Should the person making dinner serve it up?

Question

My fiance makes dinner every once in a while. She'll annouce when its ready and then plate herself up some food from the different pots and pans and go sit down. I always look at her like, "are you kidding?" When I make dinner I always plate the dinner for the person I'm cooking for and make sure they are served first. Am I wrong in expecting her to hand me a plate with the food on it, or should I be happy to complete to final step and put the different parts to the dinner together on my own plate?

Answer 1

I think if someone makes dinner then they should serve everyone as it is the last step to preparing a meal. You should serve the meal you are proud of making for all to enjoy!

I can see the point that she went to the trouble of making - so it should be enough but I feel that the correct etiquette is to serve

Answer 2

Here's a  suggestion. She cooks, you lay the table and plate the food. Both of you clear the table and you and she take turns to clean the dishes and kitchen.

Answer 3

I really think it depends on the person. I just had this convo with a close friend of mine. she didn't fix her husbands plate and he almost had a fit. she said that she was tired, and hungry and wanted to sit down and eat. She cooked dinner, plated two small kids and then herself.

Me, I like to serve the people I'm cooking for, BUT my boyfriend is very independent and for a long time, he wanted to fix his own plate. So I'm boring you to death to say that it's just a matter of what you like. People do different things for different reasons. talk to her and let her know what you like. maybe she'll plate you first on the next go 'round.

Answer 4

Do you clean up after dinner? I don't think it's to be expected that she make you a plate....have you brought this up to her?

I think it should be a give and take thing.

Answer 5

what happened to putting it on the table for passing?

Answer 6

That might be a nice gesture.

However, I am the kind of person who likes doing things for himself.  Therefore, I tend to let people do things for themselves, too (within reason).  I like to fill my own plate during mealtimes.  Perhaps your fiancee is the same kind of person.

Answer 7

If it just the two of you then she should serve it up.

Plating a dish is the final step in food prep.

I always plate my dishes when making dinner for someone, and often will plate dishes for the whole dinning party if the occasion warrants it, especially if it is one of my signature dishes.

If there are more than just the two of you and it is more of a casual dinner and you are just placing the food on a table then it is acceptable for everyone to serve themselves.

Answer 8

It would be a kind thing to do but I don't think it should be a requirement.  I'm guessing that when she's there she does all of the cooking or she would have learned from your example of serving her a plate when you do the cooking.

Answer 9

it matters what resturant you are at are you at spagetti warehouse ,no,olive garden,it matters

Answer 10

Maybe I am old fashioned but I put the food in serving dishes and bring it to the table where people can serve themselves each dish that is passed. That is how I was raised and how I would/will do it if/when it is my husband and me at home.

Answer 11

Dont be so lazy and seldish. If she makes the dinner the least you could do is dish it up for yourself...

Answer 12

In formal settings, like someone you live with, why not just dish yourselves. That's how my family did it. You never know how much someone wants. If you want to go the extra mile that's fine, but don't let it ruin your relationship.

But if it was done with guests that would be awkward, as they don't feel comfortable in someone else's kitchen.