Should the guy still pay if it is not a date?

Question

We are going out, but she doesn't believe in dating or that's what she says. She is a christian and a lot of christian women have this belief. Guys would you split the check?

Answer 1

Yes, when I was dating, I was happy to pay my fair share.

A guy's money doesn't impress me--the good person that he is is what impresses me.

And if he wasn't a good person and I was ready to say goodbye, I was more than happy to pay to settle up the score and make my escape.

Answer 2

Im old school and would insist that I pay, but "dutch" seems to be PC thing to do nowadays

Answer 3

Any woman who would f*ck you just because she coerced you into paying for dinner is worthy of only being used for one night, and then never seen again.

.

Answer 4

Well, If she doesn't believe in dating, you shouldn't be going out with her in the first place. Unless it's with a group of people. But no, you shouldn't pay.

Answer 5

Why pay for someone else?  Why not slit the check?  This is the 21st century.  And where in the Bible does it say that man has to pay for his female friend?  Or even for his wife for that matter?

Answer 6

I'd split it, and I'm a girl.

Answer 7

So paying for dinner entitles you to make sexual advances on a female? If you asked her to dinner you pay, pretty simple.

Answer 8

no way! Women want equality give it to us!  

Answer 9

Vot says men pay ALL the time. Even if it means asking the girl for a loan....

Answer 10

Whoever asked for the date (or non-date) should pay, regardless of gender.  If that makes her uncomfortable, go dutch.  If I were out with a male friend, I'd insist on paying for half of the evening regardless of who asked.

Answer 11

If you asked her to go out with you (date or not) you should either pay or get this sorted before you meet up. I'm wondering if your interpretation of the word date is different from mine. I'm quite old and in my young days a date simply meant going out - to the cinema, for a coffee or a meal, or even just a walk - with a member of the opposite s*x. Any payment involved was the gentleman paying for the lady. If he couldn't afford to pay for anything the activity would have been a walk and a talk, getting to know each other.

Sadly, these days, many people use the term dating meaning spending an hour or two together in various ways at the end of which he takes her back to his place for MORE THAN a coffee.  

If this is what YOU mean by the word DATE then it sounds as if you are prepared to pay for a date that will end up with you getting just what you want - s*x - (which it seems is not what she wants)  but think the bill should be shared if you do not get what you want.

To my way of thinking that is 'paying for s*x' and is no different from paying for it in a brothel.

If I have completely misunderstood you please come back with an edit and explain what you and she mean by the term 'date'.

Added later.

Well having read all the answers that got through just ahead of mine it seems that I wasn't off target at all.  From what many of you are saying it would seem that you think a girl has only one use in life. What a sad lot you are. My comment about a brothel was absolutely correct. Remember you are turning your own bedrooms into brothels by this behaviour. Shame on you men.

Answer 12

Either way is O.K.  If you split the bill then you're each paying your own way, each being responsible for your own part.  If you pay, then you're doing a favour.  What's wrong with doing a favour, unless she doesn't want it of course?

Why are you struggling with this?  You don't have to.

To be honest, I've never really understood differentiating "dating" either.  I just like to go out with who I like to go out with.  If I'm out with my girlfriend, then I guess you could call it a "date", but I'm just out with my girlfriend.  Why the label?

Answer 13

If she's someone you go out with regularly, why not take turns paying.  I always think it's less awkward to pay the whole bill one time and let the other person pay the next time.  Just say "I'll get this one.  You can get it next time."  If she doesn't go to pay the next time, then split it.

Answer 14

I'd pay anyway, better chance of some action later on in the night if you butter her up.

Answer 15

if it's not a date, then split the check.  sounds to me like she's trying to have it both ways.  she's manipulating you.

Answer 16

"Guys would you split the check?"

That depends on what kind of sexual activity she was willing to engage in.  

Answer 17

let her know your plans before going out  

Answer 18

i am not a guy, but i can tell you that i have a friend that takes me out to eat, but i pay for mine.  so often men think because they pay that, they deserve thanks by getting something more.  so, i prefer to pay.

on the other hand, i know of someone who was going out, like you are, but the man never paid.  she complained about it a lot,  she ended up marrying the guy who took her out and always paid for stuff.  sad to say, but it is not fair to men, because most of the time women who say, we are not dating still expect the man to pay for the simple reason he is a guy.  how much does this girl mean to you?  how important is the relationship?  do you see her as someone you might marry one day.  if so, as unfair as it is, pay, because it may pay off for you later. like an investment. since she is a christian, she should appreciate it and not just use you.  best wishes to you both.

Answer 19

I'd split it.

Answer 20

If you invited her, you pay.

that´ll teach you a lesson

Let her pay half of it, or the better..ask the waiter for separate bills from start

Answer 21

No if I respected and had some interest in the woman.

I am from the old school. Open the door for a woman, ladies first, etc.

If I can't do that for a woman it is because I don't respect her and will avoid her company.

If a woman strongly rejects my signs of respect our values are too different to continue an association.