Shy child entering before/after care at my house.

Question

I have a very shy 4 year old starting in my before and after program. I drop the kids at school and pick them up. I will be visiting his house a few times in the next two weeks to get to know him. He has stayed home with mom and is very attached to her and afraid of me. Never had a child so young in my program but now public schools here started all day pre school. They also speak spanish at home. Mom says he understands both but he is just 4 years old. The first day I pick him up I am worried he will be terrified. Suggestions?

Answer 1

bring toys with you when you visit him like puzzles and some shape sorters. something that he likes to grab his attention. also you can learn some basic spanish words and use them for him to show that you are willing to come to his level and speak.

be consistant, if he starts to freak out on your car ride find out beforehand from mom how she wants this handled. if she wants you to bring back home then do it and if she says take him on to school then do and keep reassuring that he is alright.

she may also want to bring him to meet the teachers that he will be in most contact with so he will better about leaving your care and into thiers.

Answer 2

You should bring him some sort of prize, like go to the dollar store and pick out something spiderman or some stickers he can use on the car ride to the school and while in your program. It may take a few days but he will eventually get used to you and being with the other children. He will probably have a hard time at school as well, but just keep on!

Answer 3

Bribery.

He'll get used to you a LOT faster when his mom isnt there, trust me they do.

Just be patient with him and talk clearly.

Answer 4

My son is extremely shy (he is just about to turn 4) and when his new nanny started almost a year ago he was terrified of her.  But the most important things were:

1.  She didn't try to get in his face too much or make him respond to her, like if he was playing she would just kind of sit a reasonable distance from him, play herself and ask him a few questions here and there.  I think that being full on and throwing things in his face is not the answer, just let that trust and affection build at his pace.

2.  I always made sure that he saw positive interactions between the nanny and me, and that definitely increased both of their levels of confidence.

It took him about one week to respond to her, and two or three weeks until he stopped screaming when I left, and about 4-6 weeks until we all felt totally comfortable in the situation, but now he absolutely adores her and is his normal gregarious self around her.

Good luck !