Shyness has gone overboard?

Question

k i'm NOT outgoing. i probably NEVER will be. when i was younger like toddler & just becoming an adolescent a different story...i'm only outgoing with the "nerds" i can never be my complete self around the cool ppl. when i get around cool ppl & they talk to me i start to break out in a cold sweat & i loose everything in my mind that i'm gonna say & just use head motion..how weird is that? its like being around a crush almost? & i never dance @ parties, i never wanna participate in anything & everybody encrouages me but i never give in & they give up & leave me to bite the dust..i'm tired of being left out..what should i do?

Answer 1

wow are you my twin..lol! take it from a person who is just like you,no matter what you do your never going to be comfortable around the cool people,its not you and if you try its more stressful then just being your self..the only reason your trying to be part of the cool crowd is because everyone around you is telling you what your happiness should be.but the truth is your happiness is being alone and hanging out with the nerdy groups but you cant enjoy it because its not the popular thing...

Answer 2

i kind of no wat ur feling but its with some friends anyway maybe u could change a little bit. come out of ur shell and try to make friends with the cool ppl. try practicing in the mirror or something.

Answer 3

It's not weird .. You actually just described the typical average unpopular kid...

All I can tell you is get over it somehow. Just don't be afraid and remember those people are human too.

Answer 4

you have put up a front for way too long and now you cant change over maybe you should continue with the crowd you are with because you cant really relate to the ones who are trying to at this point.

Answer 5

I was one of those nerd! Oh, I still am.

But now, 6yrs after highshool, the popular people I knew (as in knew off, never really talked to them) aren't doing so well. Here are the four I know were they are.

1. is in prison.

2. welfare with 3 kids and a drinking problem

3. still serves me my pizza

4. has a good job but 3 marriages and 3 or 4 kids (one I think is step)

Now, my nerdy friends and I are alittle better off.

1. trained Olympic climbers and now works at microsoft designing.

2. listed as one of the best coders by the cia (in a good way)

3. assistant DA

Admittly bad news travels though the grape vain faster then good news, so I'm sure some of the popular kids are doing well too but your choice in friends isnt all that bad :)

Answer 6

yh i use to have the same problem to . what you just have to think to yourself is that their no different from you. just because there popular dos not meen that their mean. they will like you more if you actually say something than if your just quiete and the only way to get to make new freinds is getting over that barrier.if its just the "cool" poepl you have truble talking to try getting some more confidence by meeting new normal poeple and makng more freinds one at a time . dont jump in at the deep end.whats the worst that could happen ? even if it doesnt go well its not like youve lost a freind  is it?

but rememver stay with the freinds you feel most comfortable with and that you can trust .

Answer 7

It sounds to me like you are afraid to be your self around, These so called "cool people" your afraid of what they might think of you. your not sure what to say because your terrified of the what ifs, what if i say something stupid, what if they laugh at me, what if i'm never going to fit in.... Trust me it's totally normal!

So here's some advice, the next time you hang out with them just keep telling your self that there just normal people. there not any better than you are... they just have the label. Because the truth is the only person it's awkward for is you. get to know them better find out what you have in common and start with that, but don't forget there just people and if they don't like you for who you are, then don't hang out with them... cus in the real world, there not cool. it's just a lable.

Answer 8

I was shy as a teenager.  It's not the end of the world.  If the "cool" people make you uncomfortable, then don't hang out with them.  How can you have a good time with people who obviously don't mesh with your personality?  Do you have a good time with the "nerds?"  If so, why would you want to ditch the people you feel most at home with for some people who make you sweat and stutter?  If dancing at parties doesn't appeal to you, then don't do it.  Going to parties should be about having fun, not looking "cool" for some people who aren't going to matter to you anymore in a few years.  Stop trying to be someone you're not.  It will only wreck your self-esteem and keep you unhappy.  Go on and embrace your inner nerd.

Nerds and geeks are often the most loyal friends you could ever hope for.  And the irony of everything is that most of the "cool" people I knew in high school didn't even finish college because they were too busy being cool to study.  Meanwhile, the nerds studied and graduated and are now successful and happy.  The "cool" people are mostly still living in our hometown and clinging to what they were when they were 17.  It's pretty sad.  

Love and accept yourself for who you are.  If you can do it, others will too.

Answer 9

if you start to be yourself, other people might like you, even the "cool" people.

don't be afraid to show who you are with any type of person because you never know, they could actually like how you are.

take a risk and just have fun with your life!

Answer 10

Just walk yourself up to a random dude during recess and chuck a football at his head. (Great conversation starter.)

Answer 11

If you're comfortable around the "nerds", why go anywhere else? If "popular people" make you sweat or uncomfortable, why hang out with them? I know in teen years it seems the most important thing to do is be in the IN crowd. But your body is literally telling you it doesn't want to be there!! Hang with people you actually like. Don't spend your whole teen life trying to fit in somewhere you just may not belong.