question

Do you think a good relationship should be based on sacrifice? The guy I have been dating and I disagree on this topic. He said relationships are based on trust, understanding, faith, and sacrifice. I agreed that they should be based on trust, understanding, and faith. But not sacrifice. Why should we sacrifice anything? I understand that is how most relationships function but why should we aim to sacrifice? Shouldn't we aim to gain? What are your opinions?

Answer 1

I agree...a relationship shouldn't be based upon sacrifice.  It may involve compromise and sacrifice at times but the basis for the relationship shouldn't be sacrifice.  

Answer 2

you should not have to sacrifice yourself for a relationship

trust, faith, love are good relationship basics

but sacrificing yourself is not going to pay off for anyone, especially the one doing the sacrificing

Answer 3

Well, it depends. If what you were going to sacrifice was going to result in a h**l of a lot of gain, then it is more of an exchange isn't it?

Maybe your guy meant compromise, rather than great sacrifice. Compromise I think is a very important thing in a relationship. Nobody can always get their own way, compromising is a great substitute and results in everybody getting a 'lil of what they wanted. Quids in.

Don't argue too much. It's not good.

Shawnee x.

Answer 4

It only depends on how your relationship to going. Sometimes sacrifices are necessary and sometimes not.

Answer 5

of course there are sacrifices to be made.  if you have the attitude of "im doing this or that, who cares if you like it" from big things like wanting to move, or always having to have your way or where you want dinner at.  Its all about sacrifice, yes, should be equally given, but its on both parts.

Answer 6

I wish I could solve everyone’s relationship problems so that our world would be a happier place, but I can’t. The truth is, successful relationships don’t just happen. They are the product of sacrifice, hard work, dedication, communication and many other factors.

Answer 7

As long as both people sacrifice, both people gain more than if they were in a relationship with a selfish person. Only when one person is doing all the sacrificing does that person get screwed.

Answer 8

Well, I understand your philosophy that a relationship shouldn't be BASED on sacrifice.  And that is certainly not the AIM of any relationship.  But the truth is that in any long-term relationship, sacrifices will be made.  So maybe he means that it is inevitable for success.

It sounds to me like there is an undercurrent here of needing to be "right".  Why is this question even an issue with the two of you?  Having the "answer" to this question is not what is important here.  

Honoring and respecting one another and preserving the relationship should be your goals - not the answer to who is right and who is wrong about a philosophical question.

Don't forget that you may sometimes win the battle and lose the war.  Make sure your priorities are in order or you might "sacrifice" the relationship while you are trying to prove a point!

Answer 9

I'd say compromise.. not sacrifice.

Answer 10

You're splitting hairs here.  You should not *aim* to sacrifice, and I doubt that's what he's saying.  However, you should go into a marriage *willing* to make sacrifices for its long-term success.