Should we send money as a 'thank you' to the Philippine family that my daughter stayed with?

Question

To Philippinos,

Is it appropriate for us as American parents to send money to a Philippine family as a 'thank you' for letting my 23 yo. daughter stay with them for 2 weeks? She went over there with her American-citizen boyfriend whose aunts and uncles and 10 young cousins are still in the Philippines--both my daughter and Conrado describe the family as 'poor.' On the one hand, the family needs the money for basics--they've already accepted money, about $200, from my daughter. On the other hand, I don't want to insult them by seeming patronizing.

Is it appropriate to send them money or not? We want to do what's best.

Answer 1

It seems like they would be appreciative.  Including a 'thank you' note should also reveal your sincerity.  I think it's a nice gesture that you want to 'reach out' like that. I used to be close friends with a philippino family, and I say go for it :)

Answer 2

A "thank you" card with some personal notes is more than enough to show your gratitude.  Trust me, it was a real pleasure for the host family to have your daughter as guest.  Sending money together with you card is not an insult but it is not safe to mail money to the Philippines.  What I would like to suggest is to send the host family a little something this Christmas.  Either a gift package and/or some cash.  You can ask Conrado (the bf?) the most cost efficient way to go about it.

Answer 3

I dont know what is 'proper' or not, but Im sure they would love money.

Answer 4

If they have already accepted money, it should be OK.  

Answer 5

Well, most probably, when you return to their place, try to build them a more comfortable home wherein I am sure they will appreciate.

Thank you for your thoughtfulness and being so grateful to them.  GOD is guiding you to look after them.  Again, thank you for your concerns.

GOD BLESS ALL OF US!!!!!!

Answer 6

Do the safe thing....

Send the family clothes for the kids.

Send canned goods. Send books. Send candy. Pots, pans, whatever you like.

Send them in a box called a balikbayan box which practically every Filipino expat sends to their relatives back home. It's packed with clothes, food, books, what have you.

Just do a google search for "balikbayan box" in google, and you should see some companies near your area that provide the service.

Answer 7

I can understand why they accept the money from your daughter because they probably need it.  I don't think you need to send more money maybe the next holiday when you send money to any of your relatives then you can give them.

Just make sure they don't take advantage of you.

Answer 8

If you want, you can write them a thank you letter, if it will ease your mind somewhat.

But, really, there's no need.   It is a given among us to take care of strangers, and especially someone coming with family.  I think that the thought that were any of them to spend the same time with you, you would extend them the same courtesy, is the rule of thumb.

Answer 9

Well if you already gave them $200,I would stick with a thank you letter or something along that line.Hope I helped

Answer 10

Send me some money.  I will be thankful :)

Answer 11

First of all, thank you so much for being understanding and compassionate to the Filipinos. You made the difference on this world because your family has a big heart. I would suggest, send them a thank you card and a re-loadable Visa Card through Fedex for safety precaution. Once they received it there, then you can add money to it any amount you want to give. There are accessible ATM machines in most cities and some rural areas. I'm sure your generosity means a lot to this family. God bless!

Answer 12

First a thank you note---no cash as it will never reach them.

If you intend to send money use a door to door agent for e.g. Forex.

Again money can be used for all the wrong things ,like gambling etc.

Why not send a food parcel with items like spam, corned beef, uht milk, coffee, milo, biscuits etc. They will go berserk if they receive this

Another option, but more expensive, is to 'adopt' one of their kids and pay for their schooling needs.

edit

This is always the unfortunate part as it is impossible to help  all. If you can afford it help with the tuition fees for some OR send a parcel containg schooling needs books, pencils, kids reading material etc. These could help a lot of kids rather than just the one.

Any amount of assistance would be a benefit to the family and believe me it will also be a benefit to you.

Another possibility for you to consider is as follows: it doesn't take much to set up a small business over there perhaps you could help them help themselves.

Answer 13

yeah. people who are poor, probably dont have very good jobs or none at all actually. but anyway you should send the money with a note. saying thank you for the hospitality and we'd like to repay your kindness by giving you money.and thats all to it. they will probably thank you for your gratitude and use the money for the things they need.  

Answer 14

give what you can because you want to, not because you need to.

thank you very much for such a nice gesture, you have a big heart.

Answer 15

Yeah send some money but just let them know that it was for taking care of your daughter and thats all. Otherwise they might expect it all the time.  

Answer 16

It wouldn't be insulting on their end if you send them money. They would gladly accept it but I dont think that would be appropriate and it may not be safe for you also. Especially if you dont know the people that well.

I would suggest for you to give them thank you tokens, like cards, souvenirs from where you are from, something they would remember you from. Like the contributors here mentioned, money may be spent on different purpose like gambling or other vices. Try to order like vouchers from freight companies here so they can use it intendedly only for food or some basic needs. Now if you feel comfortable that they are not to spend it on anything else, that I think its okay.

The thing is, your daughter might think that they are poor because the setup for houses here and the surroundings are completely different compare to the states. People here also dont take godparentship of great value. Some would just get one so they can give gifts.

I am a Filipino and I dont have anything against my fellow Filipinos, but you have to take care too. Not just for Filipinos but for anybody, if they see a good opportunity, they MIGHT abuse and harass you at some point soon.

Hope this helps.  

Answer 17

sending one child to school is okay. it's like having a charity of your own, choose one among the twelve who really deserves to be sent to school and monitor it. make sure the money goes for her tuition fees and other school expenses like uniform,school shoes, books and even school supplies.

a thank you card would also be very appreciated.