Should we worry about rights the other s*x may or may not have?

Question

One thing I've noticed a lot of on this forum is men-and some women- who complain that feminists don't do enough to help out men in certain areas of society. A fairly common response I've noticed from the feminists more or less says "It's your problem, not ours, fix it yourself." Based on that information, I must assume these feminists (it's not all feminists who say this, maybe not the majority, but it is a very significant percentage) would also say that men shouldn't worry about women's rights. Except, that's not usually what happens.

So my question is, do you think men should fight for women's equality? How about women fighting for equality for men when there's inequalities that affect them?

Answer 1

It's about balance - And as far as I can see in the world, women have had a much rougher time than men have in history and even today, all over the world.

If men are concerned about the fact feminists don't fight for men's rights as equally as they fight for women's rights, there is a reason for that - Because women have had it worse than mwn in the past. . It also suggests that if men feel they don't have equal rights to women, then perhaps they should fight harder themselves, as feminists have had to do.

I would fight for men if I felt they needed it in certain arena's, for sure!

Many people have limited time and resources and so chose to focus on urgent issues, be it animal rights, rights for blacks and particular cultures/ races, or women's rights. It's a matter of urgency, not disrespect!

Lets get real. Inequality still exists much more for some groups than it does for others.

:-)

Answer 2

I think caring about "women's rights" only and not men's is selective compassion based on old and outdated concepts of chivalry and "benevolent sexism"; plus, caring about "women's rights" only will only benefits women.     Once I started thinking this way, I start to feel that men's rights  and issue are much more important(to me) because men do face discriminations and get the shaft far more often these days.

I also really don't care if women and/or feminists care about men's rights or not. I don't expect them to care..  I just don't like it when feminists stand in the way and do things that negatively affect men's rights.

Answer 3

Unfortunately it has turned into an all out war in which men and women are enemies.  I have a vested interest in the rights of men...I have 5 sons and countless men in my life that I care for. I have a vested interest in women's rights...I have a daughter and countless women in my life.

This whole battle has turned into a selfish crusade, and everyone is ignoring the needs of others.  I don't understand it.  If you know a man, you should be concerned. If you know a woman, you should be  concerned.  At this point I don't think anyone is fighting for a groups rights, just their PERSONAL rights and to h**l with anyone that gets in the way.  This is the epitome of selfishness.

Answer 4

I don't blame feminists and masculinists for focusing more (not entirely) on their respective s*x; that's probably reflexive. But they should still be at least a little concerned with each other's problems.

Answer 5

This is a great question, and funnily enough, I was going to ask a very similar question today myself. I posted about this issue a week or so ago, but my question was deleted. I'll re-post the general issues I brought up there, because it's relevant to this thread.

I think there's a place for both genders to support each other's "causes" because often, these causes affect both men and women. For issues such as rape, for example, women have traditionally responded to this issue, without a great deal of support from men. However, I think there are appropriate roles for both men and women to partake, in order to bring about change. I think it's crucial for men to challenge other men (and their sons) about their attitudes and behaviour towards girls and women. I also feel that men should have a role in "educating" men in post-rape "treatment" programs, and to establish services for male survivors of violence - in all it's forms perpetrated by both men and women.

Women have an equally significant role when it comes to sexual (and other) violence perpetrated by, and perpetrated against women. My position for the role women should have with this issue, is synonymous with that of men, for both perpetrators and survivors.

In rural areas of Australia, the suicide rate for men is very high. We have long droughts here, and many farmers experience great hardship, both emotionally and financially. I support the need for men to have access to counselling and financial aid services, that are established and maintained by other men. I think men are more likely to speak with other men about issues pertaining to their gender, than to women. In cases such as this, I don't think that women should establish these services on behalf of men, but I DO believe that support from women on the sidelines is important.

Much like woman establishing and maintaining services specifically for women. I believe that in most cases, it's more appropriate for women to seek funding and establish services for women, and for men to provide support from the sidelines. I know that in Australia, some community groups for men have had input and support from women's services. I also know of a women's support service that has had input and support from mainstream services that also cater for men.

There are times however, where services must compete for funding in this day and age of economic rationalism. What I've experienced, is that funding bodies often dip into funding of services for women, to fund services for men. In this case, it's to the detriment of women. I don't blame the community sector or men's services for this, but I do believe that this practice is very problematic, and something that funding bodies should re-consider.

So yes, I do believe we should worry about the rights of both men and women, and that when tackling the problems, there are times where it's more appropriate for specific tasks to be allocated to specific genders. I also believe that some of the current methods adopted to deal with some of the issues, need to be re-addressed.

Answer 6

there are several trends in feminism & involving men is one of them.

for example - the male pill, engaging men in repro health decisions, etc.

there are groups that engage men - men against rape, jackson katz, michael flood, etc.  

most services that started out helping women - domestic violence, rape, stalking, sexual harassment also help men - many are just starting to really expand

you can also note a few things about the women's movement - we never had a "marriage strike" even tho fems who really ticked off, we never drew blood - feminism has been one of the world's most peaceful movements (anger, yes - that characterizes most movements) but no deaths or serious injures caused by feminists to men (with the exception of the nutcase writer of that manifesto; however, to counteract marc lepine killed 12 fems and many womens humn rights defenders have been harassed & killed).

so, yes, i think men should support women's equality. i firmly believe it helps men too - partnerships instead of lop-sided dependent mishaps we've had.

i'm all for men's equality, but i do not support destructive means in which to gain them, idealogues that wont or cant reason, stats that are not well-supported, hate and misogyny.

i support positive parenting groups and pro-fem men.

Answer 7

I think the actual ? is why did a bunch of women have to realize that they were being abused and therefore had to start feminism why didn't men start it for us. I'll tell you why because a lot of men (not all of them) are very selfish and self centered. They would rather reap the benefits of a society that oppressed women. Those same men are now getting a little little bit of injustice for a very short time (or so they say) and all of sudden we should forget about all the women in the world and worry about men again. Again I say a lot of men are very self centered. If men want to prove that women shouldn't hate them or are unjustified in fearing or hating them because men are sooo goood then maybe they should take the initiative and help women out, what do you think. I scratch your back you scratch mine.

Answer 8

I don't find it necessary for men to fight for women's rights, but I would hope and expect that they would not stand in the way.

Answer 9

Everyone should care about the rights of others, and do all they can to work towards a progressive society where everyone is valued for their unique abilities and aptitudes.

Most people are willing to help those who help themselves, but very few of us would be willing to devote our energy to working hard on behalf of someone whose contribution to the effort was to complain others are not doing enough for them.

Personally, I do not think it is unfair for men who want something, to be asked to do something to help get it going. I don't think it's unfair that women who want something should be asked to contribute towards it in some way, either.

There is no reason at all anyone else should contribute, unless the people who want something are themselves willing to do something to get it.

A good case in point is a recent question which asked why feminists aren't fighting 'a law' which sees every male tested for a driver's licence failed the first time.

The asker provided no evidence and later backed away from the claim, saying it wasn't a 'law' ... but couldn't say where it happened, who it happened to, or provide any facts, links, or examples from personal experience, just a rumour he'd heard. He also was not at all clear what should be done to 'fight' this apparently imaginary situation he was very aggrieved about.

But he wanted 'feminists' to drop what they were doing and rush off to protest this grave injustice, and felt personally aggrieved that they weren't willing to. He saw that as part of the feminist conspiracy against him and requests for proof, links or even explanation as direct evidence of man-hatred.

Do you think it was fair for feminists to ask him to do something to help his own case? Or do you think that it is unreasonable to ask people to help themselves, before demanding others assist them?

I live in a welfare state and am proud to be a 'left leaning' person politically, but even I draw the line at giving my limited resources of time and energy to 'fighting' for rights people demand but won't do one thing about themselves, even basic research or investigation.

You might also want to consider how most women's organisations started out ~ like the local rape crisis centre in my area which began from someone's home telephone line in the back of their house, and a few people pasting up notices in ladies toilets letting women know someone was there to help.

What stops some men doing this? Men who ARE doing something don't feel this way. They get in and get their hands dirty and work hard, and everyone respects them for it, especially the men they help.

It is so derogatory to the men's organisations which have worked hard to provide great services to keep denying they exist, or to pretend the guys running them are not the wonderful and inspiring people they are.

That's the sort of thing that really does stop men being able to access help and support when they need it for REAL problems, not just rumours of having to try twice to get a driver's licence.

Cheers :-)

Answer 10

I second Tracey's answer, but I would also add this:  

I would gladly support men's rights and help them fight against any injustices in which they are legitimately discriminated against.  But, I will not SPEARHEAD that fight...it would be ridiculous for a woman to be leading the charge to fight against the inequalities that men face, especially since men are so capable of leading the charge themselves.  That's why I find it ridiculous when men ask why women aren't doing more for men's rights...most women would gladly support men, but it is up to the men themselves to get things STARTED...to lead the charge, so to speak, since they are the ones who feel victimized.  So if a man asks me to do more for men's rights, I'll be glad to...but HE has to take the first step.  

This also applies the other way around.  If women see an injustice facing women, it would be ludicrous for us to whine to men that they should change it for us, since, in our current society, we are capable of inciting change ourselves.  If women see an injustice against women that must be remedied, then we women MUST be the ones who lead the charge or start the fight...then many men will feel more free to join us.

Answer 11

People have a moral obligation to work for human rights, be they male or female. The idea that people want to achieve equality for one group but not another just doesn't make sense; if you don't seek equality for all, then there will never be equality for anyone.

I'm frustrated cuz I don't don't know how to say that any more clearly: equal means EQUAL, not "equal except we get this extra stuff over here too."

Answer 12

In my opinion yes.  If I had an adoptive daughter I would not want her to go get an engineering degree and make $45,000 for a job that a guy at the same company in the same dept makes $ 50,000 for when he's got the same job title.

I would think a mother would feel the same concern about her son.

Answer 13

i would like for men to support women, but they are not responsible for changing our roles in society. this obviously goes both ways. i will support men, but like Rebel F said, i will not start a movement for men-that would be silly for me to do.

Answer 14

Absolutely! If someone wants to be supportive of an issue what does it really matter what s*x they are? We all have members of the opposite s*x that we care deeply about.

I know men that support women's rights (speaking out, volunteering, etc.) and I think it's great. If someone has a good heart and they want to contribute to positive transformations in society...that shouldn't be discouraged. All too often on here, we hear that feminists don't care about or support men and their issues. What specifically would men on here like to seem changed? Ask a question about it. Listen to the responses with an open mind. Maybe you'll get a response or a collection of them that will point to a possible course of action. If it's a legitimate issue (not whining) than you may be surprised that you'll find support for said issue.

There is a value to coalitions. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

I realize you can't make someone care about something if they honestly don't want to. That's fine. If someone does care and wants to support a "men's" issue as a woman or a "woman's" issue as a man...super! Don't alienate the potential supporters of your cause.

Points to ponder...

-Do you have to be a minority to care about racism?

-Do you have to be a cancer survivor or currently have cancer (or any other illness) to spread awareness, volunteer or raise money for cancer research?

-Does being childless or not wanting kids preclude you from being a vocal child advocate who speaks/acts out against child abuse, exploitation, and the like?

Of course not!

Who knows? Maybe for some, it takes having to be personally affected by something before they are willing to care or take action.

Answer 15

Can you give me examples of societal inequalities that only  men experience?

Of course we should fight for each other's equality.