Should she let her back?

Question

''A'' brought her sister over to start her off on her carreer ladder. She came over n messed up big style. ''A'' n partner had to struggle and get her a job n all...she gets the job but aparently the graduate traineeship will only begin towards the end of this yr. Meanwhile ''A'' s sister would hang on the phone for hours n hours the minute ''A'' & partner would leave for work. When the bills finally come, they would advice her that life is not as easy as she thinks. She claimed that she's bored, know;s no one..etc..Whenever they took her out she would go missing and the next thing she's locking lips with some random stranger. This went on n on, despite several warnings. After all that she goes back with an excuse that she's misses the family and would want to work n earn n save up. She goes back n starts working n partying n is never home...she's broken up with her bf and found a new one and broke up with that one n gone back to the former one...she's not been in touch with ''A'', knowing she would still need to come back n live with ''A'' & her partner. I've been talking to ''A'', she's very deeply saddened with the way her sister is behaving n how cold she's been to her. ''A'' and partner meant well and this is how she's repayed their gesture...they are finding it hard to digest the fact that she's gonna come back when she's not even bothered keeping in touch and after all the damage she's caused them...theyre finding it hard to trust her. I had suggested i'd post this online so that we got some idea's on how to proceed with this case. Thanking you all in advance.

p.s : ''A''s sister is 24 this yr.

Answer 1

i would suggest this girl will realise how things work when you stay at her house and take the same liberties.

do unto others etc etc...

Answer 2

Its not going to be good either way. Family members will be the one's that care the less unfortunetly. The best thing to do is be supportive but encourage her to come back and get a place of her own. Or move to another state, that works to. LOL  Good Luck  

Answer 3

First of all this 24yr old sister sounds very selfish and it would appear that she is going to continue like this if someone doesn't explain to her what she is doing. What she does outside their home they should ignore unless it effects them in some way.  If A and partner are going to have her back in their home then they should set down some ground rules, they need to be straight to the point with her, don't play any games with her,  stick to the rules , and don't worry about hurting her feelings because it's obvious she is not worried about hurting A and partner. She does all this stuff because she can . If she messes up again then she needs to know that she has to leave, and don't listen to any of her excuses... or they could just refuse to have her back and give her no explanation. Whatever they decide to do ...when dealing with her they need to be straight and don't go along with her games...

Answer 4

Yeah... Sister of "A" need tough love, meaning bench on the street,well may be not bench.  She can not turn her back to sister, no matter how sister is. But she should not be making her life uncomfortable because of her sister as well. She probably should let her in give her 2 weeks to find a job, even in local Burger king, have a condition of at least 40 working hours a week, 2 jobs if needed, and sister should pay her part of food and utils after 1.5 months of work. If her sister is interested in straitening her life she'll agree and do. But "A" has to be firm and kick sister out if she does not have 40 hour job(s) in 2 weeks. And I am telling all this because i think if "A" doesn't give her sister one more chance some time later she might feel uneasy about it... even though her sis is 24, she should bit her *** with a belt, some old time parenting needed.

Answer 5

Theres not much A can do, just let her get on with it.  If the sister comes back to live with A for the job, she can bring it up then.