Should the adoption process be made easier and quicker?

Question

Should the state abolish regulations that make it less likely for children IN THIS COUNTRY who are in need of a stable home life from being adopted by married couples IN THIS COUNTRY at the earliest possible opportunity, rather than allowing these children to be emotionally damaged after years spent in care and foster homes because of a lengthy and bureaucratic adoption process that favours job-creation for social workers rather than the best interests of the child and adoptive parents?

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Answer 1

I don't know about this country because I was adopted overseas. But I do think that the legal stuff makes parents focus more on something temporary than on actually preparing for being an adoptive parent. It's like getting ready for a wedding and getting so wrapped up in the details that people miss the big picture that they are making a decision to spend a lifetime with someone else. That is exactly what it's like because adoptive parents will be that child's adoptive parents forever.

Answer 2

I disagree... Perhaps we had a good experience, but I found the process of Foster-to-adopt relatively easy.  I have a family member who did a private adoption and their process was no easier or quicker than ours was.  

Yes, there were some 'hairy' moments when we didn't know what was going on with the case.  Yes, the process took 2 years.  Yes, we were constantly nagged to complete paper work.  Yes, we lived with a constant worry that licensing would show up and cite us for having our laundry detergent too low or a pack of noodles past its expiration date.  But, in the end, all of those things made sense and weren't that bad.

I believe that people hear the horror stories.  They hear about 'crack babies', sexual acting out, licensing agents citing for minor c**p, threats from birth parents, etc.  However, all of these things are either rare or you go into them aware that they are possible (and so can 'deal' with them).

Answer 3

Yes. It is tragic that children are withheld in the US system for the only reason of being PC. The proof of what happens to children left to languish in orphanages/foster care is appalling and is truly unacceptable in this century. But there will always be people who slip through the cracks, sadly. So the process is what it is, which is lousy in my opinion, and definitely in need of reform, until enough of us get fed up with them, and make our voices heard. This is also one of the numerous reasons why I chose to adopt internationally.

As for my experience having gone through the system of international adoption and me being single, it was like having proctologists in my life for 4 years. I even lost my citizenship, temporarily, and I am half Cherokee and my family have been here in the US for 100 plus years. It was an eye opening experience to say the least for myself, my congressman and his staff. (I'm sure I'll get a rash of thumbs down for this from the anti-adoptionists. It is no one's business but I shall add that my family CHOSE not to sign up for the Indian registry for fear of being stereotyped. I tried to adopt a Native American child when I first began the process but their rules will not allow anyone to do this who have not "enrolled" on this list.)

Regardless, I am not a big fan of bureaucrats.

So true BPD & Momof2.

Answer 4

In a word: no.

The solution to these problems lies in education.  Because most of us Americans (well, most of western culture) have lost touch with our natural human instincts, we have not been parented properly and need to re-learn how it should be done.

Without education, we have proven that we repeat our own parenting.  Those who were abused abuse; those who were neglected neglect, those who were spanked spank; those who suffered emotional abuse will emotionally abuse, and so on.

Because most people think they are normal - despite the quality of their upbringing - they think, "if it was good enough for me, it's good enough for my children.  After all, I turned out okay."  Don't be too sure.

High school health education needs to include proper parenting.  I'm talking about the emotional/psychological aspects - not how to change diapers or choose a safe cage ... er... crib.

When young people learn what proper parenting should look like, I believe they will be far more careful about s*x as well as how they raise their eventual children.  

We keep trying to fix the problem by sticking our fingers in the d**e instead of reducing the forceful flow to a healthy stream.  That won't work.  The dam will break, if it hasn't already broken.  As it is, 30% of American children are abused as I write this.

P.S.  What is an "anti-adoptionist?"  For that matter, what is an "adoptionist?"  Just curious.

Answer 5

Yes! Slap the cash on the counter and receive your newly packaged person gift. Kinda like buying a virtual pet at walmart.

*rolls eyes*

The current system is in place to safeguard the children. If anything it should include far more support and scrutiny in the home after the adoption is finalized.

You mean to honestly say that things like this below don't give you cause for concern?

"In an article by Vivian Song published in the April 2, 2006 Toronto Sun, she says Ontario Deputy Chief Coroner Dr Jim Cairns presides over the deaths of about 70 children a year involved with CAS. This is the highest reported death rate, but the article does not define what is meant by "involved". On January 25, 2007 reporter Haley Mick in the Globe and Mail quoted Mr Cairns saying approximately 80 children die each year with open CAS files. The number includes deaths in foster care plus in-home deaths of children under watch."

If even one of those deaths is at the hands of a foster or prospective adopter it is TOO many. These are people who are suppose to be above any kind of violence or negligence in regards to children. If we can not trust the Children's Service agencies and we can not trust the people they place the children with then who is protecting these kids?

Same goes for adoption... no matter how you look at it old rules need reassesing.

Answer 6

I am a birth mother to a 7 year old daughter, I am a bio mother to a 5 year old son and now to expand our family we have to adopt due to medical reasons with me.

Before I became a birthmother I looked at all the agenices, their policies etc...I would have NOT choosen one that didn't do the screening, the back ground checks, health exams etc...I didn't want to place my child in the hands of convicted or accused child molester, charges/convictions of battery etc...Sure people can change after the adoption is finalized, but that is the main reason that I choose open adoption. So I can still see the enviroment and the well being of my child for

years to come.

Now on the adoptive side, sure it is a lot of "leg work" but worth every minute of it  (The birth mom is going through enough tough decisions as is, and needs one less worry if possible), to ensure her we are not any of the list I mentioned above.  The fees should be lowered a lot in my opinion, and that alone would allow more people to adopt.  The agency we are looking at to go through (the same one I placed with) their start fees are $8,000! Seriously who has that laying around?  Don't get me wrong we are not poor and finacially stable to provide for two children.   If the best interest of the child is what everyone is suppose to be looking at, then why does agencies/lawyers charge that much.

Answer 7

While we were going through the adoption process, I couldn't have agreed with you more.  However, once the dust settled down, I realized that most of this process is required to keep our children safe.  If the process was easier or cheaper, we would risk our children going into unsafe homes where they could be possibly be abused.  If lengthy procedures protect just one child, then it is all worth it.

Answer 8

I think more people would open their homes to foster care if there weren't so many silly hoops to jump through.  Yes, background checks and homestudies are needed to make sure that married couples are fit to be good parents, but there are other requirements that could be minimized.  Where I live, there are way more children in need of foster care than there are foster parents and I think a lot of it is because of all the extra requirements that aren't really necessary.

Answer 9

Personally, I think the criteria for adopting needs to stay the same, or be made tougher.

However, I know what you're referring to, and I agree, some of the beaurocratic nonsense needs to be cut, and the process should focus on all the parties involved instead of agency fees.

Answer 10

With all due respect perhaps instead of pissing and moaning on YA you should get involved with adoption reform initiatives

Answer 11

I would have to say no. I say this because i feel that there should be closer screening of adoptive parents, counseling for birth mothers so the best interest of the child involved takes the fore-front. When I say closer screening of adoptive parents-i mean that not any couple or person should be allowed to adopt a child. Let's face it in this day and age, there are so people out there that should not have child, either they be biological or adoptive. Some people are not meant to be parents. I also say counseling for the birth mother because- it needs to make sure she completely understands the choice she is making. Is there programs to help the mother to keep her chlild. I mean giving up rights to a child is a very hard decision and she would need to know all avenues that could help her before she makes up this desiscion. I mean i know there are cases because of the mother's lifestyle where this is can not happen. But for the other cases, a birth mother should be well informed. If we make the adoption process easier and quicker all involved could get hurt. That is not in the best interest of the child. I completely understand about the children in the foster care system and the long process of adoption. it's like a catch 22,  you don't want them in the foster care system too long, but you want to protect them from the people that may abuse the adoption system.(sadly there are some out there).