Siblings that both have disabilities and special medical needs? Considered hard to place...?

Question

Should they be kept in the foster care system for an extended period (years), or should they look for separate adoptive homes for each one right away? If they should be kept together how long do you think they should look before they start to consider separating them?

What if the siblings have been apart the whole time they were in foster care?

Answer 1

It's nearly always best for the children to be kept together, even if they've so far been separated.

What are the special medical needs?  Are they so high needs that they would be unable to be managed by the one set of parents, even with assistance?  That's about the only time I could think of it being appropriate to separate them.

If it's impossible to place them permanently together, then I would say keep them in the same foster home, as long as it's permanent and reliable.

Answer 2

As long as being in a foster home TOGETHER is "working" I say keep them together.

I got through the toughest times in my life with my sister. We know what each other is thinking.

When I decided to move across the country when I was 16, my sister was dead set against it. She didn't want to leave California and the party life (she was 17).

She came with me anyway and we stuck together. We are both married with kids and are happier than we ever were in Cali. I gave up a great job at a large news station after college because I couldn't move that far from her.

So what I'm saying is, if they can be kept together, then they should be even if it is in a temporary, because they will be each others permanence!!!!

Answer 3

That really depends on a lot of things.  If they are able to be placed together in a good, long-term foster placement, then I'd say it's best to let them sit in foster care until an adoptive placement comes up.  If the only foster homes where they can stay together are abusive or unable to meet their needs; or if they're not able to be placed together, then I'd say get them into an adoptive placement (as long as the AP's can meet their needs) the sooner the better.

I'm not sure I understand your second question: "If they should be kept together how long do you think they should look before they start to consider separating them?"  Never, IMO.  If they can be kept together, and they're comfortable where they are, and their needs are met, they should stay there, together.  If there's no need to separate them...then, well, there's no need to separate them.  I understand the state probably wants to get these children adopted as quickly as possible because they're expensive to house in foster care, but too frikin' bad.  If the only way to keep them together and safe is to pay for foster care until they're 18, well then, the state ought to just dish out the money and be GRATEFUL that they were able to do what's best for these kids who need each other.

ETA:  Ugh, that sucks for them!  I hope they can find a place where they can be together.

Answer 4

As sad as it is to say but yes. It takes an amazing person to raise a chil with disabilities and my heart and hands go out to them. They are very special people. But if a family wants only one of them an they ahve already been apart then they should be fine.