My biological parents divorced around 5 years ago and both are remarried to different spouses now. While this situation affected me in the past, it doesn't so much anymore since I'm 19. But I'm still curious as to what others think of this considering I have a 14-year-old sister.
My father remarried about 3 years ago, only a month after my mother remarried. Since my dad remarried, my younger sister and I have been on the back-burner to nearly everyone else in his life: including his new wife, step-daughter, and mother whom he hasn't spoken to in years.
Now I'm all for having a healthy relationship with your parents. But when your grandmother encourages your own father to not help you financially (or any other way), then I think something needs to be done. My grandmother has never been there for me or my sister throughout our entire lives, yet she takes my step-sister (who is only a month younger than me) shopping nearly weekly. There were tensions between my father's mother and my mother while my parents were still married, but that's another issue for another time.
Anywho, growing up, my sister and I were Daddy's girls. I mean he would do anything for us. He used to brag about how his girls were going to go to college and become something great. He used to take us on vacations, to the park... just dad things.
That was until 3 years ago. More specifically, when he remarried. I'm going into my third year of college and haven't seen a dime from him, despite my asking him about it repeately. And it's not like I'm trying to mooch. I work full time during the summers and part time while classes are in session. And I didn't go to a fancy school... I go to a cheaper university so that I can afford it and won't be paying back loans for the rest of my life. My mother is financially in a rut right now because of bills that my father left her with, so I haven't seen much help from her either. (Not to say that she hasn't helped. It seems that every spare penny she has goes to help my sister and me out.)
About 6 months ago my sister found out that he had dropped both of us from his health insurance. She found out by going to the doctor and being denied because she didn't have health insurance anymore. My father didn't call or anything to warn us... just dropped us from it.
He refused to visit me while I was away at college because his wife didn't want to come... yet he paid for my step-sister to go a private, out-of-state college. (Keep in mind here that he hasn't helped me one bit.)
He refuses to pay child support for my sister (even though it's court-ordered) because she doesn't ever want to see him or his wife. He claims he can't afford it, yet he makes more money than my mother and step-father combined and his wife doesn't work.
And now that I've given a bit of background info, back to the point of all of this. It may not seem so by someone just reading this, because this knowledge comes from years and years of experience. Just take my word on this: my step-mother is a main component in all of this.
It's obvious to me (and hopefully to anyone reading this) that my father chose his new family over his biological one. Despite years of trying to talk some sense into him (for my sister's sake), tensions have only grown. Here is my question:
In a remarriage situation, should the parent's new spouse come before the parent's biological children? If so, to what extent and at what price?
Anyone in this situation, or anyone with an opinion on the matter, please let me know what you think!
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