Should the kids and i leave unannounced or not?

Question

i have been married for almost three years and it's not getting any better. i been accused of cheating all the times even with teenagers. there is physical, mental and emotional abuse. after our last argument he pleaded for another chance. he said that the only he will be the man he suppose to be is by getting back into church. i didn't say okay or anything. the love is gone. the compassion is gone. there's nothing there on my behalf. should i try it his way this time or leave without telling him. above all i am 2 months pregnant and he is wanting a blood test for our two children. i believe this history has taken a toll on this marriage and it's beyond repair.

Answer 1

i really really hate to say it but id like you to be aware... i am an AVID true crime reader... hahah oh geez

And really, i would leave unannounced for sure. Who knows what he would do to try to get you to stay if he knew u were leaving. You must get out - he will not change. And be really careful for the next while. Make sure that he does not stalk you - that there are NO threats and if there are, take them to authorities asap. Just be careful - he is obviously not stable and has issues deeper than you probably know. Horrible situation for you and the kids but get out doll, and make a life for yourself. He sound like my father and there are MANY better men out there!

Answer 2

Sounds like you have had enough. Make arrangements to leave before it gets any worse.  Why put yourself in any more stress.

Answer 3

If there is a history of abuse, don't announce that you are leaving.  Just take your kids and go when he's not home.  You never know what could set someone off.

Answer 4

Your husband needs to realize what he's doing wrong and he's not going to realize until he notices your absence. As long as you are present, he will grow stronger and you are confiming his accusations. My advice is, based on the emotional, physical and mental abuse you have been subjected to, leave him. Give yourself and your kids breathing space. Love is not a one way street.

Answer 5

Sounds like the marriage is over sorry!

Answer 6

GET OUT NOW

Answer 7

Only you can decide this, but he does sound very insecure and immature. Do what I did and just leave when he is at work one day and if he wants to see the children, then you can arrange a meeting place. No good staying in a relationship when there's no love or compassion. good luck.

Answer 8

There is only so much a person can take.  When you've reached the point where you can't even cry anymore and you've tried everything to make it work then all you can do is walk.

Answer 9

I would be very interested in chatting with you. I have no one to talk to, but an uncanny similarity with my boyfriend.  

Answer 10

What do you call a person that knows there is nothing there for them and they don't know quite "how" to leave it?

I call it confusion .......... or hurricane69!

Don't fog this up any more than it already is. "How to leave" is not the question. When do you leave is!

It doesn't matter whether you call the police for an escort or you creep out while he's sleeping ........... "JUST LEAVE!"

What do you think church is going to solve? If he was a GOD fearing man he wouldn't need to attend a church to be right by you, he would've had that flowing thru his viens already.

p.s. Doing what's best for yourself doesn't have to be favorable or clever ........... as long as you can "exhale" when you'ree done.

Answer 11

If he is abusive then you need to get out because you are right it does not get better.  Believe me I have been there like a idiot I stayed for 10 years ....  

I would just pack up while he was at work one day....  

Answer 12

Run and run fast as you can.  This guy is never gonna change.  He has a trust problem and he's got a problem of insecurity and how you have dealt with it this long is amazing.  You gotta go girl and the sooner the better and don't look back and don't listen to promises as promises are just that and they don't mean anything to him.  Good luck.

Answer 13

Bounce. There is no benefit to staying. Your children will not benefit just because you are married. You both have to be invested and happy with each other. These kids will sense that you two are in a bad relationship. Do you really want them growing up with that kind of example for THEIR relationships as they grow up?