Should your wife get along with your mother?

Question

Would you be fine if your wife did not get along with your mother?

Answer 1

What about the mother getting along with your wife?

Answer 2

Well, they don't really have to get along but she does need to respect her. The reason they don't have to get along is because she's there for you not your mother. But, on the other hand it's going to make things complicated too. Maybe both of them need to sit down and have a civilized conversation.

Answer 3

I don't get along with my mother in law at all.  Matter of fact, I very strongly dislike the woman.  I won't say "hate" because that's a very powerful word and I don't wish anything bad upon her.

I've tried for years to get along with her and it's very painful and hard for me.  She stresses me out to the point where sometimes I shake when I have to talk to her on the phone because I'm so nervous and stressed out.

However, I love my husband very much and I know it's important to him for us to get along.  I swallow my pains and stresses, and I put on a happy face when I have to see her.  My husband knows how I feel, and greatly appreciates the fact that I try so hard with her.  He knows she's caused a lot of problems and greatly appreciates my efforts.  I'll continue to try to get along with her as best I can to try to help my marriage, but sometimes I don't know if I can make it.... Oi.

Anyway -- it would greatly disturb my husband if I didn't talk to his mother -- I know this for a fact.  That's why I try so hard. :(

Good luck.

Answer 4

That happens a lot. Really it isn't shocking for the Mother-in-law not to get along with their Daughter-in-law. Two strong women in a room means the fight is one. Especially when the mom has a son that actually is in love with this woman. Mom's and dad's for that matter...hardly ever think their children's pick is good enough...Untold law if ya ask me

Answer 5

I loved my mother in-law but it did take some time to get use to her but after i did i started relaxing around her and we got along great. It would bother me if my husband didn't like my mother. If you can't get along with your mother in-law that just means someone is jealous and being suborn and don't want to get along. Remember she did raise the man you are in love with and married to that should count for something.

Answer 6

While it would be nice if everyone got along, its not required. However, both parties should be civil to each other and not try and cause problems. That is just immature and uncalled for. Being civil and respectful does not mean liking each other, it means you are mature and are not causing further problems for the rest of the family that has to choose sides between two people they love.  

Answer 7

It really doesn't matter if she 'gets along with' the mother.

If the mother and daughter-in-law develop a friendship that is great, but it is not necessary.

What is necessary is that the daughter-in-law realize that she owes the mother-in-law respect.

Why is this respect 'owed'?

Because the person that the daughter-in-law fell in love with became the person they are today due to the fact that this 'mother-in-law' nutured and raised him into the person he is today.  The product of her efforts became the man that the daughter-in-law fell in love with enough to marry...and maybe even have children with.

When respect is the first step....that is the basis for any positive relationship....with anyone.

Too many times in today's society, people think that everyone else should show them respect before they will give it back.... it just doesn't work that way.

Respect should be mutually granted.

However, elder people should recieve respect first.  

Later, if the younger person feels they should not have given respect to this person ...they can decide that and move on.  

When put in a difficult situation such as that... I would then just avoid the person as much as possible.

Answer 8

yes as long as we could get along with each other and you wouldn't get mad if i came out of the closet and said i was just getting along with your mom for you.

Answer 9

i am the wife and i tolerated my mother in law as well as my father in law.  i had to make it clear to them both that i wasn't to be pushed around.  this was only after giving them several chances to be cordial and of course they didn't until i spoke up.  haven't had a problem since.

i was married to their son not them.

Answer 10

Always, thats what mom in-laws and daughter in laws all over the world do. The earth is a peaceful place.

Answer 11

Depending on your relationship with your mother, she (wife) should at least be respectful. It's always better for everyone if they just get along.  

Answer 12

Personally, I would hate it if my husband didn't get along with my mother or father.  I think it's important to remain family ties even with in-laws.  However, I can see the view point of loving your wife no matter what.  So it would bother me...but not to the point that I'd resent her for it.