Should she abort or keep?

Question

my friend is 16 and she pregnant.

she doesn't no whether to keep the baby or not but she refuses to tell her mum.

her mum is a very strict religious freak (no offense to anyone religious)

so she is to afraid to tell her.

when she told her boyfriend who is 19 he dumped her and wont answer any of her calls or texts.

shes scared witless and needs some quality advice i feel like I'm out of my depth can anyone give me a hand?

Answer 1

This is a very serious question for a friend to ask, if you are truly a friend you will tell your mom what is going on and ask her to help confront your friends mom, and then she can be safe and have loved ones people who care for her and her future to help her with whatever she may decide and then she will have the love and support she would need.  

As far as the BF goes, I really hope he at 19 can do some time for child endangerment, rape, sexual misconduct and as a pedophile have his name as a registered s*x offender because he will always prey on young women who cant take care of themselves

Answer 2

I know how ya feel I dealt with the same thing last year, but my friend was only 15, (same with the guy, he's 15) Long story short she (your friend) should tell her mom, if she really loves and cares for her daughter she will help her. If that does not work then there are tons of programs out there that help, like in my area there is to a "TOPS" (teen opportunity program) It is apart of CEO, commission of equal opportunity, they help anyone living in Ny state. They will most likely have something like this in your area. They also have homeless shelters throughout the country made just for pregnant teens. If you got anymore concerns write again I will tell you all about it. The best thing she can do is tell her mom, yeah it might ruin their relationship, but it will help her baby, since the dumb a** father wont! Remember, abortion is not always the answer, you can never get that child back. Remember there is also adoption, that way there could still be visitations and it gives a family a child that otherwise they could never have. (If she is going to either abort or adopt out, then she need to decide soon, because after a certain time she can't do either) Good Luck...  

Answer 3

She needs to tell her mom regardless of what she thinks she may do or say. Only an adult can help her figure this out, not her other teen friends.  

Answer 4

i'm neither pro-choice or pro-life.

your friend had s*x. this is the consequence. she should of thought of her actions before she has s*x. i don't understand how she could dare consider aborting the child when its her and the mans fault it even happened. she chose to have s*x, now its time for her to grow up and realize there is a living child inside of her and in 9 months it will be a breathing human with feelings. put her in an others shoes, imagine of her mom had aborted her, she wouldn't be here. so how can she justify having an abortion? but, it is her body, her life, her money, her everything. its ultimately her decision whether she keeps or aborts the child. whatever she chooses though, she needs to tell her mom, because the longer you wait to have an abortion, the more expensive it is.

best of luck and god bless.

Answer 5

she shouldn't abort the kid, i mean it is part of her, aborting is like killing someone, well it IS killing someone. i think she should tell her mom, not matter how her mom is, a mom should be the one to understand. & that is her kid, she should be there for her. yeah, she is young, but it is better than killing the kid than giving it chance. she should really tell her mom. but she has to feel when its going to be right. if she had the guts to tell her boyfriend, she should have the guts to tell her mom. have her sit her mom down, & have her explain everything that happen to her mom. at first her mom might be mad, but she will put that away to help her daughter. she really shouldn't abort it. she will always have someone who will love her no matter what if she has that kid. 'cause one of my friends sister went through that & she was going to abort it, but she is so glad she didn't.

her mom will understand, the sooner she tells her the more she will feel better.

hope i helped :D

Answer 6

i'm totally against abortion.. she should keep the baby! I mean... cutting a baby out of the guts? It'a a kind of murder because once the heart starts beating... it's alive!

So tell her to keep the baby.

Okay... so her mom might get mad, yeah, but she will be over it some time soon and start to understand her daughter's feelings and support her (if she's a good mom)...

Answer 7

tell her to call the hope line- 1-800-394-HOPE.  any time from 7 pm to 5 am or 7 pm to 12am on the weekends she can talk to a nonbiast person remainanonymouss and get some answers from someone who just wants to help   this has gotten me out of many hard times.

first she needs to tell her mother. She might be surprised at how supportive a family can be when times get hard. She needs to keep the baby, why should a child be killed so she can live as she wishes. (go mother Teresa) She doesn't have to raise the child, she just needs to give it a chance. My cousin got pregnant when she was in high school and she was still in love with the dad and they chose to get married and keep the baby. It doesn't look like that will happen in this case. While she is pregnant she can continue school-there are a lot of programs for girls in situation. Or she can go to an out of city relative to stay with until the baby's had. A lot of couples will adopt the baby right after birth. And then she can continue on with her life knowing that her child will mean the world to that family and that she gave it a chance.

Answer 8

It is mainly up to your friend on whether or not she keeps the baby. In the end i'm sure her family will support her. No mother wants to see their baby having a baby at such a young age. However it is all on her beliefs and how she feels. Who knows after a while the father might come around. He could just be scared and in shock right now.  

Answer 9

From the word "mum" I assume you live in England. But I would say to keep the baby, like was said before go after the fellow that was involved and let him pay for his mistake. My granddaughter had a child when she was sixteen and unmarried but there is much more to the story, to much to mention here but she had just lost her father to cancer at age 42 and most likely needed Male companionship.  

Answer 10

My opinion, I think she should keep the baby, she had s*x, she needs to take the responsibility and consequences of her actions. now about telling her mom, She NEEDS to tell her mom. her mom might be a religious "freak" but no matter how religious she is, she loves her daughter. will she be upset and mad at first? probably, but she will accept it. being a soon to be mom here, if my son ever got someone pregnant, I would be MORE pissed that he waited to tell me. And as for her boyfriend, well then he just isn't worth her time and she is better off without him. she can get child support weather he claims the child or not he will HAVE to pay. you asked me for my opinion, there it is, keep the baby, tell her mom and collect child support from that loser. Good Luck to her.  

Answer 11

This young girl is confused, afraid and hurt right now and has to speak to an adult, whether it be a counsellor at her school or a close relative - perhaps an adult sister, brother, cousin, an aunt or close family friend.  Also, there are many government agencies and programs designed to help young women in your friend's position, which you should consider contacting.   You sound like a good friend - is there an adult you know that can help? Would your own parents be able to help?  It would be helpful if she could speak to another adult, other than her parents at this point, someone that is outside of the situation and objective and someone that could advise her on how to break it her parents and explain her options.  Because very soon, regardless of how she thinks her parents may react, she will have to talk to her parents; she cannot bear this burden alone.  Her parents will love her and support her when faced with the reality of a pregnancy and in the end will want what is best for their child.  This young girl will need the support of her parents.  

As far as keeping the child I will freely admit that my opinion is biased because I hope that this yound girl decides to go ahead with the pregnancy regardless of whether or not she decides to keep her baby.  But, she has to what is best for both herself and her baby; and she is so young, a baby having a baby really.

The reason why I am against aborting the baby is because there are too many couples in this world unable to have children, eager to adopt.  Two of my best friends, women I have known all of my life, were not able to conceive after years of trying - including several attempts with In Vitro Fertilization which were not successful and it was heartbreaking to see what these couples went through.  One couple decided to adopt and it was an open adoption.  The young mother, ironically just 16 years old, the same age as your friend, was a part of the whole interview process and she was the one who decided who the adoptive parents would be for her child.  I will never forget when my friends got the call; they had been through so much and they were on the adoption list for two years.  It really was a dream come true for them when they received that miracle call and they are wonderful parents.

I sincerely hope that someone on here can help you or point you in the right direction.  You sound like a wonderful friend and she is lucky to have you.  Best Wishes to you both.

Answer 12

I think by the sounds of it its best that she doesnt keep the baby. Abortion is always an option but usually not cheap and she should have an adult with her. there is always the option of adoption. She needs to talk to an adult she can trust, maybe an Aunt or a school counselor if she cant talk to her mom. Good luck.  

Answer 13

well she can call the cops cause thats considered rape if he is 19 and she is 16 so yah.  

Answer 14

I am pro-choice and it sounds like this baby is unwanted and if your friend is mentally okay with aborting the fetus then that is what she should do.  It was a mistake why should she or the unborn pay for it later in life, nobody is perfect.

Answer 15

I think the best thing to do right now would be to get in touch with a women's clinic in your area and have her go and speak to one of the counsellors there. I found out I was pregnant and was super scared. It really helped me to hear about the options that are available and to share my story with a non judgemental person. Make sure the place you go to is neutral to both sides of abortion or keeping the baby. right now she just really needs more information in order to make a knowledgeable choice. There are even counsellors who will go with her when she tells her mom if she decides to keep the baby. It is a tremendously hard decision sometimes and not one to be rushed. Good luck to your friend.

Answer 16

I was 16 when I found out i was pregnant.  I told my mom and she was upset and eventually got over it.  If she doesn't want to keep the baby she should just tell her mom that she knows it wasn't very responsible but she it going to give it up for adoption.  Abortion is so sad especially when there are people out there that want to adopt.  Anyway i'd keep with the pregnancy and have the baby adopted to someone who is ready to be a parent.  the babys dad was 18 when i got pregnant and he didn't go to  jail.