Should the pastor have kept confidentiality?

Question

My son's youth pastor caught him and his girlfriend making out in their car. He told my husband (son's step-father who I was separated from) about this and my son is now upset and won't attend his classes any longer. This same pastor told my husband I had requested to set up an appointment with him and bring along someone else from the church. Do you think he was wrong to pass along this information?

Answer 1

i think this situation is ridiculos. the pastor should of minded his own buisness.  

Answer 2

I thought they were obligated to keep things confidential.

tell your pastor to stop gossiping.

Answer 3

The youth Pastor has a responsibility to look out for the family and protect the young people from immorality.  I believe he did the right thing.  Perhaps he could have pulled your son aside and given him the opportunity to "confess" before blowing the whistle. If the classes that he was attending are biblical sound, he really shouldn't stop attending because he was caught making out. As far as the inviting of the other Church member, he's just citing the Book of Acts where Paul talks about resolving a conflict.  Good luck to your family.

Answer 4

Outside of confession he has no obligation to keep secrets.

However, no one likes a tell tale. Which is probably why he became a priest.

Answer 5

If he knew you and your husband were separated, then he was way wrong for telling him instead of you! And he shouldn't even tell anyone that you made an appointment let alone telling anyone about who you are bringing to an appointment.  He needs a lesson on keeping his mouth shut!  I'd have a talk with him and let him know how upset your Son is and how unhappy you are about his loose tongue!  I sure wouldn't trust him with any important info!

Answer 6

telling your son was making out, no big deal, just looking out for the kid's best interest, but all the other extras is unnecessary, THAT he soulda minded his own business, you're an adult you can inform or chose not to yourself.  

Answer 7

I think that the pastor had done the right thing. He felt it was important for his parents to know what is going on. This way the pastor and the parents can be on the same page and deal with this situation.

The second scenario you had mentioned sounds like it's a completely different set up. That information should have been kept to himself, because you are an adult.

Answer 8

YES, he should have kept his mouth shut. there are people with whom you should be able to trust your life with and your pastor should be one of those people. i do not at all blame your son for not wanting to go back and attend this mans classes, the pastor broke the trust that your son had in him. And Yes,he was wrong in passing a long anything at all that you and him have talked about.  he has no right at all telling people your business. even if that some one is your husband. what kind of world is it coming to when we can't even trust the ones that we hold in high regard?  

Answer 9

This pastors actions are why more and more young people are turning away from religion.  Sexual experiences are a natural thing and its one thing for the pastor to be looking but then ridiculing the lad by telling his step father isn't funny.  Good for your son not wanting to go to a place where someone ridicules and humiliates him.  If your son was doing something illegal then he should have stopped him and mentioned it to YOU.  What is wrong with two kids making out in a car?