Should society have a moral responsibility to encourage parenting?

Question

It is the responsibility of the community to raise the children. If we see bad things happening we act on them and defend the rights of children if we're morally and ethically involved people.

For example, if a child gets hurt, we picked them up, bandage them and help them get back on their feet again. If a child is scare of a test, competition, sport event, we encourage them to finish it, to try and give it a shot, do their best, never give up.

If someone doesn't want to do something, because they've never done it before in all situations I can think of "healthy situations' he or she is encouraged to do so.

Why then, is pregnancy so frowned upon?

Shouldn't we as a community, a society have a moral responsibility to encourage our new parents to parent, to help them into parenthood and strive to raise healthy whole families? Compared to shaming young mothers, basing parental eligibility on poverty vs. savings accounts, race, and education?

Our we failing our children?

Answer 1

Absolutely, it's in the best interest of the child to be raised by his or her own family wherever possible (unless they are in danger,  of course)

When separating mother and child so casually and normalizing it when there is no abuse or danger to the child, we are doing children a disservice

Answer 2

Pregnancy has been with us since the beginning of time. It's not a disease. I think that telling a mother that she needs to realize she's not going to be able to party for 10 more years and dance the night away is absurd. That's the problem with society, somehow we've decided that children, teenagers, and young adults need to be irresponsible for a few decades. Most people, that were they age of my grandparents, were married by 15-18 and having families. We didn't have all the problems with young adults that we do now.

For those who like to throw God into the equation, he set it up so our bodies would menstruate in the teenage years and that's when you're body is ready to reproduce. I've seen many immature young kids grow up quickly, and make good lifelong decisions when they step into the roll of parenting. That happens for everyone, regardless of age.

I can't wait til the "me, me, me, it's all about me" days are over. They have brought our society down. It's time to tell kids to get away from the computer games and tv, and to get a job and take care of business.

Answer 3

We in the U.S. do support and encourage parenthood.  Single parenthood is also glorified in Hollywood - how much more of an endorsement can we give?

We give teens (and older moms) free clinics where they are picked up, taken to their appointments, fed lunch, given free tickets to sports events for coming to their appointments, matched with a mentor, taken to GED classes, taught parenting classes, given free childcare, given baby beds, clothes, car seat, formula, food and diapers, and a nurse who comes by to check on them after delivery.

And, get this.  Many of the licensed adoption agencies provide formula, diapers, groceries, transportation to doctor, bus tokens, emergency housing, referrals for parenting classes, counseling, legal referrals, help with housing, assistance with WIC, food stamps and Medicaid, baby clothes and car seats -- to -- hold on to your seats now -- mothers who are NOT interested in placing their baby for adoption.  

We do have a responsibility to encourage the parenting of children.  That is one reason why adoption is so vital to our community.  It picks up the responsibility, continues and perpetuates parenting when a woman has decided she cannot/will not parent.  Adoption is in the best interest of the community, and more importantly, its children.

Answer 4

Yes.

Answer 5

Hi Gershom

New hairstyle on your avatar - is it just there or in real life too?

In my CASA volunteer days, then as an employee/case manager for CASA, I saw a lot of girls come in pregnant. Usually they had a good idea [they said] of who impregnated them, but about 1/4 of the time had no idea.

It was a disciplinary offense for any of us to recommend any disposition for the pregnancy - keeping the child, giving the child up for adoption, or abortion. The decision had to be left to the girl and to her family.

Government wasn't involved and "society" wasn't really involved, though I saw some great support from African-American church groups and have developed appreciation for that culture.

I worked directly with a lot of these young pregnant girls and have to respond that your comments about "...shaming young mothers, basing parental eligibility on poverty vs. savings accounts, race, and education..." are way off base. I saw none of that at all.

Answer 6

Encourage......YES.

Coerce......NO

"Society" has a lot of moral responsibilities that it fails to act upon.   For example:  abortion is a sin against GOD but in the USA "society" has given you the legal right to have an abortion. No one can depend on "society" to do what is right.  It comes down to individual choices.  Individuals need to do what is morally right no matter what "society" says.

In this case, individual choices inclulde to parent or not to parent......that is the question.

When a girl/woman finds herself in an unwanted pregnancy, she has to make the best choice that she can make for the sake of child.  Only SHE (not you, not "society") can make that choice for her because only SHE knows her situation.  Only SHE knows if she  is capable at this stage of her life to raise a child.

Answer 7

I don't think it is the same thing. When a child gets hurt we try and help, but then we go on our way. When a child is nervous about a test or a game we encourage them to do their best. The thing is, if you fail a test or loose a game you move on. This usually isn't a life changing situation. Pregnancy and parenting is life changing.

Girls/women who get pregnant made an adult decision that resulted in pregnancy. They should also be able to make the adult decision about what they want to do.

I don't want to tell someone what to do in a situation that I have never been in, but I don't want to make a girl feel guilty about her decision not to parent either.  I think it would be equally immoral to convince someone to raise a child they didn't want because they were taught that it is shameful to place the child with a family who wants a baby and wants to parent. You accuse people of shaming young mothers for being a young mother, but you seem to shame them for making a decision they feel is best for their child.

You imply that it is wrong for us to provide options to a woman who needs them. You think it is wrong to encourage a better life for a baby. Instead you think it better to encourage parenting in a less than desirable situation.

“Why is pregnancy so frowned upon?”—it isn’t. Raising a child in poverty, keeping a young woman from reaching her educational or career goals, and making someone feel guilty for not wanting to parent are.

What is a "whole family"? I don't think that a 14 year old single mother is any more of a whole family than a loving couple who is stable, established, and ready.

I think we fail our children (who aren't necessarily children anymore) by trying to force our opinions on them.

Answer 8

It just depends. Parenting is a big responsibility. When you're a pregnant 14 year old whose family struggles day to day with a single mother and four other siblings I know adoption is often a welcome choice to some birth mothers.

Answer 9

absolutely, the basic unit of a community begins with the family, if the family are tied together and has strong moral values, i think this world would be a much better place to live.

Answer 10

yes and no.

yes, it is the community, no, humanity's, first and most important responsibility to help bring up and help the young. they're the future, after all.

young mothers, putting all religion aside, are not very good in the long run. I am NOT saying it can't work out fine; the point here is that young mothers (i assume we mean like teenagers) are not as mentally ready to raise a child. Raising a son or daughter is THE highest and most important thing anyone could do. it is very important that the mother is ready to raise that child to the full extent possible. any less is just making things more difficult.

this is where fathers are vital, too; having a good, strong male role in racing a child is very important. as i said, there are no definites, but any child deserves to be raised by both a caring and supportive and mature set of parents.

It is society's duty to help support and build up the future of humanity. but it is the parents, not the teachers, friends, neighbors, or ministers job, to raise the child.

Answer 11

I think if the parent wants to parent we should support them; however, I am thinking about a case here in Canada (this week) where a young family had their one and three year old die as they were left out in the cold.  They had all the supports at their fingertips and they still made bad decisions as parents.  (they drank)

Let's be clear I am NOT sayinng all young parents are inept, on the contrary I think some parents of all ages are inept and do not have an inherant right to raise there children.  Some people are not made to be parents, and if they can recognize that fact I support adoption.  Let's not convince those not ready to parent to parent, and let's support those birth parents who want to.

Protection of the children is the number one priority.

Answer 12

No, just as society has no business encouraging abortion, or adoption.

Besides, society already supports  parenting with all the resources available to single parents.

Answer 13

I think parents should be given all their options if they want to try to parent then there are resources that can help them. When it comes down to it’s their choice. I don’t believe they should be pressured into adoption or parenting.  Again provide them with all their options and show them resources that would help them out if they choose to parent. This exactly why unbiased people should do the counseling not someone who is going to encourage one way over the other.  There are some people who know they aren’t ready to be parents or know they are not parent material, lets face it there are a lot of people in this world who should not be parents.

Did you know that some girls now get their periods as young as 8 years old? So would people say these girls are ready to reproduce?  I don’t think so just because someone gets their cycle does not mean they are ready to reproduce they aren’t ready completely physical nor emotional.