Should we talk marriage if i don't like his son?

Question

My boyfriend and I are starting to consider marriage. We talk about it quite often. The thing is he has a son...whom i've never really grown to like. He is 5,yeah i know i'm the adult but its hard to love a kid that isn't yours. Espc. if you don't have any. Will i ever love him..or like him eve?!?!? I love his dad but i'm not sure if i'm ready because i resent his son. i really do. please tell me my feelings will change in time. I've only known him for 6 months and i only see him once a week.

Answer 1

if you love your boyfriend then you sould marry him without a doubt, dont let his son hold you back. if you dont love him then your boyfriend would understand. you just need time to get use to him. hope this helps(:

Answer 2

Hi,

I would say No, to your relationship. That is just the facts of life.

With this man you get a package deal, him as well as his son.

You can't change that. And you shouldn't want to.

You will be much kinder to end this relationship now, rather than continue on with him and the son you can't really get around.

To continue will only lead to problems. Unfair to him as well as his child.

There is nothing wrong with your feelings either. Glad to see that you are honest with yourself!

Move on my dear, and consider this as on of those lessons to learn from in life, as hard as it may be.

Best of Luck to YOU!!!

Answer 3

Find someone else.  You owe it to yourself to not get in any deeper.  The relationship with his son (his and yours) is very important, and has the potential to destroy the marriage.  I have seen it happen many times.  Unless there's an instant warm relationship with someone else's child(ren), it's a relationship to avoid.

Answer 4

thats not good! Its totally understandable if you don't like kids in general, or even his son specifically but you shouldn't marry him. His son is probably the most important person to him and things will only get worse from here. If you already resent the son now, you'll resent him even more whenever he gets in the way of you and your man.  

Answer 5

There is no clear cut answer here. You love this man, but by marrying him you are also becoming a step-mom. The real issue here is not whether or not you love this man's son. It can be very hard to feel love for someone else's child. I feel that way sometimes about my own step-daughter. The issue is whether you can treat this little boy fairly and with respect. If you resent this child and are unable to hide those feelings he will feel it and will be effected by it and that is not fair to him. You need to be honest with your boyfriend and let him know about your difficulties in this area. As a father, he needs to do what is best for his child. The two of you need to come to an understanding and do the right thing for this little boy.