Should single people adopt?

Question

I've never really wanted to be married, but I've always wanted to have children. I think that adoption, whether I'm married or or not, is a better choice for me. I grew up in a big family so I would want to adopt four or five kids. What is your opinion on a woman raising kids without any father involved? I mean, I know that women and men do this all the time, but generally there is a partner there in the beginning at least.

I was just wondering if more people think that adoption is a great thing even if a person is single, or if more people think that only couples should adopt children for the sake of the child?

Answer 1

Go for it!

Answer 2

yer i say go for it or there is the other way if you want to experince the pregnacy of trying for a sperm doner. im a mum of boy nearly2 the father walked out half way through my labour and i was in labour 3days

Answer 3

sure hun, if you think you are ready and pass the home study then by all means adopt, it does not matter if your married or not, if you have the home and space and extra love to give then go for it.

Answer 4

Yeah why not!  As long as you can provide a loving and nurturing home for the child yes!  Children need love, nurture, happiness, and need to be safe.  They ned that environment that if they ever feel scared then they can run to you and always feel safe in your arms!

I have several friends who never wanted to get married, however they wanted children.  So, when they were financially and emotionally ready they adopted!

Go for it!

Best wishes!

Answer 5

go for it

Answer 6

everyone should be able to adopt no matter what unless there is a major reason for them not to!

Answer 7

If you have the resources (money) and can care for and handle four or five kids on your own, go for it! I don't think it matters if children are raised by a single parent, as long as they are treated and loved the same way they would be if they had 2 parents.

Answer 8

I think kids need a father and mother but if you get enough of them then it would probably end up being a pretty nice family. Good luck.

Answer 9

I think so. Woman have babies while single so if you can take care of one I say yes.

Answer 10

No.

It takes two people to make a child, and there's a reason for it.  Raising children is stressful and exhausting, and it takes two people to handle the load.  

Adopting is about providing a family for a child, but the reason many mothers give for placing their child is that the father is not around.  Why in the world would a parent placing a child because she is single even consider placing with a single mother?

You would not be raising the child(ren) in any case.. their daycare providers would,  and that is simply not fair to the children.

Answer 11

You should begin the adoptive process.  Part of it is a home study, which will determine how many children, how old, etc...

I have two wonderful children, and boy and a girl...and I adopted alone.

Good luck.....

A parent is better then no parents.....you can still provide love, care, food, shelter, etc. on your own.

You don't have to have a father involved.  Sign them up for a Big Brother prgram....if you have a large family, there may be plenty of Uncles to take them fishing and built a fort.  Grandfathers too.

Answer 12

I think it's the epitome of selfishness.

Adopted children should be considered 'special needs' kids.  They have suffered profound losses before they get to their permanent home.  

I believe adopted kids deserve two parents, and one of the main reasons people promote adoption IS so that these kids will have 'a two parent home'.  Taking a child from his/her unmarried natural mother to be raised by an unrelated single woman is ludicrous to me.

I always get a chuckle from childless people who say the want 'four or five kids'.  You have no idea, obviously, what this entails.  With every kid you add, your time is further divided, and your energy diminished.

Are you a multi-millionaire?  If not then you'll be working, right?  All five of your children in day-care, before & after-care from school, then?  Is it really fair to adopt a child only to place them in a childcare facility for 9-10 hours a day?  What kind of life is that?

I think you should start working with kids in your free time.  Why not try Big Brothers/Big Sisters?  And maybe foster an older kid?

I think your big brood fantasy should remain a fantasy.

Answer 13

most of the time the mother would put a baby up so that it could have a mother and a father... but if you have the means go for it!!!!

Answer 14

I'm single and I adopted my daugther when she was 6 months old.  She's 3 now, and the light of my life.  She is incredibly happy and well-adjusted.  Everyone who cares for her - such as friends or daycare teachers remark on how happy and well behaved she is.  I know many two parent families who are unstable and overwhelmed and have no idea how to parent a child.  I think if a person is financially stable (we aren't rich, but we have enough) and if that person has a good support system of family and friends, and if the person has good parenting skills and good life skills in general, then a single person can be a wonderful parent!  I believe a child is much better off in a stable, happy, one-parent home, than an unstable two-parent home.  The key is love along with parenting ability.

Answer 15

Yes. But hold off on adopting that many at first. You'll need a support group and hopefully your parents can help, too.  There are actually studies that have been made where certain children are better off with a single mother. I'll look for the link for you. There are also a couple of fantastic groups for single mothers, which I'll link.

It's hard work but it's wonderful. As for those who said not to and assume you are going to stick the children in day care, forget it. There are plenty of churches now that have 2 day, 3 day and 5 day mother's day out programs. I fought keeping my daughter out as long as I could, but she is a "social animal" and wanted to go, plus I was diagnosed with severe exhaustion. I think it really helped her socially and now with school. It's the most wonderful act anyone can ever do. Good luck.

added: The thumbs down gets old. Please don't let these trolls distract you. Just look at the ones who get lots of thumbs down and you'll find the right answer you are seeking. Thank you.

Answer 16

For the sake of the children, I would say no.  Most people these days don't realize the importance of children having a mother AND a father.  It is very important for them to have both a male and female role model and being raised without one or the other can hugely affect them.  Although, being raised by a single parent who treats them well is better by far than being raised in an abusive or otherwise harmful environment by two parents.  If you really want to help kids that need it the most, consider foster care.

Answer 17

in my case (which is probably extreme) i was adopted by a single woman. in the 29 years of my life she has never had a boyfriend, a husband, or even just interaction. i don't understand family structure, i can't keep a relationship, i have no way of knowing if i'm in a good relationship or a bad one becasue i don't have anything to base it on. my friends thiink i'm to hard on guys and don't give them a chance. my mother was married 3 times before she adopted me so that didn't happen to her daughters and they're fine.

I really don't like adoption for anythig but the death of parents and abuse. other than that it is just insaine. no one checks on us once we have a home. kinda like we came out as a doll from a factory and you have some people that dust their dolls off an make sure they are taken care of and never taken out of the box, then you have the people that like to cut all their dolls hair off and pull the legs off of it and throw it in the bottom of the toy box. No one ever looks out for the toy box people. we're just supposed to be happy we got plucked off the shelf. It really isn't about us. it's about making a childless person happy, or about weather we act the way they want or jump as high as they want us to. the when we find our real parents the get mad and feel expendable so we still have to worry about THEIR feelings. it is rarely ever about us. more about the quality of life for the aparents. So unless you are willing to be selfless, teach them the essence of family, and never make them feel expendable you may have a chance. my life is what it is all i can do is try to make it better for somebody else.

Answer 18

I disagree with this. It takes a male and a female to make a baby for a reason. I have girl friends that are in horrible shape since their father left their family. Children don't understand as well what a "good man" is if they don't see it themselves. Not to mention if you have commitment problems what do you think that means to your children's commitment issues with their girlfriends or boyfriends? I think you need a good role model for the mother and the father.. or they won't know what to expect later. It is unfair. What if you die? Who takes care of your children then?

Answer 19

In my opinion, it's more important to just provide children with stability, love, nurturing, kindness, a great example, values, and obviously the necessities in terms of material things as well.  If you can afford to adopt that many kids, then go for it.  I do think boys and girls alike need to grow up seeing examples of good men - what they are like, how they behave, and more importantly, how they treat their significant other.  That doesn't mean YOU have to be married but it does mean exposing them to these types of examples.  For instance, if you have a little boy, don't you want him to grow up knowing what it means to be a man?  How he should treat a woman when or if he ever falls in love?  Goodluck to you!

Answer 20

i think its great !!! if i dont get married and have a partner than adopition would be were i would go ! i always wanted children !

Answer 21

I can see why agencies would want 'married couples' to adopt. On the other hand, if you're a kid who's 'waiting' to be adopted, I think you would be happy to have even one parent than no parent at all. Not to mention, being a single parent doesn't mean you can't provide a warm and loving home. And having 'home' is something that an 'institution' can't replace.

Answer 22

Yes! i adopted my daughter threw the foster care system at 2 yrs old and she's now 11. Let em tell you it was the greatest thing i could have ever done. She is the greatest joy to ever come into my life!! Children are blessings no matter if there biological or adopted. No matter if the parent is married or NOT. The way you parent is not based on whether your married or not.Your child would just as loved as any  other child. There are many married couples who have no business having a cat let alone a child.  So don't let  these crazy people change your mind. follow your heart hun. Once you adopt this yes it hard but its the greatest blessing you could ever ask for.

and as far as the child being in daycare all day thats c**p!  I worked full time and my  daughter went to daycare 2 days a week  and she was fine. some act like if you send your child to daycare there going to die. give me a break, and get a life.