Sibling apology help?

Question

I'm the youngest of three brothers. I'm sixteen, they're 20 and 23. We're all really close, like best friends. The middle brother, Mark, is always beating me up and yelling at me. Playfully, but still, it hurts.

The other night something bad had happened so I was sort of pissed off and got in the shower. And, as usual, he just barged in and physically pulled me out the shower because he "needed to use it because he had to get ready to go out".

He always does that, but because I was in a bad mood and trying to calm down, I sort of exploded at him and shoved him. Well, as playful as my brother usually is he won't have me pushing him around. So he shoved me back and punched me in the stomach.

I went crazy at him and punched him in the face, split his lip, which started off an enormous fist fight between us. After a few minutes he stormed out the bathroom, and left the house.

Ten minutes later he bursts back in, comes up stairs and starts beating me up again. He's beat other people up like that in fights, but he's never beat me up like that. My brother is really big, and muscular, and even though I'm pretty big and muscular too, I'm nothing in comparison to him. So he had me on the floor and was completely going at me. I tried to fight back but obviously couldn't because of the size and strength difference. I bruised his jaw, and gave him a fat lip, but me gave me an ENORMOUS nose bleed, a black eye, bruised collarbone and split lip. Not to mention that he knocked the wind out of me, strangled me and virtually concussed me.

After a while he gave up and, after kicking me a few more times in the ribs (more bruises, ouch), he went into his bedroom and locked the door.

That was yesterday and he still hasn't come out. He's just been in there, watching films all day, on his computer, listening to music and stuff.

I feel really bad for having provoked him and I want to apologize to him but I don't know how. How do you apologize to someone - your brother - who you're usually best friends with ? I'm pretty stubborn and never really apologize to anyone, but I feel terrible and just don't want him to hate me anymore. Help, please?

Answer 1

The fact that you and your brother are so close is what scares me the most. If he would do this to you what would he do to someone he didn't love or care about. The biggest favor you could ever do in his live is to call the police or social services. This could help him to get the help he needs before he murders someone and throws his live away for good.

He's probably upset about your dad, but that is NO excuse to raise a hand to you or anyone else. He has major anger management problems that have to be dealt with right now. Don't let this pass and then have to look back someday and wish that you had done something. It will probably save his life. Good luck and continue to be strong. You are going through a lot too with your dad. Why is your mom never home? Is she working or at the hospital with your dad? Have you told her what happened? Does your other brother know what happened?  They both need to be told they will hopefully support you and call the police or social services. I'm sorry that you're getting such a lesson in tough love at your age. You are not responsible for his actions. Fighting between brothers isn't abnormal, but what he did hi is.  

Answer 2

let him cool down, this has happened to me and my brother before. once he cools down you can talk to him about it, and just tell him you got a little fed up and you were having a bad day, and shouldnt have taken it out on him.

Answer 3

Your brother has some serious anger issues. You need to stay away from him till he gets some help. People that love each other do not beat the c**p out of each other or pull each other out of the shower.  You need to also LOCK the door when you take a shower. Where were your parents or yourother brother? Why is the 20 yea old at home? does he go to school? Stay away...this isnt your fault.

Answer 4

Actually, you don't owe him an apology.  He assaulted you, and you probably should have him arrested for your own protection.  He needs to get some anger management skills, and definitely needs to get his own place.  He has no business busting into the bathroom while you're taking a shower.

You did not provoke him, you defended yourself from a bully.  Don't enable him by apologizing.  You'd only be inviting additional beatings.  If your parents can't protect you from this bully, then you need social services to step in.  Your next beating may be the one that kills you or puts you in traction.