Should your sister be mad at you for still speaking to her ex-husband?

Question

I still talk (so does my husband and the rest of my family) too my sisters ex-husband.

We have known one another since we were 16 years old so it is like we grew up somewhat together plus my sister has a kid with him but she acts like we are not supose to talk to him anymore...

Would you get all mad? Would you even care? Would you still speak to your ex inlaws?

Answer 1

I would not be mean about it if my family still talked to my ex, which they do.  Our dads were best friends and still are very close, so there will always be contact...but not between us.

My bro still talks to him, and I don't care.  we are never invited to the same function, but in your situation it might be different.

Their child will always have birthdays and want BOTH mommy and daddy there, so they need to figure it out.  She needs to get over it and let people do what they want.

Just because SHE does not wanna talk to him, does not mean that everyone else wont also.

She needs to just chill and go about her life.  Tell her to stop giving power to him over her emotions and how she reacts to people talking to him.

Answer 2

I would still talk to him she's acting kinda childish i think, i mean the two of them made a life together, so they will forever be a part of each others lives right?

Answer 3

Just don't tell her about it - like a "don't ask don't tell" kind of policy.

We still talk to my sister's ex because they have two kids together... we send Christmas cards, etc.  but we don't really talk to her about it because it can make it awkward for her.

Answer 4

I could see her being upset but she should understand that you knew him from before they were even together. If he's a good person, I'd still keep in touch with him.

Answer 5

When my brother divorced his wife I still had a good relationship with his ex.she would visit us and my children still call her Aunt *******.My brother was prrobably unusual in that he didn't expect us to become alienated from her.He had a somewhat amicable divorce so this may have been a factor.Over time they just grew apart.So in answer to your quesion,yes I would and I did.

Answer 6

i think this is very tricky. your loyalty should be to your sister but since you have known him for a long time and he is the father of your niece or nephew i can understand talking to him when you run into him or whatever. i wouldn't call him up to have dinner or anything but being friendly when you see him is okay. you should understand that your sister is still holding on to baggage from that relationship which is why she is angry with you for talking to him. she needs to get over it and move on.  

Answer 7

He is still part of the family. After all he is the father of your sisters child. I suspect you will have interaction with him for years to come whether it be at school functions, parties, weddings, etc. Your sister needs to mature and accept the fact that she got the divorce, not the rest of the family.

Answer 8

well to tell you the truth i have to agree with your sister. it is her ex husband im sure she still is hurting from it and is just keeping it to herself. especially if the divorce was because of him he cheated or just didnt want to be with her. i think you are lacking in loyalty, its clearly hurting her. is your friendship with this guy worth more than your sisters feelings?  

Answer 9

Any adult should be free to speak with any other adult, unless a restraining order is in effect.

I think the Americans (I'm Canadian) have a first amendment to their constitution for freedom of speech and assembly.

Granted, if someone single is hitting on someone married, that's got ethical issues...

Answer 10

Your sister is acting childish. My sister did the same thing. Her ex husband and my husband are very good friends and occasionally we visit him. I just found out that it pisses her off and she thinks I'm being disloyal to her.

I had to remind her that after I divorced my 1st husband, she continued to cut his hair for free and that seemed to shut her up (at least for the moment).

Answer 11

That all depends on how close you are with your sister.  Maybe she feels betrayed by you continuing to have a relationship with him.  Divorce is hard and it may seem to her that you've 'chosen' him over her or that you don't care how badly she was affected by all of this.

However, you should be allowed to stay in contact with whoever you choose.  That being said, if my sister were to get divorced, I wouldn't speak to her ex out of respect and love for my sister.  Not because I shouldn't, but because I'd want her to know that she means more to me than he does/did.  Things change, people change, I don't feel I have to remain friends with everyone in my life for the rest of my life.

I really like what 'Lemur's response was.  That's my situation right now.

Answer 12

honestly i wouldnt like it,but i wouldnt be angry about it either.

Answer 13

I can see where she wants you all "on her side", but that's pretty immature.  She needs to grow up.

Please tell her that he's a part of your family whether she wants to admit it or not and communication will still continue, as will get togethers whenever you want.

She needs to grow up and let it go.

Answer 14

If SHE doesn't like it, I would repect her and keep down the speaking and visits to a lower level or not at all.  IT's hard to answer this cause I have no idea why they got divorced.  If he was in the wrong and did something horrible to her she will feel betrayed and to have you continue a relationship with him it's a double whammy.

Here's a fun one...maybe lighten the mood

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 15

It depends on how he treated her.  If hes not paying his child support and has treated her like c**p and she has reasons to be mad at him you guys are a bunch of traitors who dont know youre supposed to stick to family and be supportive here.  If everything is cool with her and him maybe shes being odd about it.