Should you tell your family if you're depressed?

Question

I think I have been depressed since I was 11 years old.

I mean, seriously depressed.

I was thinking of going to the doctor and getting medication or something, because things always seem hopeless to me and like nothing ever goes in favor of our family, and I cry myself to sleep many nights after my husband is sleeping. I could sleep all day if I didn't have to take care of the children, I get very irritated at everything EXCEPT for my children, I feel like things have been going downhill for the past 10-15 years or so, although our house and cars are paid off and we don't have financial strain. I feel like my children are the only good thing in my life.

I do not want to tell my husband or children. I know, I know... it's good to have their support... but my husband says all the time that I had better not ever turn out like my mother, who has clear mental issues. But I don't have any of that, just depression.

So is it wrong if I go to the doctor about it and don't tell anyone??

Answer 1

Don't tell your kids, it will put them through stuff they just don't need.

If your husband is not supporting you at all, then you can keep it a secret but deep down if you know he will support you and help you out then tell him. And yes do see a doctor soon, things could go wrong. Since it does run in the family, im sure they will give you medicine such as Zoloft. My Mother took this and she was happier every day, for a while she became dependent on it just to be happy, but now she dosn't take it anymore and she is healthy and happy. Other than the normal stress of being a mom. I really hope you can get better!

Answer 2

you should tell your family that you're depressed,you might find comfort in them.

Answer 3

No, it is not wrong for you to go to the doctor and not tell them.  However, if the doctor puts you on some medication, you should tell your husband, and tell him not to tell anyone including his family or friends.  You need something like a paxil that works for both depression and anxiety. I just think you need to do the ole pros and cons diagram on a sheet of paper.  I thing you would find that your life is pretty darned good.  If you have 3 wonderful children, a loving husband, no bills, what more do you want?  Do you want to travel the world?  Well who doesn't, so take a cruise with your wonderful family.  Go to 4 countries in 7 days.  It fixes alot.  If you don't plan minivacations, that is a red flag that you don't have anything to look forward to.  Sounds like your kids have a lot to look forward to.  You need to have something to look forward to and enjoy.  If I don't get a small trip to get out of town for a weekend every 3 months, I officially go crazy.  

Answer 4

No, it isn't wrong. Start out with your family Dr. ask her/him to recommend someone that you could start talking to. Then when things are better, consult with your husband.

Answer 5

Wow, what a keeper, your husband.  *sigh*  I'm sure he loves you very much, he just doesn't see what an a** he's being for giving you such a ridiculous ultimatum.  "Be well, or else!"  Well, how stupid is that?  lol.

Go ahead and make an appointment to see a doctor and get yourself on meds right away.  If it was diabetes you wouldn't hesitate so don't hesitate now.  This can ultimately destroy you and your family if you don't take care of yourself.  You are worth it.  Mothers keep the world going for our families.  We need to take the best care of ourselves or everyone else suffers, not just you.  You've always deserved to be happy and well so do what it takes to make it so.

If you can't tell your husband before you go on meds, talk to your doctor about how to tell your husband.  I'm sure he/she will have some very good answers for you.  Best wishes.

P.S.  It was hard for me to come to grips with my own depression.  It took a few years for my husband to understand my illness but he did eventually (when he discovered he had it, too!).  I guess sometimes it takes walking in another person's shoes.  Now we support each other!

Answer 6

You should definitely see a doctor.  It can be scary, but doctors can help more than people think.  Also, your family can be your number one support system while you work through this hard time in your life.  Don't be afraid to tell someone if you think that you really need help.  I hope you start feeling better!

Answer 7

In such circumstances it's not wrong. They would not understand: those who have not experienced it rarely do truly understand, even if they are supportive, and think it is something you can just snap yourself out of.

See depression treatments, in section 2 of my website, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and view page R first, then female depression, page V, and the rest.