Signs of divorce or separation? ?

Question

I'm sorry, I already asked this but I need more answers. My parents fight a lot at least once a day. They fight about the stupidest things and can never resolve their fights. They always blame the problem on the other person...constantly saying how the other person doesn't care about them. I've asked them before, only when they are fighting if they are going to get a divorce. Sometimes they'll say "well maybe it would be for the best". They ever REALLY love each other. I mean they can stand each other sometimes but its not like they are actually enjoying ones company. They always look at each others flaws instead of the positive atributes to one another. My dad has even said he thinks it would be best if we were surrounded by all this fighting.

they've been married 14 years btw

My main question is, are these signs of divorce?

What are some other signs of divorce?

thanks in advance

Answer 1

Well, quite frankly yes. However, you need to stay completely neutral and be there for both of them if needed. This is their business, not yours and you should never forget that. Of course, I know it affects you and your siblings; however, let them figure this one out and you just wait for the outcome to fall out. They and only they know if they want to make a go of it or not. You should not question them either. Good Luck.

Answer 2

I think you should show this post to your parents, or at least talk to them about how much their fighting is hurting you.

Some signs of a breakup can be as simple as their facial expressions - like not smiling at each other or other things like saying really mean things/insulting each others character.

Keep in mind that just because a couple fights does not mean they are going to break up. Relationships are hard work. Sometimes people just don't get along, but end up resolving their issues because they love each other. Haven't you ever had a family member get on your nerves before, but love them anyway?

Just talk to them and let them know how you are feeling.

Answer 3

I am sorry that you find yourself in the midst of  your parents arguements. Unfortunately, life has a few stresses that pop up, and when two people have been married for many years and are comfortable with each other, they can sometimes forget to be respectful of each other's feelings, talk louder than they should, and pick and small details. Perhaps it is stress that is causing much of the arguements and it is coming out as anger towards the other person. A lot of times what we yell about is not the actual reason we are yelling. I would suggest that one evening when both of your parents are home, ask them both to meet you at the table with no distractions. Raise the issue with them. Tell them that you notice the fighting, you hear the arguments, and you would like to try to communicate better. Let them know that the yelling seems to be out of control and it upsets you. Ask them to tone it down. Point out some good qualities of both parents and let them know that you'd like to try to focus on positive things for a week - you may find that the whole household finds more happiness during the coming days. Best wishes - keep comminucating your feelings to them and hopefully they will realize that they have a lot to be thankful for - you sound like a great kid!  

Answer 4

im sorry to hear this and sorry that you are goin through this but i think that they will sooner or later...well just check if you are alone with your mom ask her so does she still love ur father and vice versa and when your father is home late does your mom say anything or just ignore it..

Answer 5

Parents have a horrible habit of not communicating with their children regarding divorce.  I believe that they truly don't want to involve the kids in the "grown-up" problems by discussing divorce or separation.  They think they're helping, but they're not.

Some married couples just have a horrible way of communicating with one another, too.  They get into patterns where one person takes over the discussion and doesn't let the other speak or voice their opinion.  Then, when the other person finally gets to open up, they go ballistic because they've kept stuff inside for so long.

So, what I'm trying to say is:  These may or may not be signs that your parents are divorcing or separating.  My parents were like that and split up when I was 16.  My Grandparents were like that (both sets) and they never separated...they LIVED to fight with one another and couldn't live without fighting.

If your parents are going to separate, they should be discussing it with you to some degree.

Answer 6

The "signs of divorce" are when one parent moves out. Or worse, when one partenr "serves" the other with divorce papers from the court.

All in  all, you are in a pretty good situation.  Your parents HAVEN'T given up. It seems that even though they think "it might be for the best" neither one will do anything about it.  That IS a good sign!

here is something I would not sugest to everybody, but may  you would want to try it.  Get alone with the parent that is the same s*x as you (there is no clue in the question to tell if you're male or female).  Get them ALONE, and tell them what you've told us.  Express your concerns, tell them you're scared, and tell them hour much it hurts you to see them fight, and fight unfairly,  Don't get mad, don't lose your cool, just tell them.

["Mom/Dad, it really hurts me when you and Dad/Mom fight. I am SOO scared ! I love you BOTH, I like living here, and I don't want to see anything happen to US.  When you fight I see . . . . ."]

The do the same thing with the OTHER parent.

Normally, I don't tell kids to get in the way of parents fights even if the "kids" are 35!  But if your parents are still hanging together, maybe YOU have a chance, >IF< you can do this without getting angry and upset.  YOU be cool and clear and loving, and see what happens..