Should the household money be pooled together to pay bills?

Question

My sister and her husband have separate checking and savings account. But not because she's afraid of financial problems. She says she makes $ 55,000 a year and he makes $ 27,000 so why should he live like he makes $ 55,000 when he doesn't. The point being that she doesn't want a situation where he has taken money out to buy like a $300 tool box and she wants to buy a $ 3,000 dress and can't because he either used the money up already or he tells her she can't use "their" money for that. So they just go half on everything. Even the down payment on a house. (that's not to say that he don't give her money or she him if he is running short or whatever.) They my sister has 2 kids from a previous relationship and the father pays child support. But her husband even goes half and half on the things the kids need! My mother and father think they are crazy. What do you think?

Answer 1

It should be base an percentages, because other wise he is paying too much.

Answer 2

Crazy

Answer 3

My husband & I live the same way.  It just depends on what works for that couple.  You don't have to understand it as long as they're happy.  I live off unemployment b/c I was laid off & I just barely make my bills.  I pay rent, utilities, my car pymnt, insurance, cell phone, etc.  My husband has NO debt at all & just has a blast with his money.  Sure it sucks sometimes but the tables will turn again when I go back to work.  I personally don't want to be involved with his money & I don't want him involved with mine.  We don't have the same ideas on spending so this is just a way to not argue about it.  He does his thing & I do mine.  No questions asked.  It takes a lot of pressure off of us.  I don't want to explain anything & neither does he.  Bottom line is it works when both parties are happy with the arrangement.

Answer 4

I think that is an interesting situation and i wonder how she would feel if he was the one making more money...

That would never be the situation in my marriage because what is mine is his and vice versa.

Answer 5

money is the biggest problem in every marriage.  your sister and her husband needs to sit and talk about why they can't pool their money together.  i believe that what ever money they make needs to be pooled together but that's just my opinion.

Answer 6

I think separate account are a good idea but there should be a household account also.  Your sister sounds kinda snobbish with the why should he live like he makes 55,000 and I feel kinda bad for her husband.

Answer 7

My wife and I have one bank account and one checkbook and a budget!  We have for almost 12 years and we have NEVER fought about money.  

Answer 8

it's interesting because the figures you are using are the same my husband and I have-  it's our money.  We decide mutually on purchases outside of the day to day.  

Answer 9

I agree with your parents. He sounds crazy to want to live like that. I don't even mean having separate accounts, I mean living with a manipulative, controlling woman. If this was a woman hearing things like this from her husband (why should she live like she makes 55k when she doesn't, expected her to pay half of the expenses, and chip in with things his kids needed), everyone would be telling her to get out, because she has a controlling husband.

Answer 10

My wife and I have separate accounts, but the bills are spread out among us.  I make more, so I pay more of the bills.  It works fine.  As there is a 2 to1 ration on their finances, she should be paying 2/3 of the price, he 1/3.  Or spread out the bills so that she is taking care of 2/3rds of it, and he the other.  I take care of the Mortgage, lights, cable, water, phone and cellphones; and she takes care of the Tithe, insurance, private school tuition for our son, food, and her car note.  I spend more because I make more.  We both end up with about the same amount of money to spend by the end of the month.  

This whole thing about "why should he live like he makes $ 55,000 when he doesn't" is rather selfish.  If they are partners, they should each be living as if they made 41,000 (1/2 of their total income).  Then there would be no inequity, as each is sharing the load.  It is shameful that she feels entitled to more spending money than the man she is married to.  If she is not careful, she may have more dollars, but less sense (and a second ex.).  

Dr.G

Answer 11

It's ok to have separate accounts. But I think when 2 people get married they become one person.  Can't be too stingy about money.  

Answer 12

There needs to be a household budget, and both people need to contribute money to the household fund.  Whatever is left over can be seperate.  

Answer 13

they should pull togehetr and pay the bills..but that doesn't mean they have to add there accounts together because. if ur sisters husband cheats on her and they end up not together udon't want her husband  to take all her money now do u???

cuz i know people that would take everything from them...z my dad just took my moms car after they got divorce wen she had me and my other two sisters and she had to keep taking the bus..SOo u don't want ur sister to go threw the same with her kid now do u???...

Answer 14

Many marriages are in deep trouble right now because of finances.

Maybe if we would have taken time to find out each others spending

habits,  and discussed what would be tolerated before we got married, then things would have been different.

Would you have a man/woman who is controlling, obsessive and/or

possessive who does not display self-control when it comes to budgeting, nor allows you to help in monitoring spending and bookeeping handle your finances in a joint account?  I don't think so . . . . .

Another thing, why pay for something the other is purchasing that is of no value to you?    If you buy it, then it is no more than fair for you to

pay for it.  Stop digging a hole for someone else to bail you out of it!

Chances are, you are going to be better off trying to build up your own credit so when things start getting repossessed, you can save your neck and possibly start over.

Answer 15

When it comes to the mortgage, I'm curious to know if it is in both names.  If it is, then both incomes combined of 82,000 was used to qualify them.  If they purchased the home based on this, then she should clearly put in more than 50%, especially if she used qualifying child support as income also.  I'm pretty sure she did not purchase a house based on a lower income of 27,000 on her part.  She is use to a higher living standard than he.  As far as the other stuff, child support is for clothes and stuff.  He should not pay for them.  

Answer 16

well i think that they should put the money together because its all about trust whats the point of being together if you can't trust eachother with the money?

Answer 17

Depends on what works for those 2 people.  If one is better at managing money, then it makes perfect sense to pool the money equitably and let that person handle the joint finances.