Should we postpone our wedding????

Question

I am saposed to get married in three weeks and yesterday my soon to be mother in law went into the hispital with a heart condition that will require surgery and possibly a long recovery. (Our reception will be in her yard and she has paid for a portion of the wedding) We are not sure how long she will be laid up or when her surgery will be scheduled so we dont know whether we should postpone the wedding. We asked her what she wanted and she said it was up to us. I dont want to risk not having her there but I hate canceling something that we all have been planning and looking forward to.

Answer 1

If you can get your money back then i would say reschedule. but if you cant get money/deposits back then go on with the wedding

Answer 2

Ask yourself how you will feel in a year from now...if you have the wedding and she isn't there.

Or if you don't have it and wait for her to be there...

which can you live with

If it were me, I would hate to postpone it, but I would think that leaving her out would send a very wrong message at the very beginning of my marriage.

She may hold resentments and your husband to be may end up with resentments if something happens to her...maybe you can hold a pre -wedding party that day and then have the wedding when she can attend.

GL

Answer 3

Since she said that it is up to y'all, my conclusion is that she was being polite and wants to be there.

Answer 4

Have the wedding as scheduled.Maybe she will be home by then -if not video tape it for her and take it to the hospital right afterward--still in your wedding gown!! Best wishes

Answer 5

Well I would postpone it if it was possible. She is a really important part of your lives and will forever. Especially if your finance is her only son or her baby boy his might break her heart to miss it. Good Luck I hope i helped and Congrats on your wedding and hopefully a long and blissful life together.

Answer 6

of course! aren't u worried about you mother in law?  all you care about is urself? im sorry but how can u be so heartless? isn't ur husband worried? clearly u don't respect ur poor husbands family...

Answer 7

Seeing as how she is paying for a portion and it is at her home AND she IS the mother of the groom, I think its super important that she be there. I'm sure the family and friends will understant your reasons for postponing... I really think you owe it to her to have her there and I'm sure its important to your fiance to have her there as well..

Answer 8

Yes you should postpone it, she needs to be there on her son's day

Answer 9

That's a tough situation. It would mostly depend on whether she has to have the surgery prior to your wedding. It was very considerate of you to ask her what she wanted. Are the plans changeable without losing all the money spent? That's another thing to consider. What does your fiance want to do? It's his mom, and if he doesn't want to have the wedding without her, the choice is made.

I wish your mother-in-law well, and hope her surgery and recovery go smoothly. Good luck with your decision.

Answer 10

Gosh. What a tough predicament!  Can she just be there in a wheelchair for a few hours?  Is there still a way to involve her without canceling your plans?  Many places will not refund your money, keep in mind.

Don't give up on the fact that there still might be a viable compromise.  Try to find a way for her to be involved, but still pull off the already planned wedding.

Find a way to have your cake, and eat it too.  Your wedding cake, that is...

Good luck to you!

Answer 11

Yes, I think you should postpone the wedding . . . especially since the reception is taking place in her yard.

If the venue was another location (not MIL's home) and MIL had specifically asked that you go on with the wedding, then I think it would be okay to proceed.

But since a large part of the event is taking place at her home . . . and she may be there at home trying to recover . . . I think it would be best if you postpone.

She definitely will not be able to rest with a yard full of people . . . the kitchen in use for food prep . . . folks coming in to use the bathrooms, etc.

The thoughtful thing to do is postpone.  Or at the very, very least, you need to move the reception's location.

Answer 12

Some people get really bitter over this in the long run. Ask her if she's truly okay if you guys go on ahead with the wedding. And then, ask your fiance, if he's okay with going on ahead knowing that she won't be there.

Answer 13

i would def postpone she wouldnt  of said no if she wanted u to go on without her. it will prob upset her to miss her child getting married. it would not be the same.

i would imagine she will be chuffed if u waited for her to get better

hope this helps

Answer 14

I think she really wants to be there. You really need to sit down and not leave until she decides since she is the mother in law, and helped pay for it. I would not do it without her, that would be so hurtful. If you had a daughter or son, and that happened, wouldn't you want to see it too if you were in your mom in law's shoes? Lol...I would be so upset to not see it, it's a once in a lifetime oportunity...you know?

Answer 15

well you can do in 4 weeks or 5 weeks        and then get married and if your future mother in law is a *** you can wait and then she will think you r thought ful

Answer 16

I would say look at it logically. Would it be cost effective to wait, or would you lose large deposits on things, would she? Then look at how much she would have to do if you still had it on schedule. Would you be able to find people willing to clean up the house and yard so she doesn't have to do anything? And how far away is the wedding, would she still be in the hospital?

Answer 17

it sounds like she want to be there also i would postpone it if you dont' it could be horrible rest of your lifes so i would wait take care.

Answer 18

u should definitely postpone, because she is ur son's mother and she has paid a portion of the wedding. i think she deserves to be there at the wedding. also when u r having a wedding, u have to do a lot of work and u won't have time to visit or care for ur mother in law. u need to care for ur mother in law cuz almost everyone that has just had surgery needs help and her loved ones like u and ur future husband near.

Answer 19

This is your fiance's call. It's his mother in the hospital and you need to support his decision regardless which way.  If he wants to go ahead, then go for it. If he wants to wait then wait. No pressure on him though. Let him know you won't be angry with him either way. Yes it's upsetting to postpone any event especially a long awaited wedding but, it's not getting canceled for good.

Answer 20

if I were you, I would.  The day will be much more special with her there and without having to worry.  Everyone will understand

Answer 21

If she has already paid for a portion and offered her yard for the reception I would keep the date. She may be home and can possibly view from a window. Take lots of pictures and videos. Or Set up a live web cam for her to watch the wedding. Good Luck.

Answer 22

in most cases I think a wedding should not be postponed.  Would you want to go ahead with the wedding and put off the reception until she is well.   Could you leave to go  on a honeymoon when she is so ill????   Could that also be postponed???   It may a long time like a year before she can host a party at her home.

I'm sorry this has happened to you.

Answer 23

Go on with your wedding, make sure you have someone record it, if she can't make it (even if she does it would be nice to have on tape). It may seem kinda selfish, but it is expensive, and hard to postpone a wedding!

Answer 24

If you decide to go on with the wedding........see if you can set up live video with a laptop at the hospital for her.  Make sure that you mention her, during both the ceremony and the reception.  If the hospital is close, go over after the ceremony and before the reception, so your husband can see his mother with his new bride.

Good luck, I hope everything goes well for you and your mother-in-law.

Answer 25

if she paid id wiat till she is better postpone it would be the nice thing to do unles ure evil lol jk good luck with the wedding hop ir=t lasts as lond as my granp parents did they would have benn married 52 years if my grandpa hadnt died um jut pospone it because my gramps died from heart problems and it would be nice if she could c the wedding if she does u no echem

Answer 26

Can you re-schedule it?

you are healthy, so you and your fiance can wait until she gets better,  what does it need to be on that specific date?

lets become  less selfish, beginning from this small issues.

Answer 27

Yes, especially if you want her on your good side for the next 20 years.

Answer 28

postpone it she is helping you out and probably one of the most important people showing up

Answer 29

I know how hard it would be to postpone the wedding but it sounds like you should only because she said its up to you which means she really wants to be there ,if she didn't really care she would've told you to go ahead and do it .

Answer 30

I would tell the mother how you really feel just as you have said it here and tell her you really want her to be honest about how she REALLY feels about it.  Tell her to be completely honest.  If shed rather you waited then wait a few months, your hubby to be will love you for it more cause you thought of his mother first.  She will love you for it too.

Answer 31

Will she be well enough to not do anything but come to the ceremony and sit there and then have a comfy seat/recliner set up for her at the reception so she can eat something and people can come talk to her for an hour then a relative takes her up to bed to rest while maybe a few people can go one or two at a time to see her through the rest of the reception?

Hopefully they will schedule her surgery this week and she will be recovering the next two and be well enough for what I have described.