Should she go back to an abusive relationship if she and her baby have no place to go?

Question

My best friend finally got out of a mentally and physically abusive relationship. She has an 8 month old with this man. she just told me today that she and her daughter have no place to stay and that she was going to have to put all her feelings aside and go back to this man. There is no room for her in my parents house so she can't stay with me. She's 21 by the way. What can she do???

Answer 1

No she should never go back with that fool. There are plenty of shelters that will take her in and help her untill she gets back on track. Dont let her go back.

Answer 2

The state cannot just dump her if there is a child involved. It is not allowed.

She needs to be anywhere apart from being with him.

If she goes back to him this week, next week she could be dead

Answer 3

anything but go back to him. Does she want her child hurt and abused? Does she want her child to see her get abused. There is always a wiser decision than that.

Answer 4

Find the closest chapter of Women helping Women.

They will be able to be a good support

Answer 5

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!

My mother was involved in 3 different abusive relationships while I was growing up, trust me, you're friend and her daughter are better off at a battered women's shelter, or the YWCA!!

Each time she goes back, the abuse will get worse, I guarantee it!

I was 5 and my mom and I spent 2 months at the Y. It was better than watching her get knocked around, trust me!!

PLEASE, PLEASE. PLEASE  tell her not to go back!!

Answer 6

She can make the right choice and NOT go back to this man.  Her baby will thank her for it later.

I don't know where you are writing from, but in most areas of the developed world there are homes for women just like your friend.  In BC, Canada, we call them transition houses.  Women can go there and stay for awhile until they find somewhere else to be for the long term.  They can access counselling and support services, and get help with the court process if they are pressing charges.  

Please help your friend realize that she can't go back.  He won't change, no matter what he promises.  Search "women's shelters" for your area and see what you can find.  It's the best thing for her and her child.

Answer 7

Why would she go back and risk her baby's safety? Tell her to think straight and that that there's always another way. Plus she's 21, she's old enough to make some real challenging life decisions. She needs to do some growing up and think about her baby.

Answer 8

Tell her to go to social services and they might be able to get her emergency  services. I know it might not be what she wants but it's temporary until she get back on her feet. There are alot of places that can help.

Answer 9

No, No, No, it will only be just as bad...does she want to raise the baby in that stress.  There are places and programs to go.  She needs to check out in the yellow pages women shelters.  They help women in abusive relationships with children.  Doesn't she have any parents?  Grand parents?  Salvation Army can help.  She can't go back to abusive man.  For the kids sake!!!

Answer 10

GO TO YOUR LOCAL DEPARTMENT OF HUMAN SERVICES AND SIGHN UP FOR EMERGENCIES CASH ADE. ADVICE THE CASE WORKER OF YOUR SETUATION. ALSO, ASK FOR YOUR LOCAL SHELTER FOR ABUSHED WOMEN.



  ALLIANCE AGAINST FAMILY VIOLENCE

[phone] TOLL FREE 1-800-273-7713

FRIENDSHIP HOUSE AND COMUITY CENTER

[phone]

FOOD BANCK HELP LINE

TOLL FREE 1-800-273-2275

BAKERSFIELD CRIS PREGNANCY CENTER

[phone]

HIGH DESERT WOMEN'S CENTER [phone]

24HR/DAY HOTLINE   [phone]

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE   [phone]

SART   [phone]

ONCE A ABUSER ALWAYS A ABUSER NEVER LOOK BACK ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD.

  

Answer 11

Most definately NOT...............call child protective services...go to a shelter...bunk w/friends

Answer 12

She should not go back.  The front page of too many newspapers report the killing of women who did.    She can go to social agencies and speak with them and perhaps develop a program that will lead to self sufficency and be aided financially along the way.   If she does this it is important she finds the right  person to talk with (some are destructive and angry themselves).  Some counselors stick with a person and walk them through the process and provide emotional support at times when they truely need it.  having left him will make the counselor more willing to help.   Plus there are many woman's support groups.   Open her eyes to more avenues of action than she current sees.    It might take some time but it can improve the rest of her life and that of her child's who would likely be abused also and have a lifetime of being screwed -up.

Answer 13

She should absolutely NOT go back.  I left an abusive relationship recently, and it's not easy, especially with a child.  She should really reach out to the local domestic violence places.  They helped me a lot.  They have free counseling, and they should be able to help her get set up with a place to live.  They will help her get furniture and they should also have a "safe pets" program if she has pets that need to be cared for.  I wish her the best of luck!

Answer 14

NO!!!!!