Should we go ahead and marry???

Question

My fiance and I have been engaged for 12 years now, and we have finally set a wedding date. Problem is, we just found out that my father dated my fiance's late mother 15 years ago, just before he and I met. My fiance feels that since our parents got together first, we are already related and thus cannot marry (it is illegal to marry a relative where we live).

Should we go ahead? Or should we cancel? I have waited 12 years for this man to make up his mind about me!! Help!!!

Answer 1

If you have been waiting on this guy for 12 years and now he is having some sort of a doubt.. I don't think you should be marrying him. Sorry but.. it sounds wrong.

Answer 2

I think you should ask him if he's trying to weasel his way out of the engagement.

That's what it sounds like to me.

Answer 3

I wonder what it is that your fiance is really worried about.  As others have said, you're not related in any way - neither biologically nor by marriage, since his mother and your father did not marry.  So I think there must be something else going on.  It would be simplistic just to assume he doesn't really want to be with you - he has stuck around for these 12 years, so there IS a real commitment.  

What does getting married mean to you?  Why do you want the legal contract?  Maybe your fiance just has a different sense of it and possibly fears that it will be a strait-jacket, rather than eg a public acknowledgement of the existing commitment.  But I can only assume that there is something in the meaning that marriage has for each of you that is somewhere the stumbling block.

Answer 4

No, you shouldn't go ahead and marry.

He's not ready to get married. He's kept you hanging on for 12 years. And this is the best excuse he can come up with to not marry? He's digging deep in order to not marry you.

You deserve better. Cancel the wedding.

Answer 5

I don't think this guy will EVER marry you.  It took twelve years to get to this point!  Are you a saint or something?  Nobody needs 12 years to figure out what they are doing.

And now the latest excuse which holds no water at all.

Next he'll be saying that he can't marry you on such and such a date because his toenail trimming is scheduled for that date.  Dump this fool and find someone who appreciates you.

Answer 6

you aren't related, they DATED, and she's dead......

Answer 7

Are you serious? That's retarded. You should cancel and look for a man who really wants to marry you. Or, have your dad break out his shotgun.

Answer 8

You are NOT related, so either he's incredibly stupid or he's looking for a way to get out.

Answer 9

you guys are not related, DATING!

but yeah if you think he is the one you should marry, if he is making lame *** excuses like this then dump him.

Answer 10

That is by far the lamest excuse i have ever heard!  Do your self a favor and move on.  This guy has made you wait 12 years and now he's making more excuses.  You don't deserve that!  Find a man that isn't going to drag you through the dirt.  

You aren't related, your parents never married and even if they had, you have no blood relation AT ALL!

Answer 11

lame excuse.

you are not relative.

It is just only "DATED"

Think twice before dicided

Answer 12

If you are magically related to someone through dating, then you are already related to your fiance and you can't marry him anyway.

That's flawed thinking.  If your dad and his mom were married, it would be one thing, but dating isn't marriage.

It sounds like your fiance has cold feet and may be regretting the engagement.  Find out what's really going on in his head.

Answer 13

I think he is making excuses!

You could find a better man.

You've wasted 12 years, don't waste any more.

Answer 14

You seriously waited for this man 12yrs and are buying this lame excuse, move on sister.

Answer 15

I'm no expert but to my knowledge dating a person does not make them a relative.Unless they were married or had a child together,or shared a life together as a couple. No were that I know considers dating making you a relative in anyway. If it makes both of you a little uncomfortable talk about it,get past it and move on with your lives together. 12 years is long enough to wait and too long to throw it away now. Best wish's and lots of happiness to both of you.

Answer 16

Goodness, that is an excuse if I ever heard one!  Harsh truth-- that guy is scared to marry you.  Aside from the fact it took him TWELVE YEARS to ask,,, that silly thing about your parents dating 15 years ago is a dead-giveaway.

You're comfortable for him... like an old pair of jeans so you're still together.  But you deserve someone who is DYING TO MARRY YOU!

Best advice-- go on match.com and find some new dates. There are many many fish in the sea, and someone out there would give anything to marry you-- obviously not that guy.