Should we have a baby in our situation?

Question

Very happily married. Both want kids. I am 31, husband 42.

Problems: He is on a low salary with limited job prospects.

I have a great career and high salary.

So, we really hope that I would continue work (I want to, not only for financial reasons) and he would be a stay-at-home dad (he loves the idea).

BUT, I would only be able to take 2 months max. off after giving birth. Is this realistic? I am new to all of this.

What are everyone's thoughts?

Answer 1

If you want children you should go ahead and have them. In thsi day and age you will not be the only family with a working mum and househusband. I will feel sorry for you as you will miss out on a lot of fun and first moments with your baby but you will miss out altogether if you dont have one. You will also miss out on some of the tedium and humdrum of domestic duties and that wont be a bad thing. There are pluses and minuses to every situation.

If you want to breast feed your baby you should take a breast pump to work and pump oif your milk and keep it in the works fridge. Then your husband can feed it to the child next day. You can also store excess breast milk in the freezer for up to six months.

Best of luck - hope it all works out well.

Answer 2

I think you are in a GREAT situation to have a baby :-D

except the bit were you get  2months of :-o

I think if you are motavated you will be fine though

Answer 3

Try to understand whether you are mainly worried about the short leave or about the fact of changing your life and becoming a mother. It's normal to experience fear and doubts about having a baby. It's actually quite hard to find the "perfect time".

To me those are the basic questions: do you love each other? are you a stable couple? do you reckon your economic condition will grant a confortable life to your baby? And I guess all your answers are yes!

Now the issue: a two month leave is a short time, I think.

Maybe you can add holydays to this, or even some health permit.

Anyway your situation may not change in the next few years, at least you can't really predict that.

The fact that your husband has limited job prospects works in the same direction, he will not give up a great career.

Just try and go for it! Children are the greatest gift.

Best luck!

Answer 4

Stay at home dads are more common these days, I think it sounds good, go for it!

Answer 5

Yes, very realistic, considering you don't have to go on bed-rest due to a risky pregnancy.

When I had my son, I needed money. Since I just worked a desk job & had my own office.. my boss let me set my own hours when first returning back to work.

I was able to go back to work 3 days after I had my son, and he slept next to my desk. And, I only worked a couple hours a day-- It was awesome.

But my mom only took 6 weeks off with me when I was first born & same with my brother.

That's awesome that you guys will make it work with the stay at home dad situation. If I were you, I'd start having kids now.. cause by the time the oldest one graduates high school, mom will be around 50 years old and dad will be 61.

Good lucK~

Answer 6

If you want it to work, it can work!!

I also am in a higher paying job than my husband and have now been on maternity leave coming up 9 months. Financially we are tight on our budget but we make it work. My husband was not up for the idea to be a stay at home dad. I did have the opportunity to return to work earlier, but chose not too as I didn't feel ready to leave my baby in childcare. But you are in the position that your baby will be well cared for at home. Two months is realistic physically after the birth. You may need to decide on some issues ie feeding. Emotionally you may have some issues with leaving your baby and bonding. But overall, I think it can work if you have a supportive husband. Goodluck with it all!!

Answer 7

My family was in the same situation...

My dad was a mechanic and my mother a nursing supervisor.  She had three kids while going to school full time for her nursing degree plus working and my father was on strike.  We survived... And we were a very happy family.  We didnt have abercrombie clothes or cars that were even in the same decade but we were healthy and happy and thats what is important..

2 months is enough time to go back to work.  You might be feeling a little left out when you do go back to work.  But as far as physical health wise.. you should be ok.

Good luck to you and I hope that given your living situation that you dont let that rule whether or not you and your husband have children.  

Just remember... if your concerned about money and want to wait till you can afford children... You will never be able to afford children... You just have ot have them and make it work... =)  GOOD LUCK

Answer 8

We were in the same in situation before our daughter.

He stayed home and took care of the baby while I returned to work since I have the higher salary.  Yeah money was tight for a year or two but then we bounced back.

Answer 9

The older you get, the more difficult it will be to have a baby.  I believe you should try to conceive in the next year or two as your fertility will be dimishing as time goes on. I missed out on having any kids of my own since I put my career and money struggles ahead of having children. I am in my 40's not and I'm medically unable to bear children.  I cheated myself out of having a family and I am still a bit melancholy about the choices I made.

Answer 10

I say go for it, you will never actually be financially ready for a baby. If you both want one go for it. Maternity leave is normally 3 months but a lot of women are ready to go back a lot sooner. :-) Good luck!

Answer 11

I don't see anything wrong in what you want to do

Their is nothing wrong with being a stay at home Dad

2 months I think is a bit too short 4-5 months is better but you don't have this option

Your child is not going to miss out on the love because that is just a given

What you will miss out on is the bond between you and the baby and this is normally what the men miss out on

Look.. my son in-law comes home from work and takes his daughter up to the bathroom and plays with her in the tub, then gets her ready for bed

She is Daddy's little girl .. this could be you

The role is just reversed

Answer 12

my mom went back to work within days of having me.  of course this was back in 1977.  are there specific issues you're concerned with?  I don't see a problem with what you want to do.  sounds logical.

Answer 13

I am not on a great income, but i earn higher than my other half! i think u shud go for it, babies are lovely little things and if it will make you both happy then dont let nothing stand in your way, everythin will work out for u, everything always does, im 35 weeks today, terrified about the birth, but i will keep my head held high and not be worried about money issues or anything like that take it as it comes!! good luck xx

Answer 14

I did not see anything in your question that would lead me to a 'no' answer.  Go for it.  Two months off will be OK - it's more than many women get.

Answer 15

My husband and I were in a similar situation.  We were desperate for a child and went through IVF to get him.  There was no doubt it was what we wanted but we were unsure what we would do once he was born in relation to care.  We obviously wanted to make the choice best for the three of us.  In the end we decided I would take the initial maternity leave and then my husband would stay home.  I got 3 months full pay maternity and also had ten weeks leave owing but when it came time to go back I could not bare to leave my son.  I then took another two months unpaid leave.  By then I was comfortable to go back to work.  Just remember you can't make decisions before you have a baby about how you will feel after you have one.  My son is nearly four and I still spend all day at work thinking about him and reassuring myself that he is safe.  I don't think you would be keen or mentally ready to go back to work after two months.  the first couple of months goes like a blur and you are still learning so much at two months.  I can't give you an answer but I hope this helps.

Answer 16

two months is enough time but if you can survive another month on your savings then do so. i am pregnant with bb#3 and i will have to return to work as much as it is gonna hurt me to leave my baby i know im doing it to support my family.

go 4 it! xx

Answer 17

I see nothing wrong with that.Child care is high,so you would be saving money.

Answer 18

Yes you should be fine good luck Hun.