Should the wife be told her husband is sending erotic pictures?

Question

Five months ago this man's wife found out that her husband had been having an affair with his old girlfriend from college. He repented and promised her never to see or talk to her again. They started couple therapy. What the wife doesn't know was how serious the relationship really was, how emotionally close they were and how long things had really been going on. Well, he never stopped contact. At first the contact was to help the other woman's broken heart. When the other woman finally told him he didn't need to stay in contact to help her, but he could if he wanted to... he stayed in contact. He has done her favors, even giving her money, regularly emailed her, seen her a couple of times, promised to stay her friend, and more recently they have been sending erotic pics of themselves to each other. They even talked about having s*x, but decided not to 'right now.' It is only a matter of time and opportunity before these two fall into each other's arms. They will never stop being in contact, shouldn't someone tell the wife? She is still being duped in a way? He may not be cheating in the same way, but in my book this stuff would be a deal breaker.

Answer 1

Yes. I think I would tell if I knew.

Answer 2

Yes, she should be told about what a "man" she married, she deserves to be happy, and if by you telling her this, you will be doing her a favor, she trusted him once, and she can't trust him again, she has to trust you.

You deserve to tell her, she needs you to have her back at this time.

That is what friends are for.

Friends are forever, boyfriends, or husbands come and go.

Answer 3

If I were the wife being mentioned here, I'd definitely want to be told.  She has a right to know.

Answer 4

If you are a third party to this (and not the woman receiving/sending the pictures) then my advice is to steer clear of this.

Let's say you mention it to his wife. What will this accomplish? As much as you may believe otherwise, you're not doing her any real favors. You also run the risk of the husband exerting his influence over her and the possibility she'll believe her husband isn't doing this and that you have other designs, which is why you interfered with their 'healing' of the relationship.

So I say to say nothing. More often than not these things have a way to backfire. And if she ever finds out on her own, never tell her you knew anyway. It's best to let it go. Especially since (I assume) it doesn't directly affect you.

Answer 5

this is the kind of info that the wife needs to know.  That man is still cheating.  

Answer 6

If I were the wife, I would want to be told. There is nothing like trying hard to make things work with your husband and thinking he is doing the same thing, when all he can think about is the time when he can go have s*x with this girl.  I also would feel extremely guilty if I knew about something like this and didn't say something.

Answer 7

If I were the wife I would definitely hope someone that is honest would tell me. She will be hurt no matter what, it would be best to tell her now before she continues her false hope with her husband.  If you are a true friend to the wife or if you know someone who is please have them tell her in confidence, it will have to be someone the wife trusts.  I would make sure you had evidence because she may not believe you or whom ever tells her.  I think it is so wrong of the husband, if he doesn't want to be faithful then he should divorce. How much more disrespectful can a husband be. I hope he loses everything.

Answer 8

He still wants the other woman. All ties need to be severed. Someone needs to send a copy of his e-mail contact with the other woman to his wife. He is an out and out liar and loser for stringing along his poor wife. She wants it to work, and he doesn`t care. Time to kick this guy to the curb for good...

Answer 9

Tell the wife this and yes the man is a cheater if they are sending pics of each other

Answer 10

yeah the wife deserves to know that her husband is slime