Should sons and daughters be raised differently? Were you?

Question

When I was growing up (i'm 25 now), I had two older brothers and we were all raised very similarly with the same expectations. So it seems strange to raise children very differently (granted, I took up some more traditionally female activities than my brothers did). How were you raised and how do you intend to raise your children?

Answer 1

I was raised like my brothers (apart from our differing interests). My sister was raised differently, perhaps because she was the only girl.

Happily I wasn't told about the ins and outs of menstruation, no boys need to be told that. It ruins your days model-making and fishing(!)

Answer 2

realistically speaking people dont raise boys&girls the same way. typically people are tougher on guys & more comforting to girls. because guys are supposed to grow up to be "menly" men and women are usually seen as softer more gentle specimens. not that particularly the right way its just what happens sometimes.

my experience i think is a little unique. my father raised me like a son and my mother raised me to be a "lady". my father took me to sporting events, coached me in sports, when i got hurt he told me to "man up"! the made me do push ups as punishment.... i've even heard him tell ppl in a playful manner that he'd had a son. i know he was joking so it didnt bother me. but my mother had a different approach....

she took me to get my nails done when my dad went out of town, she took me to ballet&dance practice, she always wanted to pick me up if i had fallen down, etc.

lol... i think i got the best of both worlds. my dad is the reason i could bench press more then some dudes as a freshmen in high school and hold a record for the most trophies won in single sport in one season(6 in football, and i'm serious) at the local boys&girls club. he made me tough and i thank him for that. however, my mother is the reason my purse always matches my  outfit, my nails always look neat, and i've been the captain of every dance team i've been on since high school. she's the reason i embrace my femininity and feel equivalent to any man i meet.

i feel like a very well rounded individual because of my upbringing and wouldnt trade it for the world.

i think every child should get an equal balance of nurturing & tough love. the same basic principles apply to every human. respect fellow man, yourself, and those before you. be honest, do the right thing etc.....

Answer 3

I think that each child should be raised differently. I don't think that a child who's a girl should be told she has to stay at home while a child to the same family who's a boy is told to go to college. I think similar expectations should be set up, but I don't believe that they should be treated exactly the same. I know my brother and I don't react to the same thing the same way. We have different interests and while we're similar some ways, we're very different at the same time. So, in a way, yes I think that people should be treated differently based on their personality. But I don't think that the reason for being treated differently should be gender.

I, personally, wasn't raised really to believe stereotypical rules about women or anything. My parents treated me what I would consider to be 'normal'. They punished me as normal and encouraged I pursue my education. They didn't force me into anything. They let me choose who I wanted to be, really. My brother they've done the same with. The only way we've been treated differently is that my parents signed me up for different things because I'm interested in them and he's not. The other way is in punishments. When I was a child saying 'no' to me normally worked with a time-out. My brother would just laugh at you if you told him 'no', so they found other punishments for him. Like taking away privileges. My parents are encouraging both of us to work as hard as we can in school, to go to schools that are very good, and to pursue what we love. Unfortunately, there are the occasional clashing points with good schools and our interests, like I love music, but it's a hard profession to go through. They're telling me this and my dad, who's in music, is also talking to me about it. The same with my brother, while he's not interested in music, he's interested in being a 'video game tester'. My parents know it's not a realistic career and remind him of that, but still support him if that's what he wants to do. So, I'd say my parents virtually treat us the same.

EDIT: (A previous answer inspired this) Also, I think that both boys and girls should be taught the basics of s*x ed, maybe not at the same time as the other, but they really should. I mean, I know my younger brother doesn't really know about periods yet, but I think that he should at least know a bit about that sort of thing. Same thing with girls, I think perhaps not when they're in middle school, but if they don't know by high school about guys and erections and the such, then their parents really should talk to them about that.

Answer 4

Well it ll matters on the person's personalities they have. Each person have different personalities in them of which kind of chromosomes come from each parent that makes everyone different. The person could need medical assistance or something. Each person could need more mothering and one could do things their selves.

Answer 5

No, they shouldn't. It's 2008. I won't force her to be a tomboy, but I wouldn't make her be a girly-girl.

Answer 6

I was raised with the same expectations had I been a guy. My dad always told me that he wants me in sports and if I ever became a cheerleader he'd be mad at me. My dad used to get me mekkano building sets when I was in my preteens and so on. Although, I still got to play with dolls and barbies a lot, just those also. My dad even sometimes played barbies with me lol! I was raised and have a strong bond with my dad more so than with my mom. It's just the way it turned out. He is more like me. My dad raised me to never start violence, but if someone is hurting me and I cannot walk away or get help, to do self defense. And so on.

Everyone should be raised differently depending on their personalities and needs. It should not just be the stereotypical boy-girl thing.

Answer 7

I came from a family that only had daughters and I have a daughter-only family myself so I'm not really aware that boys and girls should be raised differently. When I was a child, I had to mow the lawn or take out the trash, just like my sister did. We didn't do any gender stereotyped household chores. If anything, I think I did more of the chores normally assigned to boys because I was more active and I hated them less than cooking or cleaning house.

Answer 8

I think children should be raised equally and good parents will allow their children to have all kinds of oppertunites to explore what they are good at, and then they can nuture whatever talents they are good at. There's the old joke : 'Can you play the piano?' 'I don't know, I've never tried' and it's true. If you don't allow your boys to do art, cook etc as well as everything else then they may have a talent or interest they never knew exsisted. The same with girls and sports etc.

I had an older brother and sister to I played with all their old toys combined and although my parents were traditional in themselves I would do some activitis like art, cooking, sewing etc with mum and then DIY, washing the car and playing football with my DAd.

I think this is the correct way to be, because as an adult I feel happy with who I am. I am feminine and enjoy cooking, makeup dancing etc yet still play football, videogames etc.

Answer 9

Not differently about the love, respect, attetion, etc. that parents must give to thei children, but there should be a difference when it comes to each kid´s personality. I mean, discipline should be the same for everebody in the house, but some learn faster than others, some are more independent and some are not. We were raised this way. But we all felt loved, and taken care of, and special. Each one of us had a place, a role, in the family´s dinamic. So far, I have just a little boy. Difference among the sexes isn´t a bad thing, so there is no reason to make a big deal out of it. It is better to teach kids to respect the differences and embrace all the things we have in common, wich are the most.