Should this be my responsiblity?

Question

I have a 13 yr old daughter and she only sees him once a year, however, I am always telling her to call her dad. It has been about a month since she came back from her yearly visit with him. So today, I asked her if she had called her dad lately. She says, "Has he called me lately?" The answer to that question is no he hasn't.

So I call her dad to tell him what she said. I start with. Tori said a funny thing today....

He says I don't find that funny at all. It wouldn't hurt her to call me every now and then, she only calls me when you tell her too.

So my question is. Should this be my responsiblity? Should I make her call him every week? Or should the reponsibity lie on him?

By the way. Even after the conversation with him, he didn't call her.

Answer 1

well you try for her to call him, and the responsibility should be 50/50, he should also call her  

Answer 2

it is not your responsibilty OR hers..i can see her side..she is at the age now to realize things going on around her especially if her daddy isnt calling her. the responsibily is HIS.  If i were you i wouldnt make her call him..she has a point and obviously he doesnt think its very important to call her..which probably hurts her feelings...i would see how long he goes without calling her..if a significant amount of time goes by and he still doesnt call her..call him and literally TELL HIM OFF about how he is not calling HIS little girl. he may get a wake up call after you do so. sorry to hear about this kind of situation its tough.

Answer 3

Me and my father were really close until he decided to move to hawaii. (i live in california and him and my mom are divorced) I cried when he left and he promised to keep in touch.

He NEVER calls, he NEVER visits, and HE never helps out financially with me. But truth is, I don't want to talk to him if he's that kind of person. If he can't care for a big part of his life. So I decided that if he cares enough to want to talk to me, then he can call me when he wants. Because the father is older, and is supposed to be more mature. So let him take the responsibility i think.

Answer 4

I'm kinda in the same situation.When my dad does call he's like"Why haven't you called me." And in the back of my mind I'm like if you really wanted to talk to me you would've called me. So try to talk to both of them and tell them it's should be 50/50 and they should try to call each other equally.

Answer 5

I  tthink  he  loves  his  daughter  but  some  problem  is there.

so  he  can't  call.. Try  to  discover  it  and  act  to it.  Also  always  

act  as  your  heart  tells  you.

Answer 6

You have a smart girl.

He's the adult, shame on him, suggesting she should call.

He's the dad, and he's spending so little time with her.

This is not your responsibility, not at all.

Take care,

Answer 7

It is not your responsibility exactly. She has a very valid point. She doesn't want to call a man who obviously could care less if she does. His statement to you is a cop-out. At lease she calls at all.

But that said, you should do everything you can to foster the relationship between the two of them. I don't know the situation, but is it possible that this is just a rough patch for them? You don't want her to resent you later perceiving you as keeping them apart. As in, you didn't want me to call him anyway, mom! Teenagers are good at twisting logic.

But I agree with him, it isn't funny...

Answer 8

you should let your daughter visit her dad more my parents were divorced when i was four years old and i see my dad ever other weekend since i have been four and my parents live 200 miles apart because of this i have grown up with great relationships with my dad and my mom but they are seperated and my stepmom is a witch and my stepdad is a control freak so i don't really like the divorce i have been in the car so much i can basically live in one. The thing you need to do is let your daughter see her father more often if that isn't possible funds time distance then you should force your ex husband to call your daughter some how. Im seventeen right now so i have had to deal with my parents being divorced basically my entire life that i can remember.

Answer 9

I think it should be your daughter's decision also there maybe something on Tori's mind i think  you should talk to her and see what is wrong

Answer 10

I think the responsibily should be on both of them. It shouldn't be your fault cuz youre not the one involved with the calling. It should be up to them to call each other.

Answer 11

Honestly, I rarely call my dad. And i'm in pretty much the same situation. My mother will occasionally say, "When was the last time you talked to your dad?" But she doesn't force me to call him. I love my dad, alot, but I mostly email him. She could try that.

Answer 12

Talk to your daughter. Does she want to talk to her father? If not, then she shouldn't have to talk to him. If she does, then it should be the responsibility of both parents to arrange times to call when your daughter is available to talk.

Answer 13

no its shouldnt be your responsiblity nor should it be your daughters.

You should remind her dad that he is the adult in the relationship and leave it at that.

I wouldnt want to call someone who never calls me and couldnt care less if i called...

Answer 14

He is the adult. Don't make her call him. My mom always treid to make me call my Father and I never knew why. He never called me...never made any effort to create a relationship....he's probably like my Father and believes he deserves respect just for simply being her Father.