Should women have the right to choose.....?

Question

Adoption?

If there is no coercion....should she and the baby's father have the right to choose what is best for all of them? If baby's rights come first, who chooses what is best?

Is a strict family preservationist view "anti-choice" ?

I really am interested in hearing about this from all of you because I was recently told by a feminist friend that NOW was not supporting adoption reform because the movement was anti choice.

All views welcome...

Answer 1

I think it depends on what a "strict" family preservation law would be defined as.

The babies rights should always come first in my opinion.

A baby being with its mother/father is the best ultimate decision assuming the baby would be healthy with them. Cared for with them. etc.

If a parent doesn't want to parent.....do you think the child would end up being healthy?

I would need you to define a strict family preservationist view before I said if it was anti-choice or not.

Adoption illegal? where do you sense that? I think non profit agencies should be illegal. I think that lawyers and dr's being involved in adoptions should be illegal. I think if at all happening, adoptions should be done as ethcially as possible with the childs rights first. Thats family preservation!! Preserve the family...is that a hard concept to understand for some people?

not asking to you in general, its just that I'm getting the feeling that some people don't even grasp "family staying together for the benefit of family/child development" before adoption. Its not too hard to understand.

Answer 2

There is sooo much to cover in adoption that I might be here all night!

Adoption is always going to have negative more than the positive, but Like I have already said, its the way the adoption is done that gives it such a bad name. I stand to say that america gives adoption a bad name, NOT the triad.

I believe that the father should have rights if named on a birth cert.

I dont think that promoting family preservation is a bad thing or "anti choice", but I do think that it cant really apply to all adoptees and circumstances need to be looked at before a choice is made.

There are so many adoptees (including myself) that have lots of things to say about adoption. We have every right too aswell, but so do other members of the triad. Labeling anyone 'greedy" or "barren buttheads" is NOT acceptable. I dont see anyone here accepting namecalling of adoptees!!

Great question.

Answer 3

A very interesting question.  Making adoption illegal in all cases is not the goal in my opinion.  However, I think adoption should be the very, very LAST choice, and a woman should never have to give her baby up simply because she feels she lacks the resources to keep her baby.

I'm not sure what the stats are regarding the reasons women relinquish their babies.  I tend to think the minority do so just because they really don't want a baby.  Mostly, it's due to lack of finances, lack of emotional support (like a single parent), and lack of self-confidence that she's capable of taking care of a baby, such as with a very young mother.  All of these latter reasons can be mitigated by counseling and assistance to the mother.  

The problem is that people are so eager to adopt, and the agencies and lawyers are so eager to earn their fees, that the mother considering adoption is never helped to see that she CAN parent her baby.  Rather, she is convinced that she can't possibly give her baby as good a life as the potential adoptive parents, and then she actually feels GUILTY that she is doing something bad if she wants to keep her own baby!

All parties in adoption need to be made aware that this is the SECOND-best choice for the baby and may very likely have lifetime repercussions for that baby from emotional and relationship problems due to mistrust and abandonment issues.  The babies rights and needs HAVE to be put before all others needs, and that means that the mother should be made aware that this can be psychologically damaging.  It should be a goal first  to try to get her to keep her baby if at all possible.  

If she absolutely refuses to parent her baby after being made aware of all her options and the drawbacks, then yes, of course she should have the right to choose since I wouldn't want any baby being brought up by someone who didn't want it.  I do think it's a good idea to have the mother care for the baby for a short time like they do in Australia, so that she is absolutely sure that this isn't what she wants, some people do change their mind once the baby is born.  The reason the practice has been to take the baby away from the mother immediately after birth, is so that she doesn't have the chance to change her mind!  

Sometimes people just don't know what they're missing out on until they actually hold their baby in their arms, but they still go through with the adoption out of a sense of obligation at that point.  They feel that they agreed to the adoption so that they have to follow through on it.  This should never be the case.  I think it's a very bad idea for prospective parents to be matched and meet with a pregnant mother.  I believe all decisions regarding adoption should be done only after the mother has had her baby and had a chance to get to know him or her.  How can any mother make such a huge and important decision before she even sees her baby?  It's just mind-blowing to me that this is the way adoption is done.

So I'm not anti-choice necessarily, but I'm definitely pro major adoption reforms.

Answer 4

You do have a good point if women can choice to have an abortion. Then birthparents can choice to have their baby placed for adoption. To take away that right is just wrong, and obviously not always the best thing for a child. To be raised by parents or family that didn’t truly want the kid. How is that health? its not , that kid could grow up with a lot of problems too.

Answer 5

They do have a choice in America, I believe.

In some countries however, if you produce a child you and/or your extended family is obligated by law to support and raise that child and 'choosing' to give the child up is frowned upon.

Answer 6

If the choice includes abortion, then no.

Do we call those who are pro-abortion "anti-life."

I really wish that every child were born in a healthy, happy environment with loving parents. But just because the situation may be difficult or inconvenient for the mother and/or the father should not necessitate the death of a child.

If your body is your personal property, why was it public domain the night of conception?

We need to encourage responsibility and health, for everyone.

Answer 7

hahahahahahaha!!!!  the baby's rights??  they have none.

Answer 8

I think that the family should have the right to raise the child, parents first, then extended family if the parents feel they are unable to care for the child, then if the family cannot agree on keeping the child, the child should go for adoption.

    and abortion is just wrong, roe v. wade does not even legalize it, it just says that what happens in your docs office is private.  abortion should be eliminated, it kills so much human potential.  the next baby aborted may be the one who would have cured AIDS, or cancer, so who has the right to destroy humanities best chance?

Answer 9

i think if mom wants to give up the baby for adoption but dad doesn't. then dad should be able to have custody.  if he doesn't want custody then he should let the baby go to another family. it wouldn't be fair for dad to say no to adoption then turn around and not take baby in.  

EDIT:  YES, I THINK A WOMAN SHOULD BE ABLE TO CHOOSE ADOPTION WITHOUT GIVING A REASON.

i am reading and rereading your question and i am not sure that i answered your question.

Answer 10

that's bull.  i mean, if people can't afford to take care of a kid, it's not anti-choice.  it means people were too stupid to use contraception and that they just want to kill babies.  

get rid of Roe v. Wade.  It's a bigger anti-feministic thing than it is pro-feminism.  It allows parasitic men to take advantage of women and dehumanize women and fetuses.  =/