Should you name a baby a gender neutral name just in case they want a s*x change later?

Question

Me and my new husband LaTyrone are going to adopt an African American baby that needs a home. Being a g*y couple we want to teach our baby that he doesn't have to be afraid of his homosexuality and that he should be proud of it.

LaTyrone and I believe that babies should have gender neutral names so that if they decide to have gender reassignment surgery they can keep the name that their loving fathers gave them.

We were thinking of Sam DeShawn Tuirami for the baby's full name. Isn't that cute:)

We were thinking of getting him boys and girls clothes so that gender roles aren't forced upon him like his fathers had to go through.

Answer 1

Gender reassignment is a big deal (and completely separate from the homo/hetero/bi sexuality issue). Why would you want to set your child up for that?

Human sexuality is fluid, gender is not. If your child decides to go down that path then that's fine, but why confuse a young child with notions of gender reassignment before they even understand the concept of gender (it's not until 5 or 6 that they really get it, and even then...)

Gender and sexuality are an important part of your identity. Let your child define their own identity, it's not your call. And please be careful not to project your "stuff" on to the child (easier said than done, I know - we all have baggage - but as parents we must at least try)

As for gender roles, given your past experiences don't you think you could both be intelligent, mature and enlightened enough to demonstrate to your child that gender roles and sexuality are not the same thing? And that neither should be more important to you or anyone else than your humanity? All this gender and sexuality stuff is just labels. Mother, father, good, bad, white, black, class etc - aren't we all human before we are any of these things? And even before we call ourselves humans, aren't we all souls? Isn't it our spirit/soul that makes who we truly are? Isn't that a more important lesson to teach your child?

There's a bigger picture.

BTW: Sam is a cute name.  

Answer 2

My opinion (only because you asked) :) is that you should give the baby a name when you first see them.  When you first meet your child there will be a definate name that pops into your head.  Go with your gut. The combined boy/girl clothes might be getting a little ahead of yourself.  I think by all means support them if the child, as they grow older, shows interest in one direction or another but to put them in a position that as they grow may be a little confusing doesn't seem fair.

Answer 3

you said be afriad of his homosexuality meaning you already have it in your head he is goign to be homosexual.

Answer 4

I come from an unnaccepting family, but, personally, I have no problems with race, gender orientation or sexuality. I also dislike the whole gender role thing. My son's favorite color is purple (he's only 8 months), and any time somebody comments on it, I get irritated and tell them off. He also likes carebears, which, everyone says will "make him g*y". Honestly, I don't believe you can "make" someone g*y, second, I'd much rather have a g*y and caring son than a straight son who's an a**hole. Anyways, I do think that the boys and girls clothes thing is a little strange. They have gender neutral clothing out there, just don't get anything that is overly girly or boyish.  

Answer 5

I don't think thats right! thats forcing a young child to make a decision that will confuse him! I understand where you are coming from but you are basically saying that you want him to grow up to be g*y or transgendered and that isn't right! Eventually when your child gets older its nice that you will accept what they want to do but there is also NOTHING wrong with being straight! I don't think you are acting like you will accept him if he is straight, only if he is g*y or trangendered which is not fair!!

Answer 6

Gender roles aren't forced upon you, as a name is just a name. As much as I love names, I have to say, the person makes the name, not the other way around.

Why don't you let the kid grow up so he actually knows whether he is g*y or straight? Seriously, if the kid doesn't like the name, he'll eventually change it. I notice that you say that the baby shouldn't be afraid of being g*y. Well, if the baby turns out to be g*y, it certainly shouldn't, but who says he will be g*y?

Answer 7

It takes $200 and 30 minutes to change your name legally. I do like the name Sam though for a boy or girl.