Should we help him - advice?

Question

my uncle (unmarried, no kids) was my grandfathers full time carer for 16yrs. my grandfather died nearly 2yrs ago. it hit him hard. he started struggling for money, but wouldnt look for a job as all the money stopped - carers allowance, my grandas penions, etc. we all pitched in - i didnt have a lot of money as me and my BF were expecting our daughter, but i went to carers centres, got him info on how to qualify as a carer, got him appoinment to find out what benefits he was entitled to, bought him food shopping etc. other family members paid bills - but he only asked for the money for bills when they were going into disconnection of elec, gas, phone etc. so they sorted that out.

now the latest is that he cant pay his mortgage. he called my mum and asked for the money, she said no as she helped me with my daughter christening and that its been nearky 2yrs and he hasnt bothered to look for a job. when he gets bills now the first thing he does is take them to my aunt.

now my aunt is making out like we are the bad ones for not helping him as he will lose the house but we cant afford it, and my mum is sick of handing out money to him when he isnt trying to help himself.

what do you think, help him or not?

Answer 1

Don't help him. He needs to go look for a job. If he looses the house, it's HIS fault, not yours.  

Answer 2

help him get a job. And that's it.

Pick his lazy @ss up from the house and TAKE him to fill out applications and make interview appointments. If no-one does then he will think he can lazily get by life with everyone doing everything for him. Don't give him any money cause he's just going to want more when it runs out. Help him by MAKING him help himself. and try to convince your aunt to stop doing it too. she says you are the bad ones when really she is the bad one for not wanting to help him. Letting him do nothing and live for free isn't doing sh*t but spoiling him. And if he wont get out and get job let him get kicked out and lose his house. Maybe something will get quickly punched into his lazy thick head.

Sorry, that story just kind of made me mad. Good-luck

Answer 3

Your Uncle means  he must be nothing less than in  his

early fifties or late forties. He is grown up enough to be a

responsible person and  should look after his earthly needs

if he is not disabled.

You and  your mom may on humanitarian grounds, help him

to give " roti and  kapda  some times". Just forget him otherwise.

If you can afford to look after him its well and good. Or else,

there are plenty of people live outside Durgha, Big Temples and

Gurudwaras.  for free meals.

Answer 4

It's time to let your uncle stand on his own two feet.